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tv viewing…what do you do?
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I know this can be a hot topic, but I’m looking for examples of what you all do. I won’t even go into how much my kids have watched, but I am wanting to seriously scale back. I’m including computer games here, too. I am not of the opinion that tv is evil, but I know we need to cut back. Sooo, what kind of limits do you all set? I’d like to get some ideas of what you all do, and then decide how I’d like to proceed. My husband has given me 6 months to do as I like, and set whatever tv/computer rules I’d like for our kids…and then see how they respond to it. I’m actually pretty excited about it, and hoping we can start some good lifelong habits!
Just to be clear, I’m talking about tv/computer for our kids. We used to, but now we don’t watch. We decided against television reception about six years ago. What a great change! There are so many other wonderful things to do. We do watch educational videos, and maybe a fun movie once a month in winter time.
Computer – we do not use games except educational ones. Each of the kids does ten minutes of typing daily with Typing Instructor Deluxe, but we set it for no games. They used to use them, but I honestly don’t think it helped their typing skills any. If it did, I wouldn’t be against it. We use the Seterra geography game (free online), also ten minutes a day. We have a couple of really nice piano learning software programs, used about twenty minutes, two or three days a week.
Our oldest son is using the Alpha Omega Lifepac computer learning software for Microsoft Word and Excel. He uses it several times a week, just to get the basics of working with the programs.
That’s it!
Gaeleen
I was at a point like you are right now a few month ago concerning my DD 6 and DS 4. To be honest I did not really come up with a plan. I was just realizing the reason my children watched TV so much was because I did not offer them better alternatives. So it was on me to do my part and get them more engaged in other things. We bought a stack of board games and puzzles, cleaned their rooms out leaving them with just a few choices to play with. Before they were just overwhelmed with the amount of toys and unable to pick one. We have now an art easel in the living room and I make sure the train table (also in the living room) is equipped and reorganized on a regular basis. In addition books are easy accessible and displayed. I also try to engage them more in daily tasks like cooking, cleaning and gardening, listening to music CDs. On the weekends we are always out and about, attending festivals, exploring our local area or meet up with friends and of course church activities.
So naturally there is just not much time for TV and computer games anymore. My DS is now down to around 7-8 hours a week (yes, it was THAT bad before!;)), my DD maybe 2-3 hours a week.
I know this may not work in any situation, just wanted to let you know what worked for us;). Hope you are successful:)
2 years ago we did a complete tv fast for a year, cold turkey. I wanted the girls to get out of the habit of watching tv. We were watching a couple hours in the morning (cartoons) then after naps a little PBS, then at night videos like Little House on the Prairie. i used it as a babysitter, I admit. Once I found SCM and found out cartoons are twaddle (I always wondered why I didn’t like them!), I said no more tv cartoons. We sat down and had a discussion of how tv is a complete waste of time. We are missing out on doing other things….game night would be less important than watching a tv show. So we did a fast to get us out of the habit. The Lord really used it to show me other sin in my heart, especially the evil shows I was watching! I now despise anything Hollywood. I never regret giving it up that year! Then after a year we slowly let it back in our lives, maybe once or twice per week. VIdeos only….fast forward to today. I allow a few nights per week of videos–mostly educational quality. My girls love animals so this is easy. We check out a lot from the library. We never watch tv during the day. It’s usually by 8:30 p.m. or so if all other things are done. Only 30 mins total. Then it’s bedtime. Computer time is also included. They probably only play on certain websites once per week. They can email grandparents but playing games isn’t a priority. It’s all tv viewing IMHO. My girls as a result will say let’s take a night of no tv tonight and play a game, etc. 🙂
HTH!
Tara
We don’t watch a lot of TV/movies or computer time. The kids weren’t even allowed (as much as possible) to watch TV until they were over 2 and even then it was extremely sparingly.
We do not get any TV channels. So our only option is movies. We don’t even watch those every week. Some weeks we many not see any and some weeks we might see one or two. If it is nice outside we spend the time outside instead. When it is yucky out we are more likely to watch something. Then it is generally educationally. Sometimes we watch something else. Like last night we watched Little House on the Prairie.
