Name: CHEC Rocky Mountain Homeschool Conference
Start: 2025-06-12T00:00:00-05:00
End: 2025-06-14T23:59:59-05:00
Location: Denver, CO

Tagged: cable, Off topic, television, TV

This topic has 7 replies, 7 voices, and was last updated 14 years, 4 months ago by Kristen.

Viewing 8 posts - 1 through 8 (of 8 total)

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January 19, 2011 at 12:39 am
ruth
Participant
I didn’t want to highjack the other thread about TV and bad behavior, so I am starting this new one. I would LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to toss our TV out the second story window. My DH however is thoroghly addicted to the small screen (one of the reason I would love to get rid of it!) and thinks getting rid of it is extreme.    My son does not exhibit bad behavior exactly, but he does get a little on the crazy side. This and the attention issue brought up by Lindsey in the other post are my main reasons for wanting to unplug. Since my DH wont consent to tossing the tv, my only option seems to be to keep the kids with me downstairs while my husband is upstairs watching tv. But I miss my husband and so do the kids. They want to spend time with their daddy so they go into the tv room; but then they are exposed to what my husband is watching, which is not child friendly. I know one thought would be to have my husband watch tv for a certain amount of time and then have family time, but my husband is always “just tired and wants to relax and watch tv.”
I know it probably sounds bad, but we both don’t know what to do with the kids for the 2 1/2 hours between dinner (6) until bedtime (8:30).  Durring the day we do chores, run errands, play outside, play some (usually only about an hour), and of course school work. I do want to start evening readings which I think will last 20-30 minutes and we could play some more, but I also have been with the kids all day and I want to relax and spend time with my husband.
I would really appriciate some advise on how to turn off the tv and have a nice evening as a family. Please be gentle.
Ruth
January 19, 2011 at 12:50 am
my3boys
Participant
I’m running out the door right now so I will try to post when I get back:)
January 19, 2011 at 1:32 am
Dawn
Participant
Would your husband respond well to asking if 1 night a week you could do a game night? Maybe easing him into it would be helpful. Have you asked him if he would mind you reading a book together? Other than that pray and be patient. Maybe he will come around.
I don’t know how old your children are, but are there some craftsy things they could do on their own with limited supervision? Our dining room table is right next to our family room and it is easy to put the children at the table and sit on the couch and talk together. Another idea would be puzzles. That can easily be done together as a family.
Our evenings are spent cleaning up dinner together as a family (well, a lot of times that means me and the children while dh relaxes), then devotions, a bit of play if there is time and getting ready for bed. I guess our dinnertime usually does run a bit long though. There isn’t much time after dinner until bedtime.
January 19, 2011 at 1:47 am
LindseyD
Participant
Ruth,
I love your honesty and openness! I will try my best to give you some help, if I can.
1. Is your husband a Christian? If not, then you can ask him to turn off the TV and give you and the children his attention, but he might refuse; and that has to be something you’re prepared for. If he’s lost, then he’s acting like a lost person. You can’t really expect anything different. That means he’s going to watch what lost people watch, act like lost people act, talk like lost people talk, etc. If he is a Christian, then you could (and should) bring this to his attention from a biblical point of view. While it is wonderful and necessary for men to have other men to whom they can be accountable, there is no one on Earth who knows your husband like you do. As wives, we are called to be helpmeets to our husbands, and that would include helping them to see truth and live righteously according to it. I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase “I’m not his Holy Spirit”, meaning you can’t cause conviction or change. But you can bring light into darkness, and hopefully he will know the truth and be set free from what you called his addiction.
2. Supposing your hubby continues to refuse to turn off the TV, you have a responsibility to your children to make sure they’re not watching or hearing what’s on the TV, especially if you feel it is inappropriate. If this means you have to keep yourself and the children in another part of the house, then unfortunately, that’s what you’ll have to do. We have never considered time in front of the TV “family time”. That’s “TV time”. Staring at a TV screen and not interacting with each other can never be “family time”, in my opinion. You and the children can have your family time in another part of the house, and maybe your husband will catch on that he’s missing out on something way more valuable than the TV.
3. As far as what to do between supper and bedtime, that’s not too hard. We alternate between completely family-centered evenings and evenings where we each do whatever we want. For our family-centered evenings, we have a read-aloud going, of course. We also like to play games, such as dominoes, Guess Who?, and bingo. About once a week, usually on a Saturday or Sunday evening, we’ll watch an episode of Little House on the Prairie, which lasts an hour, and make sure to get lots of cuddling in to make it more family-centered. For the evenings that we don’t have a family activity, the kids will play games by themselves, build with Legos, race cars around their rooms, play paper dolls in the living room, or whatever they didn’t get to finish playing earlier in the day. We have lots of play time in our house, way more than an hour a day. My husband owns an online business, so sometimes he uses some evening time to catch up on any work he needs to do. I enjoy sewing, so I’ll work on whatever project I’ve got going. We’re still together, without a TV on, but we’re not entertaining one another, so to speak. It’s just a pleasant time of enjoying ourselves, together, if that makes sense.
When TV was a habit in our house, I always had this looming sense of guilt. I knew something wasn’t right, but I couldn’t figure out how to change it. That’s why it wouldn’t work for us to “wean off TV”. There would have been too many times when we would’ve said “Just this once” or “It’s been a few days, so go ahead and turn it on” or some other excuse. We had to just get rid of it and not look back. Thank goodness I had a husband who saw the value in our time as a family over time in front of “a vicious, life-sucking box” (as pastor Matt Chandler calls the TV).
All that said, if you really want your hubby’s heart to change, there’s nothing like a gentle, quiet spirit and lots and lots of prayer. In the meantime, it will be good for you and your children to begin having family time with or without him. Pretty soon, I bet he’ll see what he’s missing out on.
Blessings,
Lindsey

