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Teen who is really down
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Any ideas of how to best handle a teen who is really down on herself – she has recently been told that due to her cerebral palsy she may not be able to drive, she is finding she is not able to handle our new puppy as well as she hoped as her disability make some things very difficult for her and she is really thinking there will be nothing she will be able to do in this world. She is 19 and most of you know the difficulties and delays we have had with the hurricane and her sister’s illness which also took its toll on her – so we are still finishing up high school for the next year and that is not the problem – it is the future she is messed up about. She really wanted the puppy, but now has found she cannot cope, and has said if she cannot handle a puppy, then she obviously will not be able to handle a baby etc…she is weak on her left side, and her left arm does not work well – it is depth perception and multi-tasking that is difficult as well which may be the thing that stops her driving. My daughter who has been ill is now slowly getting better, and then this comes along….any ideas of how to encourage her and how to help her see a future? She does lose interest in things very quickly and that is a problem as well. She is very bright, so no problems there, but things need to be done in her own time. If any of you have any thoughts or even just a prayer I would appreciate it. Her diet is very good an wholesome by the way, and we only use natural things so this is purely a girl who is concerned about her future. She saw an occupational therapist who was rather unkind, talked down to her and pretty much said that if you cannot drive, you better live in a city or you will be useless!! So that obviously knocked her for six, then the puppy being a lot to handle has really made her down on herself. She already knows she would not be able to handle college away from home, and she has no idea what she might want to do – so that is where we are – ideas…..please. Blessings, Linda
Linda, sending lots of prayers your way.
Give her a big hug, and if you can find this book:
Life without Limits, by Nick Vujicic. If that goes well, I have a whole stack of person-overcomes-amazing-odds-and-succeeds books. I knew a woman once who had four children and ONE ARM. She can do it with a weak arm. It will take her some time and determination to figure it out, but she can do it. She can do anything! OK, maybe not climb Everest but who wants to do that anyway–way too cold up there.
Thanks Michelle, I will do that – I know that she will do fine, I just need to make her see that. I do so appreciate the info and the prayers, and if I need other books off your list I will surely ask. Bless you – Linda
I have no advice – but hugs for her.
There will still be many things she can do (including having a family) – but it may take some time to figure it out.
Thanks Suzukimom, I appreciate it. Michelle I ordered the book and downloaded it to her Kindle – thanks for the title – it sure does look inspirational. Linda
(HUGS) I will continue to to pray for her, too, Linda. Although I haven’t personally experienced this feeling your dd is having, I have experienced it from the viewpoint of a loved one, as you are, watching the one you love seemingly give up. It’s so hard for the whole family, too. She has so much potential in life ahead of her that she’s not aware of.
I don’t have any book suggestions but I will pray.
Rachel
Hugs to you and her! Are there any support groups near you? It sounds like she needs to see other people was are successfully living with cerebral palsy.
Also wondering have you/ her considered a service dog? I know you said she has a new puppy so that might not be an option right now, but the wait lists for service dogs are usually a few years anyway–and the idea of it might also give her some hope for more independence in the future. As for the puppy even with limited mobility she could train him herself. There is even a orgnization in AZ that helps mobility impaired people train their own service dogs. The key is “clicker training”. if you think this could be helpful, let me know and I can give you more information. (and lets be honest a puppy is a lot of energy for anyone.what breed/ size puppy is it?)
Wish I could be of help! I’m sure that this is a very difficult transition for both you and her!
Lindsey
Linda, sorry to hear your daughter is struggling so. I will pray for her. I don’t really have advice, except maybe this book: http://www.amazon.com/You-Gotta-Keep-Dancin-Hansel/dp/1564767442#reader_1564767442. I picked it up at church…inspiring story by a man who lives in continual pain after a mountain climbing accident and had to learn to choose joy. Prayers to you and your family, Gina.
Thank you ladies…Rachel I appreciate the prayers she is young and has had a few pieces of bad news right one after the other, and it has knocked her for a loop so to speak. I think with time, prayer and lots of encouragement she will be ok-but it is hard for a mama to see. Lindsey, her diability is not severe enough for a service dog, she just has the weak left side, and if you met her you might not even realize she has a problem – her lack of multi tasking and only being able to manage things in a slower way holds her back from a few things. She is an excellent cook and baker – but she could never train as a chef or a baker because it would be too hectic and fast paced, that disappoints her a lot. Once our puppy, a standard long haired dachshund is grown he will be perfect for her – but right now he is too rambunctious all 29lbs of him. He is a European bred dachshund and they are bigger than the US ones and sturdier, not so many back issues. He just needs time like she does. It is a difficult transition – I think this young adult phase is very confusing and difficult anyway, and then add this to it, it makes a messy soup. Gina, I will look into that book as well – ispirational stories are called for at this time as well – puts things in perspective. I really appreciate all you have said – thank you ladies, this group is a blessing. Hugs to you all – Linda
Reading the book One Thousand Gifts may help boost her spirits. It is excellent and really inspires you to look for those little everyday blessings. Here is a link to the authors blog. You can read some of her posts and see if you think it might be what you are looking for. Praying that she will see life is a gift and she is a blessing and has a purpose even if it might not be exactly what she thought it would be, if she allows God to use her for His purpose she will find joy she couldn’t imagine.
Linda, I’ll say a prayer for her!
If she likes to cook and bake, perhaps she could look into becoming a personal chef? That wouldn’t be quite as hechtic and she could work at a pace that would be good for her. I have no idea what the need for something like that would be where you are, but just thought it would be something that would still allow her to do what she loves!
Meagan we thought of that, but you still have to go through cooking school and that would be too much for her – I may look into it again at some point and see if there is any other way though – thanks also for the prayers. Linda
Linda, Ia m still praying for your girls! And you know, you don’t always need formal training…if she’s good, she can keep training herself, books, videos, local classes. She could sell her baked goods at fairs, flea markets, farmer’s markets, and build up a name for herself. I’ve had people in my church offer to buy my bread for special occasions, just because they know it’s good…but I don’t have time to pursue that as I wish I could. She could offer to make a meal for someone who needs help – perhaps with a dinner party or the like, and start really small, with small events like that, you know?
Hugs and Prayer your way!
Amy
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