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So exasperated about son not reading
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I need to vent. I’ve about had it with trying to teach my 6.5 ds how to read. Last year, when I started, I ended up quitting because he just wasn’t ready. So, this year I started with 100 Easy Lessons. We have gotten to lesson 59 and I just can’t do it any longer. He was doing SO good up until a lesson or two ago. Now it is taking us two days to finish one lesson. The words and sounds aren’t THAT much a struggle, but when we get to the paragraph, he just doesn’t want to do it. I can’t tell if he is just being lazy, or he really is having a problem. He acts like he honestly doesn’t remember the words that he has sounded up hundreds of times already. This is driving me crazy.
Should I just slack off and not try teaching reading for a while? I feel like if I don’t do it everyday he will forget everything. We were off the whole month of December and starting back has been SO painful. But, just for reading. Everything else he is fine with.
Should I just wait a year again and start over. I feel like he just doesn’t WANT to learn to read, or that he is lazy. Though he tells me he isn’t.
Help! Suggestions?
My son too struggled with reading at that age. He is fine now at 11, but it was a long road for me. First, know that your son will learn to read eventually. Some kids do need more time and it is ok! Do not feel pressured by peers who are ahead, it means nothing in the long run. Second, do the reading lessons in 15 to 20 minutes TOPS. He will learn better in little increments of time and can enjoy it better, and so will you. Vary the activity daily, sticking with one concept until he has it memorized. If the curriculum you are using gets monotonous, then DO add that variety. Sonya’s suggestions for learning to read are excellent, and I highly recommend them!
It can be a simple process, but we moms make it too hard when we try to stick with a certain curriculum that is boring and tedious. I am not saying yours is, but it does sound like you are tired of it. So change it if you like, and be free to do something like Sonya, and remember that a little at a time is the key to success.
Enjoy your son at 6, I so miss that sweet age with my boy. Relax and have fun together and focus on good habits that CM talks about. He is at a perfect age for gently training in the skill of attention. That in turn will help with reading later too. 🙂
I went through this exact experience with my dd. We got to Lesson 52, and she froze on me. It was like she could not figure out how to put sounds together anymore. It also took us two to three days to make it through one lesson. We were both becoming frustrated with each other, and it was just not a good experience. She was almost five at the time, so I felt comfortable putting it away for a few months and trying again later. I actually kick myself for starting her so soon. It was TOO soon. Now, at 5.5, she reads like she’s been doing it for years, which is a relief.
Since your ds is over 6, I would think that putting it down for a long period of time might not be the best approach, because you would ideally want your 6.5yo to be reading something. Maybe you could take a short break, say a week or two, and try again after that. During that break, do whatever you can to make reading look and feel fun to him. Read to him like crazy. Point to words as you read and see if he’ll follow along with you. You might even lose 100 Easy Lessons for a while and just try short, simple picture books (ie. Dick and Jane, Hop on Pop, Biscuit, First Steps). Some of the paragraphs in 100 Easy Lessons can look really long and daunting to a child, so something shorter with more color and fewer words on the page might be less overwhelming for him. Many children learn to read very well without the use of a “reading program”, so that might be something else to consider.
HTH,
Lindsey
Agreeing with Simple Home, drop it if it’s not working. I have 2 experiences with 100 EZ lessons. My first was with dd who is now 8 and reading like a champ. We got to lesson 70 or so when she was around 5 and a half and she was struggling. I wondered if she was bored so I got a Dick and Jane reader. (She was already able to read the 1st set of Bob books). She took off with the Dick and Jane Reader, then I got her the first 2 pathway readers from Road and Staff and then moved on from there, she was reading very well!
My second experience is with my ds who is 6 and a half now. We started 100 EZ last year and put it away quickly, clearly he was not interested! I picked it up again when he turned 6 and we got to about lesson 12 and he cried through the whole thing and I almost did too. So, I put it away again. I had a copy of The Reading Lesson which I just pulled out this week for him and he is doing so well! He read mom, dad, tom and sam in today’s lesson and he was thrilled!! I would recommend either putting away 100EZ to try it later, or try something else altogether. The Reading Lesson is working for us!
I really liked 100 Easy Lessons when we started. I thought that I had finally found something that was going to work for him. He can’t have lots of colors, pictures on a page, etc. He gets so distracted. But as the paragraphs started getting longer, the longer it seemed to be taking us. My only concern about skipping right into books is that he hasn’t learned some of the sounds to read them yet. Isn’t that an issue?
If you are not against computer time, why not let him play on starfall.com? Not very CM though! It did wonders for both of my boys! It is free and fun! My first son taught himself to read at age 4. But my second one had no interest in learning! I thought this would be a hard year for us. I tried to get him to do something over the summer but he refused. He turned 6 in November and all of the sudden things clicked for him. He is reading pretty good! Starfall is so fun my 8 yr old still likes to watch his brother do it! Let him see that reading can be fun! I had 100 Easy Lessons, and I didn’t like it at all! Now I know there are many who learn from this book. But I think it depends on a child’s learning style and personality too!
