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sending a child to public school
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I was just curious if any one here has sent their child to ps for a season feeling like after prayer that it was the right decision for that time? I’m only asking because after much prayer (me leaning more toward hs and dh leaning more toward ps for lower grades), my ds has started ps K at a school we like for the most part (although we don’t like the ps curriculum vs. CM style education) and my ds LOVES it (it seems a good fit for his personality for now). Through searching our options for ps vs. hs I did rediscover CM (having only known a little about it from the hs moms/kids I babysat for long before dh and dc came along). And after prayer, dh has changed his heart from wanting our kids to do ps through 4th grade to now considering hs as soon as next year. Dh really feels from God we made the right decision for our son for this year (as we prayed about it diligently, researched this school over the one “best in the area” school we are zoned for, I am able to be involved, we both can eat lunch with him regularly, I will be able to volunteer in the classroom and go on fieldtrips, the teacher he was assigned is a Christian who we already knew and are blessed he was assigned to her, etc…). But dh does now see the benefits of what I have told him of a CM education from early on and promises to as a team prayerfully decide each year what we think is best for our dc, hsing full time as early as next year and as late as their completion of 4th grade.
I do see my ds (who is VERY social, energetic, and loving) thriving at this school and the environment among the students and teachers is positive (we have both eaten lunch with him, met or already knew several of the parents, and the Sunday School teachers at our church do an after school Bible program for some students and have a positive view of the school unlike other schools in our area). BUT I hate hate hate him coming home with lists of sight words to memorize, FUNDRAISERS as bought up in another post and ds begging me to sell 3 coupon books so he could attend the prize ice cream party (to which ds was alright with me just telling him I would take him out for ice cream the day he missed out on the party since I was not selling the 3 books, LOL), and flash cards. And I hate that 3yodd went to the nature park with me today and learned so much about nature while ds was sitting inside 4 walls trying to pronounce all his phonics correctly and recognize all his numbers up to 25.
I have to go to pick my ds up in the pick up line now (LOL). I joined this group and year 0 AO yahoo group because I plan to use an AO/SCM combo curriculum and I have started giving my dd full time CM preschool education now (my ds a part time). I was just curious if any one else was in the same boat as me on this list, and if it all works out okay as long as a family is seeking God about the education.
Blessings!
ibkim2, of course our situation is somewhat different, but we too have our youngest in PS for this year. I want to say first, I am very new to home schooling, just started 5 weeks ago with my DD6. It wasn’t until last winter that the Lord led us the way to start home schooling in the new school year. My youngest is attenting PS Kindergarten and I know it is the right thing for this year to do. He had a very bad speech impairment and started taking speech therapy when he was 19 month old and went though the special needs public preschool. We were greatly blessed to have an awesome speech therapist team at our school and with God’s help they worked “wonders”. Our son will most likely be released from his IEP during this school year and is in the advanced readers group which is almost unbelievable knowing where he started out from. I know the Lord send us all the people who worked so dedicated with our son all these years and I don’t think I could have done their job. Since our son is soon being released from the IEP, I know God wants us to take him home when this chapter is closed. I firmly believe that sometimes the Lord just takes something of our shoulders and sends us someone to deal with it and there is no reason to feels guilty about it. Remeber God is in controll – always!
My daughter’s were in PS until mid 5th grade when we removed them as they appeared to be learning little and just were filled with busy work. I have never regretted the decision and they will graduate in about 18 months and be young women about to embark on the next season – would I do it again? absolutely – in fact I would do it always and never put them in PS. It only took a few months to see the benefits of homeschool. My daughter had an IEP for her cerebral palsy in school but it was nothing that we could not accomodate at home -so it worked well for us. Before removing the girls we prayed a lot, and read a lot, and then just did it – none of us regret a moment. Linda
I appreciate all of the positive things you have said about you son’s school environment, but regardless, it is still public school. We have seen all too often in various parts of the country how policies affecting public schools can change overnight, and many times those changes result in loss of parental rights. If you can opt out of certain things currently for reasons of faith, does that mean you will be able to do so next year? Or even next month? And will he have a Christian teacher next year, or perhaps someone who opposes the Christian faith? Public school is so unpredictable these days.
