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Trying to let "Understood Betsy" change me…
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We are currently reading Understood Betsy as a read alone — this is my 3rd time with this book, but the 1st time for this group of kids. 🙂 I LOVE THIS BOOK! And everytime I read it or think about it, I think of how I want to be more like Aunt Abigail and Uncle Henry and Cousin Ann. I’ve gotten better over the years, to be sure, but we don’t live in a home or world where there’s a lot of work with your hands, manual labor, discover-it-yourself types of living…I feel like I have to purposely create those opportunities (maybe that’s part of the problem, lol). Even just having my kids play outside on their own, in our own (unfenced) yard, feels like a feat sometimes when I hear stories and reports of abductions, peeping toms in the neighborhood, etc. Obviously the kids need to be safe, of course, but you get what I’m saying. In fact, my kids are outside for hours sometimes and seriously no one else in the neighborhood does that — in fact, other kids are barely outside at all. I’m aware of them, but not WITH them all the time, if that makes sense. But we don’t have “cool” property to explore — fields and trees to climb and a brook running through it. It’s just a yard.
Does anyone struggle with this, or have successes to share? Some household chores — sorting laundry, washing and folding; cleaning toilets, sinks, mirrors; vacumming, dusting; making beds, etc. — that’s something they work on from the time they are pretty young. I’m not great at letting them do stuff in the kitchen, probably because I struggle with cooking/baking just in general, lol. So maybe that’s something we could really work on.
We don’t really have much a yard to speak of, so aside from raking leaves (and only from 2-3 trees) there isn’t much to do. No garden, landscaping, etc., and the younger ones aren’t physically tall enough yet to even mow the grass because it isn’t self-propelled.
And when it comes to soemthing like decluttering or downsizing before a move, etc., then it seems like it’s more just stuff I have to do on my own because decisions have to be made or boxes have to be puzzle packed together to optimize the moving process.
Why is this so hard?? Would love to hear ideas for how to be like my literary role models. 🙂
I have struggled with this after we temporarily (read: 2 years!) moved to a neighborhood vs. living in the country. And I have to say that having experienced both, there really is just a lot more to do for kids who can live on a bigger patch of land.
That isn’t to say you can’t make nature study, hands-on things work….but it has to be MUCH more intentional. There are just things that come instrinsically and, well, naturally, about living on land, surrounded by the seasons, animals, etc. There are chores and a great work ethic that come along with taking care of a larger property and animals, as well.
That is why we are building our ‘barndominium’ on our acreage this summer. I would rather downgrade our house than have my kids miss out on living in the country. It may be temperary, or maybe not, but I know the experience of being in touch with God’s creation will benefit them more than a fancy house or ‘stuff’ ever will!
I am going to leave it to the experts here to give you great ideas for getting hands on and out there with your kiddos…I just wanted to chime in and say that I struggle in this area, too. I look forward to hearing creative ideas for how to appreciate a simpler, more in touch life in suburbia or an urban environment!
I am no expert, but I do have a couple/few ideas to share with you. One is to be on the lookout for ways to serve others. If your children are small, you should probably not actually go out and ‘look’ for oportunities, but let God bring them your way and then get your children involved with meeting the need. God knows your heart and your desire for your children and as you pray, He will send just the right situations your way.
Another idea is to look around your house and find a problem that needs a solution. This has been a huge help in our home. That can be very hands-on as you help your children learn to fix things, set up systems for things that do not run smoothly, give them authority over small areas of the home, etc.
Finding something that interests them, in my case I always hoped for something that did not have gills or feet, and investing a bit in that can lead to much practical learning. We picked up a book, Crockett’s Indoor Garden, and my daughter had a great time with that. We also put the word out once that we were interested in stamps and received so many! When I am on top of things, my children choose a stamp periodically and we research whatever is on it to the nth degree if possible. We learned through this activity that we never want to breed silk worms again, but it was interesting! Library books are great resources, but I found that we’d get a book one was interested in and it would sit around until it was (over)due. Those times when we actually ‘did’ the book from cover to cover are times the children remember.