If the kids are misbehaving, being mean/pest to eachother, disrespectful, etc. there is absolutely NO TV that day. TV is a fun/reward thing to do and I won’t treat misbehavior with it.
As for the computer. Sometimes they do a Math U See drill on the computer. Other than that we have Reader Rabbit that they can play. But that is ONLY something that can be done after school is completed and again only when there has been good behavior and cheerfulness. Then there max time is generally 20 minutes. They probably only play a couple of times a month. I usually wait for them to ask instead of offering it and they are usually busy with other things.
We don’t have a tv in our home, but we get dvd’s from the library–very strict about what kind. We only watch G rated movies including any movies my husband and I watch without the kids. We figure that if we don’t want our kids to see something, it isn’t suitable for us either. I guess we limit our tv/computer naturally because we don’t watch anything with any kind of swearing or immodesty. And we don’t like shows or movies where there is constant arguing and disrespect. That really cuts out a lot of shows/movies to choose.
I’ll give you an example. We were watching Bewitched on tvland.com for a while, and we realized that Samantha always breaks her promise not to do witchcraft and Darrin always yells about it but wants her to do it. Also, his boss is always acting like its ok to look at women and not be truly faithful to his wife.
It sounds like I think they are real, but I’ve noticed that when you don’t watch much tv you don’t want the tv characters to go against what you want your family to do. I think it’s good. Anyway, we decided not to watch it any more for those reasons and also they started playing a condom commercial, so I drew the line. No more tvland.com.
We don’t allow them on the internet except with us to look at something for school together. This happens almost never. Our kids have never been video game people. Probably because my husband and I haven’t been interested in them. Also, whenever anyone asked if they could give these to the kids as gifts, we said no.
These habits have really paid off. Our son that’s almost 18 isn’t interested in spending time on the computer or watching tv, and I am so grateful.
I think your 6 month experiment will leave you wondering where you found the time to spend on these things anyway. That’s what happened to us. We used to spend way too much time. I have to admit, if we don’t watch it, we can become interested in too many movies still.
I have noticed that the kids are far less interested, the less time they spend. Like when I had to stop drinking milk (allergy) and start only drinking water. I wanted more water than ever. Replace tv/computer time with something you want them to desire more, and they will.
Best of luck!
DH and I grew up watching whatever we wanted to on TV, at whatever time, for however long we wanted to. Since marriage we have gradually decreased our TV viewing….when I quit work a few months ago, the cable bill had to go, so we have netflix instead of cable. We don’t have a new digital TV, so that means no local TV anymore either, and what a difference in our lives! We do watch things on hulu or netflix occassionally, but CHOOSING what we watch vs. randomly flipping channels has been great.
My children are almost 3 and 5, and they watch an average of 45 min-1hr/day. Some days they don’t watch any TV and other days (like when one is sick or at grandma’s house) they may watch a little more. Although this is more than I believe CM would recommend, I already see how much more they learn from their environment and others because they don’t watch TV all the time like DH and I did growing up.
I don’t let the kids know I am “clocking” their minutes in front of the screen, I just tell them “no shows today” if we have something to get done. If they beg to watch more after 1-2 short shows, I just say its time to do something else.
Haven’t got to the computer stage yet….I’m not in a hurry to introduce them to the wonderful world of internet except to look of something of interest to them for educational purposes.
Kim
So my dh and I also came from families that watch TV. Even today if you go over to my parents house it’s on during dinner and with just the two of them there is a TV in every room.
I wouldn’t mind getting rid of the TV but dh still enjoyes watching certain things, and to be honest after a long day a little humor to me is ok. I know others will frown apon that but that’s us.
Summer – we watch little to no TV. We are outside from sun up to sun down. If we watch anything as someone else said it’s because it’s been a couple rain days in a row. Spring/Fall – again we are outside as much as possible but we bring back Sunday family movie night. That’s our family time after dinner for an hour. We don’t always finish a movie, so it might get finished another night or more than likely the following sunday. Winter – AHH I hate to admit it but we have to schedule nightly activities so we don’t watch a movie every night. Now, also my older ones are allowed to stay up a bit later and they will watch things that are approved by us before bed. We don’t watch TV during the day really at all any time of the year. It usually is an evening thing.