My oldest stepson, now 18, absolutely loved school. He was a very social little guy from kindergarten on, delighting both fellow students and the school staff. Unfortunately, he fell through the cracks academically and began to put forth only a minimal effort. Communication with the school varied from teacher to teacher, and we seemed to know less and less of what was actually going on in school. After all, it’s “not cool” to be frequently in your child’s school once they pass the primary grades, and the system has convinced parents that once the child passes through the school doors, they belong to the school until they leave to go home.
So, now, after being passed along from one year to the next, after failing a couple of subjects in 12th grade, my stepson has left home, moved in with a cousin who is not a good influence, and he has decided not to return to school to repeat those subjects and graduate. This may be an extreme situation, but I wish there had been “Beware!” signs posted for my husband and I to see in the early years. Perhaps we could have convinced his mother to let us homeschool him. My contact with him varied after about age 9, so habit training was minimal. A good dose of that and some one-on-one attention with accountability might have changed his path. Homeschooling can do that far a child.
@ChristineAZ, I have to laugh at myself for not thinking things through. When I first read your statement about your son being released from his IEP, I mistakenly thought you had the impression that you could not withdraw him to homeschool until the IEP goals were met. Then I realized you were just saying that the fact that he would soon be released from it seemed to be God’s way of saying it’s time to bring him home. What’s funny is, I had prepared a full paragraph about not letting the school intimidate you into keeping him in school just because he has a current IEP…..
Just shows what happens when I skim through posts instead of r-e-a-d-i-n-g them!I agree and feel for the posts above. BUT I am a very firm believer that WHATEVER the Lord calls us to do! WE JUST DO IT! That’s that…no ifs buts of hows about it. We obey. Whatever the Lord trully calls you to do…and you have prayerfully considered it, and given this decision time, and are sure that this is best…then you have no choice but to obey…even if it’s for a season. I also believe that you and your husband should be hearing the same thing…if you are not and there is no peace…it’s not from God it’s feelings and emotions talking.
Lord, I pray for this family, and for this married couple, that you would speak to them both in unison that they may know full well your plans for their sweet child. I pray that they will know without a shadow of a doubt where you lead them, whether it is public school or homeschool for this young boy, make it clear to them. Allow this young man to be a light in a dark world. I pray that you will shine on this family and keep a hedge of protection over them wherever they go. To you Lord I pray, AMEN!
Yes, if the Lord directs you to enroll your child in a public (or any other type) of school, then that’s where you send him or her. If you are still praying about it, I would say to find out a lot about what goes on in the particular school, perhaps even visit the school and pray while you are there….or walk around the building and pray there. You’ll hear the Lord’s voice through prayer.
A Christian friend just sent me an article published in the Washington Times entitled, “Snuffing Out Children’s Innocence: ACLU agenda aims to taint children.” If you are interested in what the columnist has to say, you can read it here.
WARNING – THIS POST DOES NOT ANSWER YOUR QUESTION – It is totally unsolicited advice, but hopefully it will encourage us all in our endeavors to faithfully follow and serve the Lord.
I’d encourage you to keep seeking the Lord in prayer – that’s SO important, but I’d also search for His answer in the Word. Our emotions are fickle things and we don’t realize all of the outside pressures that can affect our perception of what we think God is calling us to do.
