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How do you create a schedule/routine that actually WORKS?
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Not just school, because that time is actually going well, in spite of a toddler in the way constantly, but the whole day. I still feel like my dh expects too much of me in the way of cleaning the house, but in his defense, I’m not that good at it anyway. I think he wants *too* much done, though, whereas I am happy with basics. Other than that, though, how can I fit in enough outside time for the kids (and myself), plus time to read, plus time for personal devotions, plus chores, plus specific projects I may want/need to get done? I have 4 kids, ages 8, 7, 5, and 2 1/2. The older 3 girls all help with chores, and while they could do better with discipline, it’s not the worst it could be. They’re honestly not that bad (angels in church – I get asked all the time how I do it LOL), but of course could always improve. We have a chore jar system which works well, the problem more lies in *when* to do the chores. We also have a toy checkout system, which goes great when hubby and I are consistent and firm that the kids use it.
My biggest problem is just how to fit it all in. Everything I have on my schedule is definitely important, I just can’t seem to find a good way to do it all. Help!
I don’t know about fitting it all in, but I just made something we all love. I’m never good at schedules or getting much done, so I decided to take the idea of the Charlotte Mason scripture memory system and use it for the school work. I think it would work for housework too.
I got a box for file cards and just made a tab for each day. I put what the kids are going to do for school on cards, and put them in for whatever day I wanted it done. It’s easy to change too when I need to. I have about 6 daily things, and I started out with a daily tab; but it was hard to remember to pick the daily cards as well as whatever day it was. So I wrote DAILY at the top of those and each day, we take those out and put them in with the next day’s work.
The kids like to pick cards at random and just do whatever it is and get it done. It makes it fun. So I think with chores that would work. You just put what needs done in each day and pick. It’s like a game. We’ve gotten more work done each day since we started than ever, and I even had a migraine this week! My husband loves it too.
Good luck
I, too, have 4 children about the same ages. My oldest is 12 though, so I do have him help ALOT.
In saying that, I would just look realistically at your day. Not all things can get done everyday, but you can get a lot done in certain areas of your home on different days. Do you have a binder for home management? I will pm you the details of that if you’re interested. Just let me know!
Planning is crucial. I’m happy to help with creating a custom plan for you.
This is what works for us:
*I plan one day a week to do deep cleaning (Sundays) which involves washing bed sheets, vacuuming, mopping, and cleaning bathrooms. Girls each have 1 bathroom to clean and take out garbage that day so that cuts down amt of time it used to take me to do it all alone.
*On Wednesdays, I vacuum again just first floor rugs and living room carpet, quick mop, and quick clean up in bathrooms. I only vaccum 2x per week but if rugs get extra dirty from dogs and shoes dragging in leaves/dirt, I will do it every other day real quickly.
*I do laundry as needed basis which usually is one load of clothes every 2 days. I do gentle cycles, towels, and jeans only once per week. Girls helpe fold and put away their own clothes and towels.
*Otherwise each day, we wash dishes after every meal and put items away when we are finished! I don’t care if I can’t get my house dusted weekly, as long as everything is put in it’s place. I probably dust ONCE per month. We have a good house filter, anyway.
Now as for other things, my goal is to exercise each day by 4:30 for an hour so as to get dinner cooked on time (but I do fall behind most days!). I read my bible in the afternoon during our rest time, and in evenings after girls go to bed. Now I’m not perfect
, so some days I get too busy until late at night, but make sure I do read at least one chapter! I have books I enjoy reading as well and read while watching the news with dh. I also have to take my older dd age 9 to doctors monthly for allergy shots and orthodontist, so while we are in the waiting room, we bring our writing and math worksheets so time is never wasted. 😉 Then we do some shopping while we are already out. Oh, and for groceries we hit the store on Thurs mornings after some school work, home again, then out for piano practice. Otherwise walmart shopping about 2x per month on a day we’ll be out anyway.
I suggest you write down all you want to accomplish on a weekly basis and write down reasonable times for doing them. Slowly ease them into your present schedule so it won’t seem hectic!
HTH!
Tara
*And my girls are ages 9, 7, and 4 1/2.