I’m sure it’s because we are exausted at night and then sometimes it just happens not really planned. Other times my dh will just look at me and say we need to relax and I need to laugh.
As far as computer/video games. We let our kids play 15 minutes each (that’s times 6 kids) on Saturday. If we are home they get to do it, if we are out they miss it. They are fine with the 15 min. because we had problems with it and they had it taken away totally for 6 months. So now the 15 min is a blessing to them. And dad likes to get on the floor and challenge them on race cars Saturday mornings while I cook.
I know we are not far to one side or another. We tried to find some balance. But we all love a good movie and we feel, with well supervised parents, that TV can find a place. But it will never be at the “top” or even the middle. If we ever parted with it, that would be fine with me. Oh, we don’t have any dish/cable. Just what ever the antenna picks up. I mean we can watch Jepordy, Wheel of Fortune and Cooking shows and learn from each of these!
Good luck, this is a tough one. Everyone’s family is so different. You just have to find the right amount for your home. Misty
Although my two 7yo boys are grounded from TV this week, they get 30 minutes a day of electronics…TV or DS, their choice. (Saturdays they can have an hour, although they often decide to turn it off after a few minutes.) Of course they are very limited as to what they may watch but 30 minutes is it. They decided at one point they would try to be clever. If one wanted to watch 30 minutes of TV at one time, then the other would come along anc choose his 30 minutes at another time, they could each really get an hour! Haha…no… I have seen such benefits since we started this. It’s amazing what they can do when they’re not being drugged by that thing. I hate TV. I don’t even like to be in the room when it’s on, but I live with 4 males, so I can’t throw it out altogether or they would kick me out.
We don;t have a set time limit but I don;t usually let them watch till near the end of the day. They watch from 0-2 hours a day though the 2hr end of the spectrum woudl be unusual. I’d say they average an hour a day. We record all the shows they watch with Tivo so they never see commercials and can only pick from the shows we have chosen. They watch some PBS shows, Dora, and older cartoons like Tom and Jerry and Looney Tunes. We also get Netflix videos sometimes. They watch the old Little House on the Prairie series that way.
Thank you all for your responses! I enjoyed hearing what you all do. My thought at the moment is to have a family night once a week, and we can alternate between playing a game and watching something as a family every other week. Oh, and my kids love to make movies. They either act it out themselves or they use their legos and Little People to make movies. They then would watch their creation. We’re talking about 10-15 minutes at the most. And I think the creativity in putting it together far outwieghs any negatives with watching that tiny bit! Thanks again…I’m going to look back over all the posts one more time!
Hi alice!
I found these past discussions and thought you might enjoy reading them as well (if you haven’t already):
http://simplycharlottemason.com/scmforum/topic/getting-rid-of-tv
http://simplycharlottemason.com/scmforum/topic/tv-and-bad-behavior
Our famiy personally limits TV viewing pretty strictly. One evening a week is designated “Family Movie Night”. The children also get to watch a just-for-fun video on Friday nights when Daddy is working late. That is all the TV time they get, except of course for some of the school resources we use such as Math-U-See and Signing Time DVDs. We do not do cartoons (except for animated movies) at all, as I have yet to find one that I think is ok for our family.
I am so thankful we broke the TV habit several years ago. It really is surprising how much a family can do together or separately when the TV is off. My house is cleaner, our meals are better, the children are better behaved, and my marriage is stronger; and I honestly attribute a lot of that to the fact that we’re paying attention to each other rather than to pictures on a screen.
My husband and I like to keep our family’s long-term goals in mind when deciding what to have or not have in our home. When the rubber met the road, we saw that TV really didn’t serve a purpose or have a place in the grand scheme of things. We want our children to have wonderful memories of their parents spending quality time with them, not memories of watching TV every evening. And a marriage isn’t really strengthened when a TV is on, although hubby and I do enjoy watching a movie in bed now and then. I think each family has to determine what’s important and what has to be sacrificed in order to focus on their goals and dreams. For us, TV was a hard habit to break; however, looking back on it, I won’t ever regret “sacrificing” something that made my family better in the long run.