Also instead of EZ, teach him from books. Like the first readers or Dick and Jane like someone mentioned. My son really got bored with the sight word flash cards. When I changed to a book he got excited! However, my first son loved to look at flash cards! It depends on their learning style I guess!
Also I just found out about this website. http://www.tickettoread.com You have to pay 29.95 for a subscription. If I had to do it again, I might consider it! It looks fun!
Again if you are not against watching dvds. Leapfrog DVD’s are awesome! Along with PBS’ Between The Lions. Our small town library has these VHS..if you cannot get it on PBS. http://www.pbskids.org has some reading games too!
I was in your shoes not many months ago. Don’t worry it will click one day! Let it go!
Sooo, sent my post and then read your last reply! So I am editing. My son is easily distracted too! Very much so! But for some reason these ways worked for him. He got to interact with the online lessons. And with the dvd’s you listen and see along with playing games at the end.
Exposing him to easy readers are a good way to learn the sounds. I recommend pointing to the words as you read them. And before you get started on a book, ask him to say the sounds with you. A says a B says B etc..
Hope this helps!
I would look at his lessons so far in 100EZ and see which sounds he hasn’t learned yet. Then close the book and write them out so you’ll know and give him 1-3 of those new sounds per week to practice. The Dick and Jane readers (I think we had the Dick and Jane Treasury) start out so simply, he may know many of the sounds already and then you can just work on adding the new ones as you get to them. Just some thoughts!!
I struggled with my oldest the first couple of years. There are two things that really helped us. At the Baldwin project there is free Treadwell readers and guide. The kids really enjoyed learning this way. It seemed to align nicely with Charlotte Mason’s teaching of reading. It teaches through both sight words and then using those words to learn other words (1) cat bat hat rat .. 2) dog hog log…. . I printed out the words several times and introduced it how Charlotte advocated. Then when we went through the phonics sets, I had the children use alphabet tiles. They recorded all of the new words in a notebook.
The other thing (that I learned from watching my mother-in-law) was to help my children through reading. I used Dick and Jane (transitioning into the Ginn readers) as well as the Treadwell readers. She would alternate reading sentences with them. When they came to a word that they did not know she would start by saying the first sound (then the second…). Usually this was enough of a help for them to carry on. I was hesitant to do this before, because I thought that I might be hindering thier reading skills by helping them too much. It helps immensivley to help them out during reading time. If there is a word that they continually miss then I would set aside time later to work on those words. One thing that I did was make a bingo set for them. The words that they often messed up -> where, were, what, why, when, that, they, them……. Sometimes I would print and cut out many words and lay them before the children to find the right word, or make a page with the words randomly sprinkled throughout the page and ask them to find 5 of the word.
Finally my son has conquered the fear of reading and is starting to read things on his own instead of just the time that I have set aside for him to read with me. He is 8 now. I wish I would not have stressed about it and put pressure on him earlier. My daughter (6 1/2) and younger son (4) never had this pressure and have always enjoyed the process of learning to read. My daughter is enjoying the pathway readers, Thomas (the oldest) is enjoying the ginn readers, and my youngest is bringing me the Dick and Jane book and asking me about the words. I am taking a much more enjoyable and laid back approach with all of the others now.
Something that the kids enjoyed as far as blending was for me to slowly say each sound and them to act it out. Ex. Kids R-U-N to mom. A site that I enjoy persuing is the don potter site.
The biggest thing that I have learned as far as my childrens education is not to stress out and compare. I wish that I had trusted and done that which I knew to be best when they were younger. To focus on habits and start where my children were at and progress encouragingly from there. Each child is unique and there is not one plan that will suit all. This is one thing that sometimes frustrates me, but more often makes me smile about the way that God directs our lives. He makes it so that we need to rely on the Holy Spirit to knw what is right in each situation. He alone knows your teaching methods, your childs learning methods, what you will both face in the future…..
How much help should I be giving him on words? I guess I have it in my mind that I shouldn’t help him sound words out that he has already seen/read. At what point do you stop giving all that help, because I think that my ds would just act like he doesn’t know the word so I will tell him what it is . . .
I don’t have any other resources at home, right now, except for the Sonlight P4/5 readers which are called Fun Tales. Last year (before I found SCM) the LAK is what I tried with him for a K year and soon learned that he wasn’t ready AT ALL for it. So, I just tucked them away. Has anybody used/tried those?
I can, of course, get BOB readers and the Pathway readers and other resources from the library to try if I need to. I think that I might ditch the 100EZ and try the Fun Tales.
