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What do you do when….?
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O.K. I need some help coming up with strategies for getting through some things.
First off, what do you do when you are soooo extremely tired but you simply do not have the choice of stopping? Is there some sort of natural supplement that I can take to help boost my energy and alertness? Do you just pray through it? Is there some sort of secret to give yourself a rush of adrenaline to get going again? I am willing to try almost anything short of drugs!
Secondly, what do you do when you have what seems like too many things to do in a day that are of equal importance? Usually I prioritize and go from there, but it seems that I have got myself into a situation where everything is on an equal status!
And third, what do you do when you are on a steep learning curve for many things and you have a “deadline” (sort of, this is the only word I could think of to describe) to put all of these newly learned skills into regular practice in a way that “flows”. I guess I’m asking if any of you have any tricks for finding a new “rhythm” to your days.
Last of all, do any of you know of natural ways to reduce pain and inflamation? I don’t like taking things like advil for any length of time and I don’t want to take prescritions either. The advil doesn’t really work all that great for the severity of pain anyway. So it does need to be something that works well.
I don’t know if there is anyone who has learned any “tricks” or strategies for getting through these times with success, but I am desperate enough to take a bit of a long shot, here!
Thanks to anyone who has advice!
-Miranda
Miranda, I’m sorry you are going through all this! I don’t have an answer for most of your questions (other than prayer)…
Have you talked to your doctor?
Also – are you aware of anything disturbing your sleep? (ie, do you have a baby, or something like that keeping you sleep deprived?) If you aren’t aware of anything but are always “extremely tired” – can you get a sleep study done?
Both my husband and I have sleep disorders. He has Sleep Apnea…. I have something else that I don’t remember the name of but is treated the same…. He was unofficially diagnosed during a hospital stay… was 3 years on the waiting list for the sleep study… fortunately the wait times are less now!). He was so bad by the time the study was done that he would fall asleep doing things. He would be talking and fall asleep mid sentance. He would be chopping onions and fall asleep, etc. He would “sleep” at night, but his sleep apnea was waking him so often (he was unaware of it) that he was extremely sleep deprived. His mind would “wake up” several times a minute. His oxygen levels would drop anytime he tried to sleep too (which is how they picked it up at the hospital
I was never so bad – but I was SO tired all the time – and was starting to get to the point that if I sat to watch TV or read a book or something, that I’d likely fall asleep. My dh said that I would toss and turn all night (I think I still do.)
We both use a mask at night when we sleep and we are a lot better.
hope that helps some
Hi Miranda,
I’m so sorry you’re struggling with all this. I’m no expert, but I know there are foods like walnuts, fresh greens, etc. that decrease inflammation and unhealthy foods that increase inflammation…you may know that and have tried, I just don’t know much about it:)
I’ve consulted with a Christian, homeschool nutritionist who is very highly recommended and SO knowledgable. She consults area dr.’s, is requested at area colleges, used to be the food and nutrition editor of the Sat. Evening Post, etc. She’s wonderful. Her consultations are done by phone for $85, which is very reasonable considering she looks at your food diary and med. history before the consultation (1 hr. plus), and answers any follow-up qu. She helps people with cancers and all kinds of med. issues. If that interests you at all, you can google Nutrition Quick and Simple, with Jodi Smith. Sorry that was so wordy!!! I hope you get relief soon. Blessings, Gina
Well, I have talked to the doctor (yesterday, actually) about the pain and tiredness etc. I am going for some tests. The thinking is that it may be fibromyalgia (sp?). I have done some minimal research on this since yesterday and it does seem to fit. But I’m tough, and to be honest, I have come through worse health situations in the past.
Even if I do have this, it is just a name and I will deal with it once I know how. But in the meantime, I need to get through this time and make all of these new things that I am having to learn, start to flow, as well as get through all of the other extra things that have been added on that are just for this summer. They have to get done and I just don’t know the strategy to use to get them all done! I have been trying for a few weeks now and it does not seem to be coming together! I am working HARD but not finding the rhythm that I was hoping would start to come. Plus it seems as though, no matter how much I accomlish, lately, the list is still just as long or longer! There is a HUGE list. Including a lot of things that are new to me but that I am needing to learn and incorporate into a daily/weekly routine before we start our next school year in Sept. I need to get through this time and have some sort of a rhythm to my days before school starts…or I feel as though I would be doomed!
