What do you do when….?

Miranda, I’m sorry you are going through all this!   I don’t have an answer for most of your questions (other than prayer)…

Have you talked to your doctor?

Also – are you aware of anything disturbing your sleep? (ie, do you have a baby, or something like that keeping you sleep deprived?)  If you aren’t aware of anything but are always “extremely tired” – can you get a sleep study done?

Both my husband and I have sleep disorders.  He has Sleep Apnea….  I have something else that I don’t remember the name of but is treated the same….    He was unofficially diagnosed during a hospital stay… was 3 years on the waiting list for the sleep study… fortunately the wait times are less now!).   He was so bad by the time the study was done that he would fall asleep doing things.  He would be talking and fall asleep mid sentance.  He would be chopping onions and fall asleep, etc.  He would “sleep” at night, but his sleep apnea was waking him so often (he was unaware of it) that he was extremely sleep deprived.  His mind would “wake up” several times a minute.  His oxygen levels would drop anytime he tried to sleep too (which is how they picked it up at the hospital

I was never so bad – but I was SO tired all the time – and was starting to get to the point that if I sat to watch TV or read a book or something, that I’d likely fall asleep.  My dh said that I would toss and turn all night (I think I still do.)

We both use a mask at night when we sleep and we are a lot better.  

hope that helps some

If you are not in too much pain, I suggest a rebounder…mini trampoline. Five minutes of light bouncing is revitalizing to me.

Two things that are helping me lately are tomatoes and hardstops…which I discovered from Ann Voskamp’s blog: http://www.aholyexperience.com

Tomatoes are 25 minute uninterrupted timer sessions followed by a break, recording progress on an activity task sheet. http://www.pomodorotechnique.com/

http://www.lifehack.org/articles/productivity/the-pomodoro-technique-is-it-right-for-you.html

This is similar to Flylady’s you can do anything in 15 minutes.

http://www.flylady.net/pages/FLYingLessons_CrisisCleaning.asp.

Hardstops are those moments when you just stop no matter what and do those spiritually, relationally, life sustaining activities…like pray, read, write, discuss (#4 on his list http://www.aholyexperience.com/2011/02/simply-homeschooling/). It is always a blessing to me when I connect with my Lord, husband, and children, and I never regret the time spent with them. Hardstops help not hinder.

Reguarding having flow in your day, I love what Sonya wrote in this post about time boxes (post #9): http://simplycharlottemason.com/scmforum/topic/discernment-help-for-mom#post-42768 Sonya wrote, “The one thing that helped me keep my sanity (somewhat) and keep moving forward with my to-do list was a daily routine. Notice I said “routine,” not “schedule.” A time-table schedule drove me to distraction. I wasted my attention on looking at the clock instead of concentrating on what I was supposed to be doing. But a regular routine to the day gave me the skeleton of a structure and kept me moving forward. 

I broke the day into time boxes arranged around meals and snack time. Then I could determine what I wanted/needed to include in each time box. Before Breakfast we got dressed. After Breakfast we did chores (make bed, brush teeth, comb hair), then schoolwork. After lunch was quiet time/nap time. The kids lay on their beds, listening to music, looking at/reading books, napping while I worked for a couple of hours. As they got older, they were allowed to play quietly in their room. etc. You probably don’t want to read about my routine, but you get the idea. The schoolwork might change from day to day, but it was always done during the same time box. And you know, the time boxes got to be good “fresh start” points to my day after a while. If one time box didn’t go as I had hoped, I looked at the next time box as a new beginning. One crazy time box did not have to mean a crazy entire day.”

I hope this encourages you and does not overwhelm you.

Janell

Sounds like you need some reinforcements:) We will all be praying I know, but there have been times in my life when I overcommitted, had the house, all the kids, home business etc etc..without the kind of pain you are experiencing. I know stress causes pain, its well documented..so, what can you do to alleviate the stress. hardstops are good. I recommend hiring some short term help if you can at all financially afford it. Could be a teenager to watch the littlies, or better yet, it is nothing short of amazing what a cleaning lady can do in four hours. You could get your bathrooms, kitchen, floors, and windows clean and sparkling for around 50-60 bucks..(out here anyhow, average around 11$/hour which is crazy cheap) Honestly there were a few times in my life when it was the best money I ever spent. I didn’t even worry about decluttering first, just got the house clean. Remember, if something has to give, it will usually be your health and that is way more important than pretty much any priority list. Your family needs you! Any other creative ways to manage time and juggle stress?

I know where you are right now!!  I have fibromyalgia and can completely relate to your stress.  I’ve had periods that were similar to yours right now and the only thing that got me through it was adrenaline.  But, speaking from experience, I always crashed when things settled down.

Give yourself time to adjust to what this means for you.   What works best for me is having balance in my life, lol. Getting plenty of rest and balance in physical exercise…too little and I seem to get worse….too much and I have major flare ups.  It sounds like this will be difficult for you right now, but you can maybe start making baby steps.  Last year I was very sick, so I went searching for some help. I’ll try to remember the names of the books and let you know.  I started taking several supplements and I feel SO much better.  It hasn’t cured my fibromyalgia, but I’m not catching every illness that passes through and I have much more energy.   I’ll see if I can list those out for you. 

The Lord has used this to teach me SO MANY things, mainly dependence on Him and learning to relinquish control. Over the years, He has used it in unique ways in different stages of my life.  I have been blessed.

The most frustrating times for me are when I think I’m doing everything right…diet, moderate exercise, rest, and then have a major flare-up…more learning to relinquish control.  Mental fogginess can get pretty bad during flare-ups.  Please remember this is the illness and will pass in time.

Having this diagnosis can focus you and you’ll find out what is really important to your family.  You have to be more intentional about everything you do which can be a wonderful blessing to you and your family.

Just like you, earlier this year I became completely overwhelmed by all the new ideas I was learning and trying to incorporate into our family life.  I couldn’t seem to get out of the cycle of trying harder and accomplishing nothing and getting frustrated and confused. 

My husband has been reading the same books and watching the same DVD’s, but he has delegated the planning of our homeschool journey to me.  He is always supportive, but relies on me to organize the family.

I didn’t know what to do so I stopped everything completely…stopped reading new books, stopped watching new training DVD’s and stopped trying to incorporate anything new.  I just needed time for everything to be absorbed, allowing the Holy Spirit to order things in my life and to breathe.

My mind and spirit are now refreshed and I have a clearer picture of the vision for our family.  I’ve already began incorporating habits and I’m in the middle of setting up goals and additional habits to develop.  I’m excited to get this all planned out and to spend some time with dear hubby getting his input and blessing.

My biggest struggle is slowing down and not trying to incorporate too many things at one time.  When I get overwhelmed by everything we’re not doing well yet, I just have to keep telling myself ONE HABIT AT A TIME.  Sonja’s Laying Down the Rails DVD really put this in perspective for me.  All of the SCM resources (including this forum) have really simplified things for me and clarified my thinking, easing the burden of making so many changes in my life.

Another thing I’ve learned is when it is God’s plan for my life, He will equip me with all I need to accomplish His tasks.  Sometimes it’s easy, but sometimes it has felt almost impossible and only through His power did I succeed. 

God will use this to HIS glory.  Rejoice in the excitement of what that might be.

I second HeidiS, pray about finding some volunteer help. After I had my last baby, I had a couple of home schooled teenagers help out for a while. It is a blessing for them to serve as well as a blessing for me to have the extra hands.