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When Ur parents aren't supportive?
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So let’s chat.. last night I told my mom that I was pregnant (with #7). Here’s how it went.. my dh thought he was being funny (he said he was sorry later cause I didn’t know this part) and went on facebook and left my mom a note saying we’ve been wanting to tell her something but they haven’t been to church in 2 weeks? (another story in it self).
She calls and says you can’t leave me hanging what did you want to tell me? I didn’t know what this was about and found dh and he smiled and told me quickly. Anyway while he’s doing this my mom says “don’t tell me your pregnant again?” Very sarcasticly (sp?) and like honestly you can’t be. I say yes, she asks again stating really? I say yes….. then the longest silence I have ever heard. Then asks very bluntly and rudely “it was an accident (pause) or really did you plan it?” Her phone beeps to say there’s an incoming call and she says well someones calling I have to go. Hangs up.
Mind you I have never had a great loving relationship with her. She has never been full of encouragement or praise. I new this would not go over well and have been putting it off. But now it’s done and I didn’t sleep well last night.
I know .. it don’t really matter me and dh are very happy. We feel blessed and in awe of this but why couldn’t she just suck it up and simply say “congrats”. That’s all very simple?
I just needed to vent. Sorry and thanks for listening. Does anyone else’s parents just not agree with you on things and make it very well known, if so then you know how much I just long for approvel from her. I mean when you have 6 you get enough of the outside world and people saying thingss everywhere we go. I don’t need it in our own family.
Ahh. enough sorry and thanks Misty
Misty, hugs, that is the way the world is. I’m sorry. But I wanted to send out my support and excitement your way! Congratulations! I think that is amazing and wonderful news. :o) I hope to be able to make it to #7 one day. I’m working on #4 right now. ;o) My baby is due in July. When is your due date? As for your mother…best advice I can give you (and I promise that I can relate to you on this) is to forgive her and love her despite how she lets you down. I know it is hard. I know it hurts that she doesn’t understand you or support you. Our Father in heaven knows you completely and loves you more deeply than any person can. I know you know that. I think we all need to be reminded of that often though. Many, many hugs to you, sweet sister! ~kim
Congratulations Misty! I’m so very happy for your family.
I’m wondering if her response as your mother may be based in fear – fear that you will be overwhelmed, that you won’t have enough energy, financial resources, etc. Fear tends to push while love guides.
We have been exercising to overcome any despising words said toward us by giving a verbal blessing (Matthew 5:44). (ie Asking God to empower your mother with qualities like gentleness and love). Our choice is to be offended and resentful or to obey the Lord and offer a blessing and heart-felt forgiveness. You may be able to free your mother from the prison of fear (or something else) with the power of your verbal blessings.
The Lord’s name is powerful and so is His word – and those spoken through our mouths.
May God bless you with His peace.
Richele
I’m due Oct.
Yes I’m sure my mom is worried, she’s always worried about something BUT it’s always do to her own fears. We have never had to go to her or anywhere else to get things. I am frugal by nature and that bothers her. She lives at the department store and I love the thrift shop. She buys all things new and I buy most things used.
She has never understood why a husband of only one sibling and a daughter of NO siblings would want a large family. She doesn’t see our love for the Lord, she doens’t understand it. I have never asked her to but just to be happy for us.
Thank you for your encouragement, I will put it to heart. I will seek the Lord and his guidence. Thanks
I understand you totally. I have a similar relationship with my mom. I only have 3 children, but I she’ll tell people in front of me and the kids that she never cared whether she had any grandkids or not. My parents haven’t been to church in 18 years. They always plan family stuff on Sundays, so I had to skip church. About a year ago I put my foot down and told them if they plan things on Sunday it has to be after 1:30 or I am not coming. The first few months I missed Easter, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day with my family before they started planning around Church times.
What helps me the most is knowing Jesus loves me exactly how I need, he accepts me even if no one else will. In my quiet time I have been studying and 2 scriptures came to mind for you. Matthew 11:29 and 1Peter 2:21
Yeah, I got a similarish response from my mom when I told her I was expecting #4 (and also when I told her #3.) If that isn’t enough, I have adult step-kids that never react well when told that we are expecting a baby. And now we have enough kids to be getting that type of response from friends too…. sigh
We are living in a fallen world that is beginning to look down on family. To all of you who are continuing to bear children KEEP IT UP!! Those of us who can’t are cheering you on!!!!!!!!!
I am the mum of one set of twins and for medical reasons could not have any more. All of you with larger families, hold your heads high and know that there are those of us who only have a couple of kids who support you and wish you well. I am happy with my family size, but had more come I would have been delighted. God and family are the most important in this world of ours, be proud, be happy and try not to let others hurt you. Pray for them and ask for God to bless them too. I am thrilled for all of you who write and say you are having a baby, whether it is a first or a tenth – each one is a blessing and a gift.
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