Thank you for the encouragment, suzukimom. Maybe I have just dug myself into a hole to big to climb out of!
-Miranda
I guess I was typing at the same time as Gina. Thanks for your post! I will check into it, at least. I am in Canada, though, so that may make a difference. Thanks for the encouragment.
If you are not in too much pain, I suggest a rebounder…mini trampoline. Five minutes of light bouncing is revitalizing to me.
Two things that are helping me lately are tomatoes and hardstops…which I discovered from Ann Voskamp’s blog: http://www.aholyexperience.com
Tomatoes are 25 minute uninterrupted timer sessions followed by a break, recording progress on an activity task sheet. http://www.pomodorotechnique.com/
http://www.lifehack.org/articles/productivity/the-pomodoro-technique-is-it-right-for-you.html
This is similar to Flylady’s you can do anything in 15 minutes.
http://www.flylady.net/pages/FLYingLessons_CrisisCleaning.asp.
Hardstops are those moments when you just stop no matter what and do those spiritually, relationally, life sustaining activities…like pray, read, write, discuss (#4 on his list http://www.aholyexperience.com/2011/02/simply-homeschooling/). It is always a blessing to me when I connect with my Lord, husband, and children, and I never regret the time spent with them. Hardstops help not hinder.
Reguarding having flow in your day, I love what Sonya wrote in this post about time boxes (post #9): http://simplycharlottemason.com/scmforum/topic/discernment-help-for-mom#post-42768 Sonya wrote, “The one thing that helped me keep my sanity (somewhat) and keep moving forward with my to-do list was a daily routine. Notice I said “routine,” not “schedule.” A time-table schedule drove me to distraction. I wasted my attention on looking at the clock instead of concentrating on what I was supposed to be doing. But a regular routine to the day gave me the skeleton of a structure and kept me moving forward.
I broke the day into time boxes arranged around meals and snack time. Then I could determine what I wanted/needed to include in each time box. Before Breakfast we got dressed. After Breakfast we did chores (make bed, brush teeth, comb hair), then schoolwork. After lunch was quiet time/nap time. The kids lay on their beds, listening to music, looking at/reading books, napping while I worked for a couple of hours. As they got older, they were allowed to play quietly in their room. etc. You probably don’t want to read about my routine, but you get the idea. The schoolwork might change from day to day, but it was always done during the same time box. And you know, the time boxes got to be good “fresh start” points to my day after a while. If one time box didn’t go as I had hoped, I looked at the next time box as a new beginning. One crazy time box did not have to mean a crazy entire day.”
I hope this encourages you and does not overwhelm you.
Janell
Miranda,
I hope you get your health/nutrition/sleep figured out. I have learned that you must take care of your own basic needs before being able to take care of others. I have a friend with fibromyalgia (sp?). She gets treatments periodically. I’m not sure how much they help. In general, she is tired and in pain more in cool weather and feels much better in warmer weather like the summer. So maybe run your a/c less so you will be warmer?
A few years ago, I read part of a book called Time Management from the Inside Out by Julie Morgenstern (same author as Organizing from the Inside Out). I admit that I still struggle in these areas, but a few things that helped are:
“Write it down, Add it up (time goals – break down larger tasks into smaller parts), Decide (Applying the 4 D’s), and Execute”
“4 D’s: Delete, Delay, Delegate, or Diminish into smaller tasks”
Delegate helped me. Could someone else in my family do this? It may not be done like I like it, but at least it would get done. Also Delay helped. Sometimes WE think it all has to be done right now. But it does not hurt to delay some things.
I think vitamin C is supposed to reduce inflammation. Many times, prayer is what got me through the day. HTH.
Sounds like you need some reinforcements:) We will all be praying I know, but there have been times in my life when I overcommitted, had the house, all the kids, home business etc etc..without the kind of pain you are experiencing. I know stress causes pain, its well documented..so, what can you do to alleviate the stress. hardstops are good. I recommend hiring some short term help if you can at all financially afford it. Could be a teenager to watch the littlies, or better yet, it is nothing short of amazing what a cleaning lady can do in four hours. You could get your bathrooms, kitchen, floors, and windows clean and sparkling for around 50-60 bucks..(out here anyhow, average around 11$/hour which is crazy cheap) Honestly there were a few times in my life when it was the best money I ever spent. I didn’t even worry about decluttering first, just got the house clean. Remember, if something has to give, it will usually be your health and that is way more important than pretty much any priority list. Your family needs you! Any other creative ways to manage time and juggle stress?