Some of your comments reminded me of a post a while back. While the poster has some physical/health problems, the principles are still there that may help you with managing your time. My post on this link was about a book I read: Time Management from the Inside Out, if you can scroll down to read that.
http://simplycharlottemason.com/scmforum/topic/what-do-you-do-when-1
I know there are many posts on here about similar topics as many of us ladies are pressured into thinking we have to do it all.
Something else I have tried and use off and on is http://www.motivatedmoms.com for a cleaning schedule. Several moms on here use it (which is where I first learned of it). I also found Sonyas Planning Series to be helpful to apply to our full day. Do you have the PLanning your CM Education book and dvd? If you do, watch it with daily life in mind more so than homeschool. What is your big picture? What are your goals and mission? What can you do this year or term and what can you do later? How can you break down your week to do certain chores and tasks certain days of the week? You could do this with menus and evenings such as Taco Tuesday and Family Game Night, etc. Also planning your day. Start with the essentials. In the mornings, read your Bible and get in exercise time, which will give you more energy in the long run. You can use schedules and time box charts for your whole day and not just for homeschool (charts in back of SCM Planning book). You know, I am still working on trying to figure out how to get it all done and knowing which things to delay or delete. But these things have helped me along the way to find what works for us and what does not. Then there is a whole different issue of self-discipline to follow through with what I am supposed to do and when, even when I do not feel like it.
I have to float one thing out there, just because. 🙂 Sometimes we can look at all sorts of really good, worthwhile and important activities that we feel we “ought” to do . . . and sometimes, it’s just plain not possible to do it all, at least all AT ONCE. Sometimes we need to be tutored in how to determine what is MOST important for our time of life and learning to prioritize and choose THAT and wait until another season to do other things. I know this is hard! It’s been hard for a long time, I promise. 🙂 But sometimes you have to add up young kids, home education, discipleship, husband, house, special projects, family commitments, and whatever else, see that it doesn’t all fit, and learn to seek the Lord for what HE wants and needs you to do right now. Sometimes for me that has included giving up something I thought I wanted or needed to do, or at least deferring it a while. I know it’s hard.
Hugs,
Michelle
Wow, I could have written this post!
I’m feeling better right now, but I often feel as you do…and I, too, have a husband who, of no fault of his own, likes a clean house. It’s better than being married to a slob, right? lol
I have been praying incessantly and…honestly? I think I have too many out of house activities. I have to finish out this year…but before we sign up for ANYTHING next year, I am going to pray long and hard about it. Are you doing a lot out of the house as well? Also, I now have my oldest do her independet work by herself in a separate room…it takes her about an hour and I can get a lot done with her little sister and with the house in that time.
I also think that getting up early changes everything. It’s amazing.
But, yeah, 24 hours? I don’t like to question God’s sovereignty…but I want to discuss this with Him in heaven. lol I’m afraid He’ll say something like, “Any less and you would have had too little…any more and you would have forgotten to call on Me.”
Stay on your knees sister! I’ll pray for you..:)
Bookworm is right! I have so wanted to do more and more for others! And I think I finally realized this is not a good time in my life right now…I think! LOL! I have health issues and that has made me give up my volunteering at a local pregnancy center once a wk. I miss it..and feel bad that I am not helping more in my community. BUT..this is a season of life. I have to think of my husband, kids, homeschool, home, food, and where is the time for exercise and devotions? I am really writing this to myself..LOL! I need a reminder that this is a season of life and one day will come when the littles are grown. I will be sad and twiddling my thumbs wonder what to do! ha! Then I will, hopefully, be able to serve others! So, do you have too many outside activities?
This is from a dear friend of mine…who consistently reminds me of this…by having this at the bottom of her emails!
“I work for a King. He has put me in charge of his home.
When He comes to see how I have managed His possessions
and His children, I do not want to be found wanting.
I want to do my best. Everything I have is on loan from Him.
I have room and board and a job to do, but it is all for Him.
Therefore I want to dress my best and do my best in all my work.
I also want to be creative, for this is a sincere attempt to glorify Him
and His beautiful creation. How I manage my home is a form
of worship to Him.” –Lydia ShermanFor us the most important key to working with a schedule is to have some activities and times that are absolutely consistent, and then making sure there is enough empty time to ‘just be’ in between the scheduled times. This gives us a buffer zone so that if something comes up, we can deal with it, while still getting the scheduled activities done. If we are completely scheduled, any little thing can throw off everything.