I just read a blog entry the other day by a wonderfully godly woman who was CERTAIN that the Lord had told her she was having a baby boy. She just knew it, her husband also believed it to be true – in fact even when they delivered the baby (at home in the hot tub outside with low lighting) she thought what she saw was a baby boy, it was a while later and after the father had posted to facebook about their new son, when her mother had taken the little “guy” upstairs to be cleaned off that they discovered they had a girl! Now, I don’t believe that scripture could have given them a definitive answer about the sex of their unborn child, but I do believe there are a number of scriptures that support giving our children a Christian education. And from those of my friends that send their kids to public schools, I have yet to hear an example from scripture or any scriptural mandate that could be interpretted as God calling us to give our children over for the majority of their day to a secular education. Some will say that God has called them to send their children to public school, but without scripture to back it up – it’s kinda like the story about the woman convinced she was having a boy – we just may not know for sure until it’s all said and done.
If you already have a verse or example from scripture that has given you peace about putting your child in secular education please, please I’d love to hear it – truly. It would certainly give me better perspective on some of my friends who are so adamant that they would never be called to homeschool and don’t consider Christian schools either. I don’t want to be a nag or a voice of opposition, just a gentle nudge – and if this post fails to hold water with you, then perhaps it will bless someone else.
Now, if you want encouragement on why you should start homeschooling sooner rather than later, I KNOW that there are lots of ladies that can give you dozens of reasons – I have a few myself and I bet we can even make a pretty good argument on how your outgoing son can thrive at home if that would be helpful and encouraging to you, but regardless, we look forward to hearing more about your journey!
Our hsing journey started later in our older boys’ lives – they were in 3rd and 5th when we started. They started at a private Christian school and then had one yr at the ps, we wanted to give them the benefit – much to our chagrin. Our oldest has LD’s, diagnosed in 7th – finally (long story). We made our decision to hs on a yearly basis, considering the family’s and each dc’s needs at the time. Our youngest 2 haven’t ever been to school, other than a yr or two of PreK. I will say that I have seen a huge difference in each pair that I can only attribute to hsing. If I had brought both boys home after private school, and not had them go to the ps at all, things would have been very different – particularly for my oldest. (It took 3 yrs and a very unique camp to start seeing glimpses of that precious boy again, but he’ll never come back completely.)
I don’t know what got into us, but we sent him back to the ps in 8th. For some reson we thought they could help him more than we could. He was there for 8th and then went to the HS for 9th. It was not what I wanted or what I felt God leading me to do, but I was not the only one making the decision. Last yr, younger ds also went to the ps for 7th. His reasons were not very strong, but dh said he could go. I was so upset w/ both dh and God. I finally had to let it go and gave it to God in Jan. It wasn’t easy to do and I still had questions, but I released both boys and dh to Him.
Funny thing, though, w/in just a couple of months of leaving it in God’s hands, ds was asking to come home for 10th. And, another couple of months passed and 2nd ds asked to be home, too. Granted, both boys’ reasons for asking were different, but the result is the same. Another thing, dh was starting to see things much more clearly, too. Then, over the last month, he’s seeing so many things. I believe that God is working.
I’m glad that you’re having a good experience at this point. I hope that it continues, but also be prepared. It is still the system, and the influences of other dc WILL play a part in your dc’s life. Thankfully, at this age, it won’t be as much as later on, but be prepared. It’s OK to use whatever option you have available. There are different seasons in all of our lives and it’s not our place to say anything either way. It’s a decision that only you and dh can make, w/ the Lord’s leading. You may even make different decisions for each of your dc.
I’m not saying that what we did is right or wrong, or that what you’re doing is right or wrong. All we can ever do is the best we can w/ the knowledge we have and leading at that time. God *will work if we’re faithful, regardless of how it all plays out. If we are trying to follow Him and made a decison a little different than what He originally intends, then He will honor our efforts. And, following your dh, even if it’s not the same direction as what you’re thinking will still be honored by Him.
Our dh’s will take a bit longer to see and understand things because they aren’t in the home the same way, dealing w/ the dc as much, or hearing/learning from others like we do/are. It’s going to take more time for them to get to the same place. We have to let God work and answer all the questions we can.
