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Training Boys question…
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Hi. I have three boys ages 8, 6, and 3. They tend to get wild at times- running through the house, chasing each other, punching each other in fun, knocking each other down (also for fun… but someone often gets hurt.) I LOVE peace and quiet!!! I just want them to STOP!!
But I also understand that they are boys and they need to get their energy out. Do you let your boys run around the house? How do you deal with this?? I’m sure someone out there has boys and can give ideas about this subject. I want to be understanding, but I also want order. When I express my frustration to my husband, he usually says something like– “They are boys. This will be a constant thing you will deal with.” Or something like that. I understand that I will be dealing with this, because that is how they are, but my question is: What does “dealing with it” look like??Thanks in advance and hope you all have a good day!
Yolie
No advice. I have 2, ds10 and ds7 about to be 8. They are loud! 🙂 They do run..but I do say do not run in the house…this is unless dad is playing cause he does chase them as well as wrestle w/ them! So really I have 3 boys!! LOL…well I am glad he takes the time to play w/ them. The other night they were all playing hide and seek, throwing pillows, and rough housing! And eventually knocked down some pictures and the phone! I was not happy..but then decided I was glad they were having fun w/ dad! I could have a dh that doesn’t play w/ the boys.
I do tell them though if you don’t calm down I will throw you outside!! LOL! They usually stop! I always remind them they can yell and run all they want to outside..for some reason they LOVE doing it inside!! I really don’t mind the noise but dh cannot stand it! Except when he is in the mix!
That is why I make them go outside even when they do not want to! They must get that energy out!!
Sorry I am no help! Just thought I would say…yep, that’s boys! 🙂
They need a space. They can run/wrestle/etc. outdoors, or choose one confined space in the house. But NOT the whole house. Just wait until they are all six feet tall. 🙂 You need to train them to be loud and run and wrestle at appropriate times and places only. They still need the outlet! So don’t ban completely. You want containment. 🙂
Yep — that’s boys. Our house is way to small to let our two run around much, but they still do. Dad does get in on the play, too sometimes, but like 2flowerboys, he doesn’t appreciate it much when he’s not in the mix. Any rough-housing tends to end when someone gets hurt unless I squash it. Thankfully we have lots of yard space for out-door play.
I agree, give them the needed space to let loose and be boys – especially when they get into those pre-teen & early teen years – oh my
! Enjoy them; they grow so fast . My boys like to rough house, too and it always ends with someone getting hurt, but that’s what they get, right?? I tell them ahead of time that that’s what is going happen and they say, “Okay.”
I don’t like them running in the house, though, our house is way too small, so I do suggest they go outside, or if it works, I take them to the park.
We have a rather large backyard/front yard and for some reason they love to rough house in the house…not outside, why?? That makes me a bit crazy.
My dh is usually rough housing with them or is the one that started this back in the day, so I blame him.
My girls act like this…my DS is my calmest child.
We have a few rules they must follow. No jumping on the couches or climbing on tables, no throwing balls in the house, etc. They also can’t run through the kitchen when I’m making dinner. They still break these rules, but there are consequences. If they are getting out of hand, I either send them outside or they have a “time out”. For the time out, they must sit on the couches (and I usually turn down the lights). After they’ve settled down for 5-10 minutes or so, they may get up. They are much calmer when they get up (and so am I)!
I have 1 boy and 3 girls – and they often get all running and chasing each other too… and our house is too small too. Drives me nuts. If the weather is ok, I send them outside too… but they don’t want to go….. there is just something about running around inside I guess.
I’d love to have a bit of space inside where they could run around, etc… but that isn’t possible in this house!
I have two of each. Baby girl is just one, but my older daughter is just as rambunctios, if not sometimes more so, than her brothers! She is the one who had three sets of stitches and a broken arm before she ever hit 2 1/2 years old! Whatever the case, I agree with PP’s who mentioned having a space and a time for rough and tumble play. We spent the last several years living in a southern climate, where I could usually send the children outside to burn off their energy. We are now in AK, where that won’t be quite as easy, but it will have to be pretty cold before I rule that option out! In fact, as I write this, my older three are running around on the deck barefoot in a dusting of snow. Don’t judge! Lol! It will last about two minutes, but aftwerward I will be able to get them to focus and accomplish what needs doing. We also have three levels in our home, so I have the ability to send them downstairs to run wild. We have spent plenty of time in extremely small (two rooms) temporary housing, and in those cases, if we couldn’t get outside, I have had to give them set periods of time to just get it all out, within set boundaries, of course! 🙂
I have one wonderful, sweet, and girly girl – my oldest.