Blessings as you make your decision,
Lindsey
I alternate between two things.
First, I put the TV in the closet and the only “TV” we get is on the computer watching DVDs. I’ll do this for months at a time and find that we just don’t watch movies very often. If we do, it’s one of our “educational” DVDs like Driving Through History or Jeff Corwin or Leap Frog. I do this when I’m all gung-go to get rid of the TV and/or I’m feeling like they’re having a bad attitude about whatever. Sometimes I just get frustrated that they complain about chores or school or having to be outside or I find that all their play is centered on a TV show, not imagination. When that happens, TV goes in the closet.
Second option is to have the TV out of the closet and then they can only watch movies (no TV reception) after school when mom gives permission, which is hardly ever. They might have 30 to 60 minutes of TV time a week. I have no set limit, it’s just what I feel is appropriate for the extra time we have and their ‘heart’ attitudes. Once in a while I’ll let my 4-yr-old watch a Leap Frog or Between the Lions DVD during school while I’m trying to work with his older brothers without interruptions.
I’d like to get rid of the TV altogether (we still have the computer if we want to watch something), but my husband doesn’t agree so we compromise with the above.
We don’t do computer games at all. I do have an iPod Touch that I let them play games on (15 minutes a day per boy) but they are all educational apps like practicing their Hebrew letters or the times tables or making change, etc.
Heather
I’ll tell you my story. 🙂
We went on vacation to Colorado last fall. Prior to this time, the girls watched about 1 video per day. They varied in length from 30 minutes to 90 minutes. Usually it was 30, but not always. We LOVE Colorado and had a great time on our trip, hiking, being outside, etc. When we got home, the girls didn’t ask about the tv because it had been several days since we had watched it. I noticed two things:
1 – The house was quieter. ALOT quieter.
2 – I head almost NO moans of “What can I do right now?” This had become a phrase in our house that was consant and one that made my blood pressure spike.
My dh and I spoke about it and we decided just to not turn it back on, not bring it up. My oldest daughter asked on about the second day, “May we watch something?” After distracting her from the idea and saying no several times, I finally pulled her aside and explained that I have noticed everything seems calmer when there is no tv on, asked her if she noticed it too, etc. etc. Her response just about floored me. She said, “Yes, you are right. And it’s more fun this way too.”
After that, I noticed that she was really the only one who ever asked about it. The younger two never really did. So, we went cold turkey for a few weeks with zero tv watching. Now, we do turn it on occasionally to watch an episode of Liberty Kids and we’ve watched a movie together here and there. But, my standard went from “minutes per day” to “never”. When your standard is never, even cheating that standard for some eduational programming or family fun will be miniscule.
My dh and I, consequently, stopped turning it on after the kids go to bed. (We used to watch 30 min every night). I am shocked at how much better we feel, how much reading we are doing and how much better our family is thriving. I am praying that our next step will be to move the tv to the basement so there is none on this floor at all. I feel like it just stares at us and is ugly. LOL I want this to be my husband’s idea, though, and not mine. 🙂
My advice is to go cold turkey for a while…until people stop asking about it daily. If you just limit it, it is still “there”…the thing they want to do and “might” get to do if they ask often enough. I found it was easier to add in occasionally after omitting it for a time.
I like your advice, 3littlegirls. It may not seem like much, but this is our 4th day of absoloutely nothing! It feels like quite an accomplishment! 🙂 I agree that sometimes “never” can be easier than “minutes a day”, for us at least. We also have a Wii, and I think I’ll let them on it for a 30 min time maybe once a week. I have a feeling though, that it will only cause trouble. With a movie or show it’s easy to see that it’s over. With a Wii, it’s not so easy to see an ending and I forsee them complaining about it. So if I see that they are not satisfied with my time limit, it may have to leave our house!
As a side note, my 2 1/2 yo who I’ve mentioned on here several times has been MUCH easier to handle now that the tv has been off, and he’s had more time outside. We’re getting tested here…as it’s been raining for days and more rain is to come, but I’ve held out and no tv!
I appreciate everyone’s encouraging comments! Thanks so much!!
Just to be clear, I’m talking about tv/computer for our kids. 
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