As w/ anything we do as parents, we can only try. We will all certainly make mistakes, and lots of them. But, loving our dc and doing the best we can at the time, will go a long way. It’s also good for them to see us learning, trying, making mistakes, apologizing, adjusting, and working through all the things that we face. Trust Him. That’s all we can do. You’re doing a great job!
Keep praying,
K
ps ~ I am going to put an unsolicited plug in for bringing him home ASAP. Sooooo many reasons. If you want more details/info, ask away. Any situation you wonder about, ask away. You will find support and encouragement here along w/ uplifting and suggestions. Find a good group that you can count on – this is key! I know I couldn’t have come to the point I’m at w/out that same thing.
@Rebekahy, well said….and very bold of you! Your call to cite Scripture regarding educational choices is a challenge I hadn’t considered. I have always known that God called me to homeschool, and I just move forward every day with that thought.
God bless….
@ibkim2 – I think that you are making a wise decision to submit this to God and follow his leading, and to submit to your husband on this. God will bless that spirit. Just continue to pray about it. Though my husband and I plan to homeschool our kids through highschool, we are very open to the fact that God might have other plans for their lives, and we have to be listening to that.
@Rebekahy – Can you give some references for the scriptures that you are talking about, please?
I would just caution that, while most people assume it is the upper elementary and high schools that will expose your children to negative influences and pressures. This is not completely true. By fourth grade child has been in the system five years, and if your child is spending six hours at school and another hour on a bus, that is seven hours a day, five days a week that you are not your child’s primary influence. These are formative years when character building and family bonding is most important. Habit training is much easier at this age. If you wait until fourth grade to bring him home you may have a number of habits that will need to be replaced — habits learned in the classroom and on the school ground.
Your child may love school, and yes, that helps to ease your conscience, but because we love something doesn’t necessarily mean it is good for us. In time you may realize, like me, that your child is slipping away from you at such an early age. My children were in PS until this year. I wish I’d had the option of pulling them out sooner. They are in 2nd and 5th grade. My older is extremely social. He loved school though he complained about the work constantly — wouldn’t miss a day though — but it was all so he could hang out with the other kids.
I’ve worked in the public school for the last two years, and as far as schools go, this one is definately among the finest, but the grade 4’s and 5’s in particular were extremely pushy, rude to each other and staff, and sometimes just down right mean.
I’m not Rebekahy, but here are some scriptures that the Lord has used in our family to confirm that we, as parents, bear the responsibility of teaching our children. We may choose to give our authority to someone else (ie. ps system), but we maintain the responsibility before God for what they are being taught.
- Deuteronomy 6:7-9
7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. 8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
- Ephesians 6:1-4
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3″that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” 4Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
- Deuteronomy 21:18-21
18″If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey the voice of his father or the voice of his mother, and, though they discipline him, will not listen to them, 19then his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his city at the gate of the place where he lives, 20and they shall say to the elders of his city, ‘This our son is stubborn and rebellious; he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton and a drunkard.’ 21 Then all the men of the city shall stone him to death with stones. So you shall purge the evil from your midst, and all Israel shall hear, and fear.
- 1 Thess. 2:11-12
11For you know how, like a father with his children, 12we exhorted each one of you and encouraged you and charged you to walk in a manner worthy of God, who calls you into his own kingdom and glory.
- Colossians 3:20-21
20Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. 21Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.
Blessings,
Christie
The scriptures Christie cited are part of our family’s conviction to keep our children at home as well. Also, I would like to cite Colossians 3:15. You can look up any version you like, but I especially like the interpretation of this verse from the Amplified Bible: “And let the peace (soul harmony which comes) from Christ rule (act as umpire continually) in your hearts [deciding and settling with finality all questions that arise in your minds, in that peaceful state] to which as [members of Christ’s] one body you were also called [to live]. And be thankful (appreciative), [giving praise to God always].”