So, for example, we always have breakfast as soon as everyone is awake. Then we always take care of our morning tasks (personal care, room rescue, clean kitchen).
Then, we have time to just relax. The kids can scatter and play for a few minutes, I can check email (like right now), or get a few things ready for the day.
About 9:45 we have our morning ‘scripture and story time.’ 9:30 is too early – we haven’t had enough free time- and 10:00 is too late – we start bumping into whatever else is planned for the morning (library day, playdates, science activities, etc.)
I do most of my scheduling around meal/snack times. I know what we do right before and after each meal or snack. My dayhome regulations require that I feed these kids every 2-3 hours, so this gives us the backbone for our schedule.
Of course, to make the ‘buffer time’ idea work, we need to make sure that we don’t have too many scheduled activities to fit it all in. This means setting priorities and selecting only things that are the most important. Have a discussion with your DH and make sure you understand each other’s priorities. (His definition of a clean house may be different than yours, for example.) Then, if there is not enough time to meet those priorities, something needs be adjusted, streamlined, or delegated. (I know that the moment my DH started “expecting” the house to be cleaner would be the moment he would be handed a scrubber and a broom.)
Joanne
I agree with Michelle and with the others. I myself don’t have that beautiful clean house. I don’t think it will happen for a long time. When I go to others homes sometimes I am , (looking for better words. 🙂 ) envious.
Then I realize I spend more time perhaps with my kids, I have a child with destroying a house in no time disorder. LOL 🙂 and I make most of my own food which takes time. I don’t just go around popping just anything into the oven. We have kids with food allergies so food prep takes longer, grocery shopping takes longer ect… Then their are the issues of animals. We have limited our house to 1 animal. Dog. Oh, and a catfish the kids decided to keep. Not a problem since it is in a goldfish bowl. I do have outside animals but those take minimal care. Chickens, and one pig. The kids feed and water them and they only have to be cleaned a couple times a year. Activities, We try not to involve ourselves in to many of those. I know this may seem odd but it seems that the more we involve ourselves in things the more it takes away from the time we spend with each other and more things creep in. We do not have any outside activities. I have a hard enough time with the things I have here at home. That doesn’t mean I don’t do things with my kids. We do all kinds of things. Most of it is family orientated. We also visit neighbors when we get all of our homework and chores done. This is a treat for them. The older neighbors enjoy it. too 🙂 I also don’t live near a bunch of stores so I don’t get to go shopping frequently. It has helped me to think about what I need ahead of time. I may get to a larger city maybe once every two weeks. I also spend time to make laundry detergent, gardening, and canning. IF you figure all the things that you do or like to do there isn’t much time left over for outside influcence in your life.
I was thinking about letting my kids join a team sport. Then, when I talked it over with my husband he reminded me of our goals. We will be required to go to games, practice, and pay extra money to do these things. Plus, have the influence of other children with values not our own influencing our children. So, even if it is youth group they still have influence of non-homeschooled children that give negative feed. I liked the Maxwell’s outlook on guarding your childs heart. I like to do other things like sew, and make cards. I have stopped doing some of these activities because I just don’t have the time.
I will however go to a function where we get together once in awhile to make some cards. I get a break away from the kids. I get to make some much needed cards and I get some mommy time with adults. As for sewing I have put most of this on the back burner and I may be able to do some with the kids this year if I can find some extra time. This doesn’t count PMS and having migraines and medical things going on. All of this and I am lucky if I get a shower!