January 19, 2011 at 1:56 am
2flowerboys
Participant
We are now working on puzzles. Except we are working on different ones! But we are all together at the table. We do help each other out too.
My children love to read to dad also. It doesn’t take too much time. And everyone gets to enjoy one another!
I know that some might not like this. But this is something else we do as a family at night. We play Wii. We laugh, joke, root each other on and have a great time. We limit this time to one hour. We play Wii fitness, Wii play, and Wii sports together. The last has bowling, golf, tennis. boxing, etc. So we get to challange ourselves as well as try to do better each time. We don’t allow pity or bad competition! I believe this is not like video games per se. You get active, compete, and develop skillfulness. And dad/guys usually love these things! Sometimes I join them and sometimes I get my “alone” time. Or both, I play and then I leave to do something myself. It is expensive to purchase..we saved up gift cards. And we don’t do it all the time. We just started playing in the winter. In the warm months, we are usually outside!
Also, is there an old show that dad and the kids can watch together? Then discuss? It is not helping with getting rid of the T.V. though! This might be something that can be done once a week. I don’t know how old your kids are. but Leave It To Beaver is a good one. You can discuss the situations that Wally and Beaver get themselves in. If they are older, The Waltons is a good pure family show.
If your kids are old enough, Scrabble would be a fun challenging game for all. Sometimes we play for days leaving the board out. Chess and Checkers are good too!
I know your hubby is tired and doesn’t want to think or maybe move! I know that your tired too! Just like we all are at night. You just have to make an effort at doing things with the family. The boys and dad love to wrestle, play hide and seek, and they even have rubber band fights! (not hurting each other) Dads like to be active, even when tired, it makes them feel young and like a “boy” again! If you have boys, maybe they can get “active” with dad! I am not an expert on girls though, sorry! Well I am really not an expert on boys..LOL…I just know more about them!
T.V. is a way to tune out the rest of the world and not think about anything! We didn’t have it for a long time. This past yr my hubby so wanted to get the basic so he could watch sports. We dvr the sports so we don’t get exposed to the awful commercials. And it does not take long to fast forward through until it is finished! He is not fanatical –thank goodness. But I miss the time we did have trying to find fun stuff to do! We don’t watch any junk either. Once in a while I will watch a cooking show. I am looking forward to the end of the contract! The boys have started to be interested in basketball or golf that dad is watching. Dad loves that! Maybe your kids might like to watch some sports if dad likes too.
I know you asked for ways to cut t.v. but thought I would help include it and your kids if need be. It is definately not the best!
Hope this helps some!
January 19, 2011 at 4:15 am
ruth
Participant
Lindsey – Is my husband a christian? That’s a question I can’t give a diffinative answer to.  I believe only God can know such things.  But my heart says no. He is a cradle catholic, and although he has all the head knowledge of Christ (he even went to a catholic college and has taken all the history and theology classes) I don’t believe there is much more to his faith. I could go on a rant about how he preoccupies himself with the children durring church. And lest anyone take offence, I myself have come to embrace the fullness of the catholic faith.  Ufortunatley there are those in all faiths that have grown up in their particular faith but do not fully embrace it.