In any decision my husband and I make, we allow peace to guide us. We do not go forward with a decision until we both have the peace of God in our hearts and are in agreement on the issue. Peace is something we cannot manufacture; therefore our emotions cannot dictate our decisions. Sometimes false peace comes in the form of doing what makes the most sense or following the advice of those wiser than ourselves, but true and lasting peace about a decision as big as this one can only come from the Holy Spirit. If He is guiding you and your husband in your decision making and you both agree on the decision, you will be so full of peace, even if others disagree with you or think you’re crazy.
Let peace be the umpire of your hearts!
Blessings,
Lindsey
Christie and Lindsey, those are the same verses I use as my conviction, too. My dh is one of those types who can see both sides to every story and how people come to choose different things while reading exactly the same things. Drives me crazy….. He hopes to send our kids to a private high school. I pray hard every day he sees the benefits of having them home and the bad part of even a Christian high school (he went to a Christian high school and witnessed the bad along with the good – and yet he thought it was an awesome experience – still cannot grasp that…). Thankfully, my oldest is only 8. My oldest and 2nd oldest went to 4K at our church’s school. That was enough for me. No more schools, ever, if I can help it! I can cite so many things that I have witnessed &/or heard coming from kids as young as 4, 1st graders, and even 8th graders and older that make me shudder! And these are all Chrstian kids! I see my neighborhood brimming with public school kids – small town, great schools, and I still shudder to think what I could be putting my children through! I urge you to pray hard that your dh sees the benefits of bringing your son home asap.
If it’s socialization you and your dh are worried about, there are SO MANY options nowadays, it’s almost silly that people think homeschooled kids are unsocialized! LOL My kids will hardly be home this school year with all the different activities and social gatherings they will be in. Even at your son’s age, there is so much to choose from.
BTW, I have to wonder, if you don’t like the way/what they’re teaching, isn’t that reason enough to rethink sending him to the school?
Just my thoughts, FWIW.
Thanks so much ladies, this has given me so much to think deeply about. My dh and I had a very encouraging conversation with a hs couple from our church this evening that had done ps for a short time. As for this year, dh and I are at peace with our decision for where our ds is right now. But dh has gone from wanting to send our dc to ps through 4th grade (from the beginning neither of us wanted them to go to jr. high or high school….guess for both us ps was great till we reached the upper grades) and because we really liked our elementary school option. BUT, now we are looking at hs-ing ds as early as next year (1st grade), unless after prayer, fasting, and scripture leading (GREAT advice to those of you who mentioned that and thank you for the references as I plan to start studying this topic in my quiet times over the next months since we will have to make a final decision come spring) we feel God’s blessing on continuing on with this ps one or two more years. I did, after posting this topic, do a rough draft hs curriculum for 1st grade based on CM methods (using some of recommended resources from SCM/AO/and my own CM type preferences) which I showed to dh and he thinks the curriculum seems great and fits our family lifestyle well. Our only hesitation is knowing ds’s personality (he has already become the teacher’s pet, everybody’s best buddy, the classroom star, and smiling from ear to ear everyday I pick him up)….by hs-ing now I’d be keeping him home with a not-so-social, introverted by nature (but very friendly) mom (I sometimes wonder how I got a child with such a personality, as my dd and dh are natural introverts as well). Ds asked me last week if he could do after care because the kids who “get to” stay after school have so much fun……to which I amusingly replied I wasn’t having him away from me any longer in the day! We just want to have our ds in the best environment for him for learning, but ARE heavily rethinking everything…..I think the PERFECT fit for him would be a 1/2 day PNEU school…..so wishing they had that in our area……hummm…..maybe I’ll start one ;).
Blessings to each of you, and thank you….I feel your prayers and encouragement, as dh keeps reassuring me that we will make a decision together with the Lord’s guidance for next year….and dh is confident we will know what is best.
I told the hs mom I talked to in depth today that I never met a hs mom who regretted her decision to hs, but I have met some ps moms who regretted their decision to ps…and she agreed….something else to ponder.
Just shows what happens when I skim through posts instead of r-e-a-d-i-n-g them!
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