And then the good Lord saw fit to bless me with FOUR boys, all a year and a half apart.
I grew up in a very quiet, orderly home…lots of reading and crafting went on there. It was an ALL girl home. So, needless to say, I was completely caught off guard with all this masculinity!
Some things I have learned…
1. Boys need structure, but they also need fun. Create a plan. Stick to it. They will be happier, and so will you. Be sure you include ‘quiet time’ in the plan – that is a great discipline for them and a needed break for you. But don’t get so rigid that you kill their spirit. I have been there and done that, and it isn’t good for anyone in the family (or honoring to God). Set aside time to have fun with them, enjoy them. They are funny! Celebrate that, and you will feel much closer to them, and they to you.
2. They need activity, and lots of it. Preferably outdoors. Build your home on Books and THINGS. They need to work with their hands. They need some healthy competition, games, and things to work with. Give them projects to work on, chores to complete, a sense of accomplishment. Men live for this stuff.
3. They talk – a lot. My daughter can focus on a project, or read all day. My sons communicate constantly. My sons, at least, don’t seem to be able to think without blurting. We are working on this :0). And I am learning to be a better listener, insist on ONE AT A TIME talking, and trying to answer all their many questions!
4. Read the Peacemaker Book for kids if you are having trouble with arguing. I don’t like the format, but we did it for Sunday devos for a while, and my 4 year old still stops arguments with its techniques!
5. Teach them (with your husband’s help) how to honor their Mother. Their wife will thank you one day! Is there anything worse to see than a little boy screaming at or hitting his mother? They need to obey you, but also respect and honor you. And they should be taught to serve the family, and you specifically. Don’t let them talk back or push you around. On the other hand, don’t push them around! Develop a culture of honoring each other in your home.
6. Another great book: Queen of the Home. Really helps you see how a Mom can influence her home culture without becoming a Drill Sargeant. Very encouraging.
Men are meant for great things. And all the great men I have heard of credit their mothers with their success. We plant the seeds of greatness in our sons through our gentleness and belief in them. Don’t underestimate yourself – what God has called us to do, He will empower us to do :).
I may need to read this to myself tomorrow…
Have you seen/read “Raising Real Men” by Hal and Melanie Young? I would highly recommned this book. They are a homeschool family with 6 boys (and 2 girls). I think they do an excellent job of discussing boy characteristics, how to view them properly, and how to steer them in a Godly direction without stifiling the way God made them – all without taking the “oh well, boys will be boys” approach.
Five of my seven children are boys, but my oldest boy is only 8, so we’ve not reached older years. For our ages we have firm rules about roughousing. We do not hit, kick, punch others in play. That is hurting and it is not Christlike, especially as it is often an older child who hurts younger, less physically capable children.
What we do accept:
Organized fighting – aka: martial arts training, wrestling training, etc. We’ve not pursued these yet. As we do they will be allowed to spar with each other – but no attacking without warning, it must be something they ask the partner if they want to spar first.
Weapons fun – We have wooden swords and shields for all the boys but the 9 month old (so the 8, 5, 3, and 1 yo). They are allowed to fight with those. Rules are simple – 1. Ask if someone wants to swordfight (no attacking unarmed brothers LOL). 2. Have control, choose to fight well, not to fight dirty to injure someone. (Little ones are given the specific direction not to hit heads as a guide).
We use nerf guns for targets too. Fun!
Servingwithjoy-Loved your comments about boys. Thank you! Raising my son has been a great blessing and I pray for wisdom through the challenges everyday!!
Agree w/ mjemom, Raising Real Men is a great book! Also you can sign up for their weekly newsletter at
But I also understand that they are boys and they need to get their energy out. Do you let your boys run around the house? How do you deal with this?? I’m sure someone out there has boys and can give ideas about this subject. I want to be understanding, but I also want order. When I express my frustration to my husband, he usually says something like– “They are boys. This will be a constant thing you will deal with.” Or something like that. I understand that I will be dealing with this, because that is how they are, but my question is: What does “dealing with it” look like??
! Enjoy them; they grow so fast 
. 
We have a few rules they must follow. No jumping on the couches or climbing on tables, no throwing balls in the house, etc. They also can’t run through the kitchen when I’m making dinner. They still break these rules, but there are consequences. 
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