Has he some sight words in his belt? I did not want to help my son with his reading at all because I was scared that then he would not learn to read phonetically if I taught him sight words or helped him too much. When I started to think about it I came to realize a bit of why he was frustrated. How much fun would it be to try to read through spanish books once you had the sounds of each letter down? I think that I would come to dread these lessons. Now Mason believed that children can learn words by seeing them as a whole. Throughout my childrens readings I have seen this often. This makes it so that words that are longer and distinctively different often are easier to remember than cat, bat, rat, sat… I can see the benefit in learning the words as wholes and then using the words that you learn to learn phonetics.
http://www.mainlesson.com/author.php?author=treadwell treadwell readers and guide
http://homeschoolblogger.com/lklivingston/391517/ charlotte mason approach
http://barefootvoyage.blogspot.com/2010/04/first-reading-lessons-with-charlotte.html from a fellow SCMer
Forgive me if I repeat anything from the previous posts, I don’t have time to read them all right now, but when my daughter was 5 1/2 yrs old and she got stuck when 100 EZ Lessons began weaning them off the letters to normal looking print, I just backed up about 10 lessons (or fewer) and when we go to the lesson she left off with she did fine. I wouldn’t give up entirely if he has made it that far! I think all kids get to a point they get stuck. My daughter seemed to forget sounds as well. Just keep reviewing the ones he doesn’t remember well (I used homemade flashcards with my now 8 yr old and she is reading 6 grade level now!) and he’ll soon get them!
My daughter didn’t like the LONG stories in EZ Lessons either, so I just had her read it once through, then we went back the next day to read again with the questions. She is stubborn so she would read s-l-o-w on purpose since she didn’t want to be there. I’d get so angry! But learned to explain gently we are going to read, this is your work , but we won’t read it 2 times, just once and that made her happy. My ODD didn’t mind the long stories. Each child is different! So I advise to keep the lessons to 10 to 15 mins (It took us 30 with 2 readings through!)
HTH!
TaraYes, he does have some sight words. It’s so weird. He can pick out the word ‘little’ very well! But today the lesson had the words big and bug MANY times and each time he had to sound it out. Again. So frustrating. I might try going backwards several lessons and see if that works. If not, I’ll probably just try something else. He is an extremely auditory learner. But, that doesn’t help much when you have to look at a page to learn to read. He loves, loves to be read to and learns great that way. Other subjects. That’s why I chose CM.
junkybird,
That’s so interesting about the word recognition. My dd did the same thing the “big” and “bug”! No kidding! And she recognized words like “the”, “little”, and “and” very well. He’ll get the hang of it; it just takes time. I still advocate a break for both of you for a week or two. Let the frustration wear off a bit before you press forward.
It is common…
I am another one that votes for moving to the Dick and Jane readers. I got the Dick and Jane Treasury from the library (it has Primer level stories) – and my kids loved it and it works great. I wouldn’t drop phonics completely (I did, and am having to do some with my son now because he has troubles figuring out new words…) but my kids had total delight reading the books. My daughter reads them over and over. (We also got one of the Dick and Jane 1st year books “Our new neighbours” from a used bookstore…)
The Dick and Jane primers were reprinted in a treasury… (actually 2….) but they aren’t in order in the treasury books. The order is…
“We Look and See”
“We Work and Play”
“We Come and Go”
(There are versions with “new” in the names – from the 60’s…)
And there is one called “Guess Who” which I believe was used for children that still were not ready for “Fun with Dick and Jane” (the grade 1 book) after reading the primers – but is also good for more stories at an easy level… it does move quicker than the other 3… kind of combining the learning of the other 3 into 1 book… so can be a quick intro.
We now own one of the treasuries called “The World of Dick and Jane and Friends” – (blue cover) – and it has in it “Guess Who”, “The New We Come and Go”, and “The New We Look and See”
Note that the easiest book to read is the last one!
First story in “The New We Look and See”…
1st page “Look, Look”
2nd page “Oh, oh, oh”
3rd page “Oh, oh. Oh, look.”
(The story is actually told by the pictures at this level… But boy, were my kids THRILLED that they had read an entire story!)
Very easy to figure out using phonics (even if for some words you just say something like “in this case, the e doesn’t say anything… or stuff like that…) OR, great stuff for doing CM style lessons. Each story only has a couple new words… do you do the CM style learning of the words (like Sonya is discussing on the blog) – and then they can read the story right away!
More from my blog…
http://maplehillacademy.blogspot.com/search/label/Reading%20Instruction
We are reading the Dick and Jane and Friends Treasury right now for fun and dd loves it! She also really loves First Steps from Pathway Readers. She gets excited to read the next chapter each day!
My daughter does that also, can recognize bigger words like “something” or “little” but forget the smaller ones like “will”. I think that must be normal, eh? 🙂 I think it is important to do both site and phonics, so when they come to a word they’ll try to sound it out.
Hope you find what works for your son!
Tara
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