So, If you are feeling like you don’t have time for anything you are right! I think if my DH put more on top of that I would probably loose my mind! 🙂 Oh, and that wasn’t counting all the homeschooling stuff either. LOL… So, if the house isn’t clean, things are out of order, or dinner isn’t on time then maybe I am not the Proverbs 31 women that has many maid servants helping her! I have to do it all myself. I just pray G-d sees my heart and my kids grow up to know him. Then, when they are out of the house, maybe it will be clean. Then again maybe I will be to old to care! I try not to beat myself up to much. When I do beat myself up it is usually after someone has come to visit and I know I don’t live up to their expectations. It is sad but maybe that is why I don’t go to far from home to often. I have way to much going on here that needs my attention. Good Luck if you are trying to be super mom. I am just happy to be alive and breathing and praying that my kids will be happy & well educated. 🙂 Blessing for the overwhelmed. I think it does get better when they turn about 4 years old. The little ones sometimes make you feel more overwhelmed. That just adds nursing and changing diapers and washing more clothes and faces to the already growing list of things you are doing. Good Luck let me know how you are doing with that. I haven’t come up with a magic equation on how to get it all done without cutting out what must go. So, with that said ask your husband what things bother him. If he says the whole house then you have a problem. You will have to move to a bigger house with more storage.
This however may be a blessing since he will have to provide it. If he only wants the livingroom clean then do your best to work on that before he gets home. Some things they over look others they have to realize just are for a Proverbs 31 woman with lots of handmaids… suggest he gets a maid for you…. : Thinking of you because I am sure you will figure it out. praying G-d gives you the wisdom soon. 🙂Thank you, all, for your advice and words of encouragement! I feel so much better today. Our day yesterday was just absolutely awful, to put it mildly.
But today, we have eased it into more of a routine rather than a set schedule, and that seems to be helping a lot. We don’t have a lot of outside things going on. We have co-op every other Friday, we have dance/gymnastics Sat morning (same place, almost same times, so I’m there for 2 1/2 hrs with my sewing/mending/embroidery and stuff for the kids to do when it’s not their turn), we have church/Sunday school on Sunday mornings & once a month Pioneers is right afterwards. I have MOPS every other Tues. night. That’s really it right now. I don’t feel like there’s too much of that going on since it’s mostly weekends or else every other week. The things I was trying to fit in was all the outside time (CM advocated 4+ hours, didn’t she?), adding in family devotions and my own personal devotions (I have not been good about doing that – rarely have I done it in my 9 1/2 yrs of marriage! ), and time to just get stuff done around the house (chores and other things that need to get done).BTW, go figure, our original routine that I had way back before Christmas (that got destroyed when we stopped school for the holidays and my 2 1/2 yr old getting into everything) is the one that is still ending up working the best. LOL Oh, the things us poor moms worry about. <sigh>
CM recommended 6 hours. But she recommended this to the at home nannies that were resonsible only for the children in the affluent families in England. It was acceptable, at that time, to keep children at home until they were 9 years old for their education. She is speaking to these educators…keepers of the schoolroom. They were not in charge of laundry, meals or any other household activities. So…we can give ourselves a little grace in this area! 🙂
Someone once suggested to me that, in this day and age, the maidservants mentioned in Proverbs 31 could well be our washers & dryers, dishwashers, microwaves, bread machines, vacuum cleaners, etc. She thought that “providing a portion” for those things means using them properly and maintaining them.
In that respect, I don’t have many “maidservants”–no dishwasher, at least; I just have children.
, so some days I get too busy until late at night, but make sure I do read at least one chapter! I have books I enjoy reading as well and read while watching the news with dh. 
This however may be a blessing since he will have to provide it. If he only wants the livingroom clean then do your best to work on that before he gets home. Some things they over look others they have to realize just are for a Proverbs 31 woman with lots of handmaids… suggest he gets a maid for you…. :
But today, we have eased it into more of a routine rather than a set schedule, and that seems to be helping a lot. We don’t have a lot of outside things going on. We have co-op every other Friday, we have dance/gymnastics Sat morning (same place, almost same times, so I’m there for 2 1/2 hrs with my sewing/mending/embroidery and stuff for the kids to do when it’s not their turn), we have church/Sunday school on Sunday mornings & once a month Pioneers is right afterwards. I have MOPS every other Tues. night. That’s really it right now. I don’t feel like there’s too much of that going on since it’s mostly weekends or else every other week. The things I was trying to fit in was all the outside time (CM advocated 4+ hours, didn’t she?), adding in family devotions and my own personal devotions (I have not been good about doing that – rarely have I done it in my 9 1/2 yrs of marriage! 
), and time to just get stuff done around the house (chores and other things that need to get done).
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