I would like to do a family game night as well. This is one area my husband has been stubborn about long before I met him. Growing up in his own family he did all he could to get out of their family game night. I do mean to begin the tradition for my children at least. On a lot of these points its just a matter of sitting down and deciding what night will be game night, movie night, free night, etc.
As far as only playing an hour a day, I meant that as my sitting down and expressly playing with them. They do play much by themselves throughout the day. I give my son(5 1/2) the option of helping with the chores or playing by himself. He has his own chores as well, but here I refer to the household chores such as cooking, organizing, scrubbing bathrooms, etc.
I would love to be able to sit down in the evening and knit or sew or read. I guess I will just have to work with the children to tell them it’s mommies quiet time.
2flowerboys- There are many programs we do enjoy as a family. We like watching Mythbuster (DS’s favorite is when stuff blows up), Man vs. Wild, and it is really cute to watch my DS and DH watch the hunting channel togeather. I don’t mind having some tv/movie time but it all seems to add up. I want to have a movie night with good classic non-twaddly movies. Perhaps we could do this less often to cut down on how much time is spent in front of the screen.
It’s late now and I don’t know if I am making much sence. It’s very hard to type correctly. I am weening the baby (18 mths) from nighttime nursing so I have not gotten much sleep. Although the point is to get more sleep.
Ruth
January 19, 2011 at 6:23 am
Wings2fly
Participant
I find that I really enjoy our bedtime read aloud time. Sometimes we run over the 30 minutes. I then spend time with my husband. Since we homeschool, the kids can go to bed at the same time each night and I don’t worry about what time they wake up in the morning, within reason. Of course I don’t know your husband, but there is some marketing and psychology involved here. If you have new plans for the evening, you will have to really talk it up big and you and your kids be very excited about it. That may draw his interest more than if you tell him he has to play game night and has to keep the tv off. (Men don’t like to be told what to do. lol) You may have to come up with different names for your “game night” since he didn’t care for it as a child. Maybe hold a show and tell or concert or something the kids can do to let dad know what they’ve been learning.   Ask your kids for ideas so they will be excited about it. You may have to really get creative. It is your choice whether to cut tv or not. My husband says he is “nice” because we don’t have cable or satellite but have antenea and Netflix instead. That does cut down on the “junk” and helps the budget. But I still wish there were less tv. Since I know I can’t totally get rid of the tv, I try to make suggestions for family friendly shows and if it is Netflix or a dvd, there are hardly any damaging commercials. I also posted on the other thread about tv/ computer. Hope that helps.
January 19, 2011 at 6:32 am
Kristen
Participant
If you haven’t done this already, I would talk to your husband about not wanting the kids to see the adult only shows on the t.v. while they are awake. It really is amazing at how desensitized we have become to what is on the t.v. Have your husband take a pen and paper and jot down every “adult content” thing that comes up in a night that he is watching, it is horrifying. That being said, can he wait till they go to bed and then watch his shows? THats what we do, with a DVR, (by the way, they are coming out with a “thing” that does everything a dvr does but you buy it like a dvd player and it is yours to keep, not from the cable people) We have plans to purchase one soon so we can say bye bye to dish network.