Miranda,
This is so embarrasing to admit, but last year I had a TERRIBLE time staying awake to homeschool my kiddos. If my rear end was in a chair more than 5 minutes, I was asleep! That becomes problematic when teaching someone to read. I beat myself up for quite a while over it. I ended up taking 2 hour naps in the middle of the day and feeling like I accomplished very little.
Lately, though, I’ve reviewed some research recommended to me by a friend about 5-HTP. I started taking it two weeks ago and I can’t believe the difference. I actually have energy!!! In fact, I don’t start my day dreaming about taking a nap. I found it in my natural food store in the supplement aisle. Many people with fibro take it and have great results.
I also have been trying to exercise. The dr. told me I needed to exercise at least 30 minutes a day 5 days a week. This is a bit daunting for someone who is so tired I can barely function and someone who’s schedule is tight… because of the nap I take! 🙂 However, I stopped taking the nap and exercising during my sleepiest time. It has been an amazing pick me up. As a strange side benefit, I actually work more efficiently when I do things (instead of slowly bumbling my way through) because I’m more alert. Taking 30 minutes actually gives me back much more time.
I’m sure your dr. will have great advice, but those are the things I’ve found helpful.
Thank you for all of your encouragment and advice, ladies! Unfortunately, there is no way that we will be able to hire someone to help out. A lot of the things that are happening right now are happening because we are working so hard to try to get out of debt! I am babysitting a baby on weekdays, trading work for farm fresh eggs and raw milk with which I am trying to learn to make a lot of our dairy products (this saves money on our groceries quite a bit), I am hanging all of our laundry to cut the electrical costs, I am making as many things from scratch as I can right now (we are wanting/needing to do this for health reasons anyway, but it just adds to the “learning new things” stress). I am making all of our own toiletries and cleaning products (again, for health reasons just as much as money savings). My hubby is working as hard as possible as well and couldn’t really do any more than he already is. then there is the “extra” that is happening at the moment as well. My brother is getting married in a few weeks and we are needing to travel about 12-14 hours away to be there. All of my kids are in the wedding and, even though my brother and fiance are very graciously paying for the outfits, I need to find the clothes that will work for the kids as well as figure out the hair and shoes etc. I am also making the wedding cake and so I am needing to be putting in hours to try to get that right as well (which is not working out as easily as other cakes have for me in the past). All three of my kids are going in for various tests because of health reasons, some being quite disconcerting, we are having trouble with even getting to these places because our van broke down! We simply cannot afford to take it in so hubby is working on it himself. Doing a great job, but it obviously takes longer and is more difficult without a shop. Also, my sister and her hubby are flying in from Guatemala in a week and staying with us until they can get to the wedding as well. With all of the other things happening, my laundry/craft room area has seemingly exploded! This is really the only spot that we can fit them, so this has to get reorganized before they get here. These are just not what I would call “ordinary daily work” that has simply piled up, etc. Some of these things need to be worked into a daily/weekly routine. All the cooking and kitchen work, for instance, but a lot of this will not need to be done by the time summer ends and I simply need to find a way to get them done! The pain and tiredness makes it a lot harder but it still needs to get done. I can’t see it staying like this for long term, but then I think, “when the wedding, trip, and doctor’s appointments are taken care of and done, by that time I will need to replace it with schooling!”.
Do any of you see a path through all of this? Is all this needs is a little more organization and planning? Maybe I should check out the health food store to see if there is something safe I can take right now that will help my body get through this season without knocking it completely off? There will have to be wait times for testing etc. just to find out if it is fibromyalgia. Never mind trying to find treatments.
I have taken to long on this post already, sorry for the rambling! And thank you all again for the encouragment.
-Miranda
Thanks, JenKeithley! Again, trying to get he post through while you were typing! I will look for 5-HTP as soon as I can get to my health food store.
I know where you are right now!! I have fibromyalgia and can completely relate to your stress. I’ve had periods that were similar to yours right now and the only thing that got me through it was adrenaline. But, speaking from experience, I always crashed when things settled down.
