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Schedules…or Lack Of :)
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Do any of you have any advice on family scheduling? Being a preacher’s / homeschool family can make for some very unorganized schedules. We can’t seem to find a good way to make a plan that is realistic since our lives are not always predictable. I talking about things like meal planning, chore planning, school planning, visitation planning, family time, devotional time, etc. We also need a family schedule that is visible to us all, like some kind of chart, but flexible so we can adjust things if we need to. I guess we need something more like a routine rather than a by the clock schedule. Any advice?
Have you checked out the Managers of their Homes? You could use that to build your overall schedule framework…. they recommend that when things throw you off schedule, when that thing is over, you continue the schedule with whatever time it is (obviously making sure that vital things like meals are done.)
I’ve read it, but haven’t implemented it….
I was looking at that on their website today…I am just tired of feeling so unorganized. Today, for example, we all got up late and were eating breakfast at 10:00 when the Orkin man came by to spray. Then no one was hungry at lunch time so we worked on school thru 1:30. My husband is always in and out because his office is right next door at the church building and every time he comes in it causes a ruckus. Today, school work got done, some laundry got done, we all ate breakfast and lunch, but that’s about it. At 4:00 I took a look in the mirror and was appaled at my reflection. I did not even take the time to dress myself appropriately today. We had a very busy week last week so since I have “relaxed” this week everything is a mess. I get ill, snappy, and irritated because I have not done all that I feel that I should have done on days like this. We really need some structure.
BUT….my husband and I have problems with following through with plans ;( We set up a budget and then don’t keep it up, we designate a night for family time and don’t remember to do it, we planned for him to assess the kids weekly work on Fridays and forget about it for weeks, we can’t seem to get a good plan that is realistic and easy to remember. UGH!! We need HABIT TRAINING!!!!
I will admit that these are my weaknesses too! I feel like we need a schedule – but I can’t seem to follow one. My husband doesn’t like schedules – yet I was looking at goals he made a number of years ago for our family – and having life more scheduled was on there (yet he hates schedules….). I struggle with habit training my kids, but I need habit training too.
I like how MOTH figures out the schedule… but I just couldn’t get our one try to work… I keep thinking about trying again… sigh
I am actually looking at flylady again… I’ve been a flybaby for a couple of years… I get to about baby step 10 and that is where things end up stopping (somewhere like that.) Yet when I’m doing it, the house does look better, and I do feel like I’m getting some things done.
I’m hoping to do a bit better of a plan by next fall… not a minute by minute thing – but a “meals at these times”, “start school by this time”, “music practice around this time”… Start school with family subjects, then rotate who I work with… I need to find the mixture between structure and routine, versus a drive-me-crazy type of schedule.
Not sure if I’m helping – but if you haven’t checked out flylady, it is another way to go. It starts one little step at a time… basically it helps you setup the things you do every day (morning, afternoon, and bedtime routines for MOM), and then beyond that (after you get going) it divides the house into 5 zones, and gives you a daily assignment in a zone. Really, when I was doing this (just the baby steps!) last year, a friend raved about how great the house looked (and it really wasn’t that good…) and asked what I was doing. I just need to stick with it!
Amanda –
I have to say this and mean it kindly – it is me that sets the tone and expectations in my home. I KNOW that I can do this and have it go the way it needs to, but only if I discipline myself first. Somethings that work for me:
I get up about 15 minutes before I wake the rest of the house. It gives me uninterupted time to dress, etc. and feel the silence before life starts…
I get everyone up at the same time before Dad leaves so we can have hymn, scripture, and pray together before breakfast. (This is the same every school day regardless of bedtime the night before – otherwise I can’t maintain any type of discipline
)While I fix breakfast, my kids are making beds, dressing, putting away pj’s, combing hair, washing faces and then coming to eat. Immediately after breakfast, they clear their dishes and dad leaves while we start school.
I have a printed checkoff list for all of of things that must be accomplished by the time we go to bed. everyon is responsible for their own and certain things are not allowed intil their stuuf is finished.
I have reserved Saturday as a sleep-in relax day. We generally try to get the chores done during the week so I can have a non-stress day too.
I really do listen to the answering machine messages to decide what has to be a now call and what can wait for a few hours.
Honestly, I have only recently been able to stick with this type of thing at all, but our days are happier and so much more enjoyable!
Try to start small – jot a list of things down today that you know you can fuinish tomorrow. Get up 15 minutes before anyone else. Talk to your husband about not interrupting for a 2 hour block so you can keep the kids focused to finish things. Seriously set a timer for 15 minute intervals and do both school and house things that way.
Your days sound very similar to ours. I know that the solution lies mostly with me and I have been working on it. My biggie is also trying to get dressed first thing so that I’m not still in my jammies at lunch. Rigid schedules do not work with our family either. My husband works midnights and just started a new business too, so we have to be flexible in order to make sure the boys can spend time with Dad when he’s available. We are definitely routine people but our current one is not very productive.
I have recently re-discovered my household organizer/binder. I love the week-at-a-glance pages that have EVERYTHING that I need to accomplish for the week in one place: calls to make, appts., to-do list, shopping list, projects, etc. I keep it on the counter so I see it every morning and add to it throughout the day.
I’m thinking about writing out a daily family routine on a large posterboard and taping it to the kitchen wall (like Super Nanny), with a smaller one upstairs for the older boys. The boys will need an incentive to get with the program because we’ve been out of sync for quite a while. So I may try a point system or punch cards until the habit is established. Our main issue is waking time because it sets the ball rolling for the whole day.