Just keeping them with you is so valuable in that they are learning the rhythm of your life. You will be surprised at how rich and hands-on your life actually is! i know that when I purpose to keep my children working alongside me I find that I do much better at staying on track and it is a blessing to see how engaged they become with what I probably think of as mundane.
One thing that I have become convinced of is that my poorest effort, done consistently and thoroughly, is much better than anything I have contrived and done sporadically.
It seems difficult, and it can be (at least for me) because it’s often tiring being a mom. So make sure you are resting in the afternoon so that having a little one help with dinner is not such a crisis as it is when you are tired.
Blessings,
Cindy
Thanks for the replies! I probably should have said that my youngest is 5, and the other two still at home are 8 and 9, so they should be perfectly capable of doing lots of things…much more than I realize, I’m sure. Although the 8 & 9 year old do a good job with the laundry and they do a quick clean of the bathroom daily — one for the toilet and one for the sink. And they love to clean windows (with microfiber cloths), but I just don’t think to have them do that very often.
I was thinking that they would love to help more in the kitchen, and the 8 & 9 yo each have a goal to “plan and prepare a nutritious meall” — but oh! kitchen stuff. I am just dreading it. 😛 And when I think about Understood Betsy or that type of thing, I think *real* baking and cooking would be very rewarding to them…albeit a huge challenge for me, at least to start.
I think what you said, Cindy, about *me* being well rested is definitely part of my problem. I believe there is a fairly direct correlation between my energy level and patience reservoir. More motivation to get to bed at a reasonable hour.
First, know that I am a recovering box checker, so lists are my thing. 🙂 I would suggest a chore chart for you to make for each of your children. Ours is in spread sheet form and hangs on the frig. I personally prefer to rotate chores weekly, bu5 do what works best for you.
Chores for the chart could include:
8 & 9 yo-
– wash & dry dishes/load &unload dish washer
– wash, dry, & fold laundry
– vacuum &/ or sweep
– dusting
– windows
– help make meals & bake
5 yo –
– set table
– bus the table
– scrub the sink
– clean the toilet (with vinegar for the inside – and outside for that matter)
– empty small garbage cans into larger can and clean/ reline as necessary
– mate and fold socks, underware, wash clothes, cloth napkins, dish cloths, etc.
– dust lower furniture
– help with meals
They can all help strip and remake beds on bedding laundrering day as well.
If you have front or back steps and a walkway, you could have all of them take turns with this as well. However it would probably be best to buy a child’s corn husk broom for the youngest & possibly for use by the older ones depending upon their height.
If you’d like some gardening type work for them, how about buying some pots and planters and growing tomatoes, strawberries, peppers, leaf lettuce or spinach, brussel sprouts, cabbage or even carrots (use a rubbermaid container and drill holes in the bottom for drainage). You could grow celery, green onions, etc. from the kitchen scraps of the produce you use in the kitchen. Just google for a list and how-to.
HTH,
blessings,
~jacqleene
I was so convicted by this book when I read it. I knew I needed to become more intentional. I think it should be a must read for all parents.
I grew up on a few acres. We had pigs, chickens, horses, rabbits, peacocks, wood to cut and split, a big garden, our own produce stand and christmas tree sales lot. Not all at the same time, but over the years we did all of these things. I don’t think my daddy thought about it alot. He just knew intrinsically that it was a good environment for us.
My seet, wonderful mother did not, however, teach me to cook at all. I had to pry cleaning jobs from her reluctant hands.
I have wanted to ensure a lifestyle for my children that gives them independence and skills. However, we live in town. We have a fairly large yard and do cut wood for our woodstove and have a big garden. We have had to be more purposeful and intentional to provide opportunities that would come more naturally if we had acerage. Someday, maybe, Lord willing.
I think a reread or two of this book over the years would be good for all of us. An incentive to continue to provide our children with a living eduation. I am inspired just by this conversation to reevaluate and add more into the lives of my children. Thanks for bringing up this topic.
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