Give yourself time to adjust to what this means for you. What works best for me is having balance in my life, lol. Getting plenty of rest and balance in physical exercise…too little and I seem to get worse….too much and I have major flare ups. It sounds like this will be difficult for you right now, but you can maybe start making baby steps. Last year I was very sick, so I went searching for some help. I’ll try to remember the names of the books and let you know. I started taking several supplements and I feel SO much better. It hasn’t cured my fibromyalgia, but I’m not catching every illness that passes through and I have much more energy. I’ll see if I can list those out for you.
The Lord has used this to teach me SO MANY things, mainly dependence on Him and learning to relinquish control. Over the years, He has used it in unique ways in different stages of my life. I have been blessed.
The most frustrating times for me are when I think I’m doing everything right…diet, moderate exercise, rest, and then have a major flare-up…more learning to relinquish control. Mental fogginess can get pretty bad during flare-ups. Please remember this is the illness and will pass in time.
Having this diagnosis can focus you and you’ll find out what is really important to your family. You have to be more intentional about everything you do which can be a wonderful blessing to you and your family.
Just like you, earlier this year I became completely overwhelmed by all the new ideas I was learning and trying to incorporate into our family life. I couldn’t seem to get out of the cycle of trying harder and accomplishing nothing and getting frustrated and confused.
My husband has been reading the same books and watching the same DVD’s, but he has delegated the planning of our homeschool journey to me. He is always supportive, but relies on me to organize the family.
I didn’t know what to do so I stopped everything completely…stopped reading new books, stopped watching new training DVD’s and stopped trying to incorporate anything new. I just needed time for everything to be absorbed, allowing the Holy Spirit to order things in my life and to breathe.
My mind and spirit are now refreshed and I have a clearer picture of the vision for our family. I’ve already began incorporating habits and I’m in the middle of setting up goals and additional habits to develop. I’m excited to get this all planned out and to spend some time with dear hubby getting his input and blessing.
My biggest struggle is slowing down and not trying to incorporate too many things at one time. When I get overwhelmed by everything we’re not doing well yet, I just have to keep telling myself ONE HABIT AT A TIME. Sonja’s Laying Down the Rails DVD really put this in perspective for me. All of the SCM resources (including this forum) have really simplified things for me and clarified my thinking, easing the burden of making so many changes in my life.
Another thing I’ve learned is when it is God’s plan for my life, He will equip me with all I need to accomplish His tasks. Sometimes it’s easy, but sometimes it has felt almost impossible and only through His power did I succeed.
God will use this to HIS glory. Rejoice in the excitement of what that might be.
One other thing I had to learn is when its OK to ask for help. Sister you are overloaded – is there a church community you could call on to ask for help? In the past we have banded together here ( 4 or 5 ladies) to help one out who needed it and then what goes around comes around, there will be a time when you can pay back the favor in kind. I would ask for a ‘blitz’ team to get that room in shape for your relatives and then you can think about the cake and the clothes.. or maybe there could be help there as well? Darn I wish I lived close to you…
I second HeidiS, pray about finding some volunteer help. After I had my last baby, I had a couple of home schooled teenagers help out for a while. It is a blessing for them to serve as well as a blessing for me to have the extra hands.
Someone mentioned recently in a thread the “good, better, best” principle. Seems like maybe you need to triage some of your tasks right now. Obviously you and your husband know your situation better then me but several things that occured to me reading your post….
It seems like in trying to save money (a worthy goal) you are not factoring in your time and physical limitations. Is the time and energy it takes to haul wet baskets of laundry outside, hang them, go back out and take them down really worth the few cents a load you are saving?
Natural cleaning products and toiletries are also a great thing to look in to…..but is now really the time? Buying off-brand and generics for a few dollars while maybe not “ideal” would save you so much time and energy shopping, mixing, storing, researching, draining precious mental and physical resources from you.
There are so many good things to pursue in life but I think by far the most needful or “best” thing to your family now is a healthy momma. There will be other seasons of life…..you have time to learn and grow……but the “cost” to you and your family if you wear yourself down is so high!
Stress is a huge factor in health both short term and longterm.
I’m with Heidi, wish we were there to take the kids for the afternoon, help with the craft room and bring you dinner :o)
Praying for wisdom for you and your husband.
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