I’m certain I’ve not been much help to you but, at least, you know you’re not alone in your struggle to juggle it all.
I have found that I have a much more productuve day if I get up and shower and get dressed. I also feel it sets a good example for our children. However, I don’t always do that. I just know it makes the day go better. Even if you sleep in, you can still implement this.
As far as routines, we try to start at the same time each day but that never happens. My DH leaves the house by 6 a.m. and is not here until 4:30 or after. So, with 5 kids, I need structure and routine but also flexibility if that makes sense.
I try to have breakfast ready as the kids come down. I have one that would sleep late, but I require he gets up by 8. We eat anywhere from 7:30 to 8, and then the kids begin their chores. While they are eating, I often read a couple of verses and/or play worsthip/praise music.
They all work on chores while I clean up the breakfast dishes. By 8:45 (but we strive for 8:30), we have all brushed teeth, cleaned, done chores and are ready for group time. This lasts anywhere from 15 mintues to 30 depending on what we’re doing (art, Voice of the Martyr, etc.). This time always includes a devotional of some sort (ususally Keys for Kids), reading (and discussing) a passage from the Bible, group prayer time and reading from a book (right now, Stories of the Nations—love, love, love!).
Around 9:00, the children begin individual work.
And this is where it gets fun. At this point, I don’t have a routine and I feel like we need more of one. But honestly, it just doesn’t happen. For the next 2 hours, I am helping with various ones on math, reading aloud, narration, etc.
In the evening, we try to eat dinner at 5:30, but again sometimes it is earlier, other times later. DH sometimes does a family devotion/Bible reading after dinner while we are all still seated at the table. I wish it was every night but it is not. I just don’t feel it is my place to push for it. When he does it, I’m thankful. As for time, the end goal is littles in bed with lights out by 7:30 and bigs in bed reading at 8:30. This is the goal mind you, though it often doesn’t happen.
Yep, yep, yep!! You are so right. If this is going to get done, I will have to do it. Oh the will power it’s gonna take!! 😉
I have thought about getting something like Managers of Their Homes, but I don’t think I really need it. My problem is me….so spending $25 on a book will not fix everything. I’m going to talk to my husband and sit down tonight with pen and paper and make our routine. I already have lists scattered everywhere for things like: a master grocery list, meals we like, ideas for chores, and calendars with things marked. The kids have chore charts in their rooms that we need to update, and I just need to get it all put down on paper in a place where we can all see it! I will also have to push everyone (including myself) to do it all and then keep doing it all.
Thank you all for the comments and advice. I always get great advice on this forum 🙂
This site is very inspirational: http://lainesletters.com/letters.html The author decided to start waking up early and she writes about how she did it and the benefits. I need to work on this, and I’ve really been encouraged by her. She’s not natually a morning person, but shares how God has helped her. No judgment, no condemnation – she will just point you to Christ to help you with this issue. She is filled with GRACE – something I need when making a change that is just SO HARD.
On the same journey of getting organized,
Erin
Okay, I’m not sure why the link added those extra letters, so now it doesn’t work. Lainesletters.com should get you there!
Amanda, May I suggest a laminator?
In all seriousness, I have a master meal list that is laminated and hanging inside a cabinet door. I try to follow the store specials and pick meals from my master list for the next 2 weeks (try to go once every 10-14 days b/c it cuts down on our grocery spending as we are forced to use things in the back of the cabinet). I do go weekly for perishables though.I also have found a great way to do chores. I gave each child a 9-pocket page protector (the kind for sports cards). I made chore cards with pictures and simple words like “Vacuum living room” and a picture of the vacuum cleaner. I have 3 who don’t read and/or are just beginning so the pictures help with that. I just rotate them each day. DH came up with the idea of having a master list of which child gets which chores on M-F. This made filling the chart up nightly much quicker! We now have it mostly memorized and so do they, which probably means we need a change-up.
Our older three DSs (12, 11, 8) are assigned 8 chores per day (as one pocket holds their photo card w/name). The younger two (both 5YO) are assigned 5 chores a day. The chores range from quick to more complex. They also include chores we expect (e.g. making up bed, tidying up room daily) to ones they are compensated for if the job is well done (vacuuming, dusting, cleaning bathrooms, etc.). I know some don’t do allowance, but we do use this system for teaching them responsibility, privileges and saving and giving away.
I also laminated the cards and they have held up so well. I made them the same size as a sports card so they slide right in. The nice thing about this chore system as I can add in new chores/change as needed and it travels well–as in, our camper!
I also *try* (big emphasis on try) to do certain chores on certain days myself. This helps me to stay focused as with 5 children it never all gets done. At least this way I feel an accomplishment if I at least stay on task.
I can totally relate to struggling with staying on task and organized. One more suggestion I have is destuffing (yes, I made the word up). It is not just the clutter, but S.T.U.F.F. The more we have, the longer it takes to clean, organize, get out from under it, etc.
DH and I are going room-by-room and de-stuffing.
HTHI have been completely struggling with this myself lately. I have my year planned out with detailed weeks, but never seem to get a daily routine that’s manageable. But this past week I began searching for help and found a few things that have really been useful.
1) Previous posts on this discussion forum with gracious moms detailing their daily schedules have been a tremendous help.
2) A new ebook by Sarah Mae, 31 Days to Clean, Having a Marth House in a Mary Way. http://31daystoclean.com/
3) Ann Voscamp had a very timely post this week that was truly inspiring. http://www.aholyexperience.com/2011/05/pros-cons-homeschooling-christian-educatio/
It doesn’t work for me to copy someone else’s schedule, but I’ve gleaned SO much inspiration and ideas from examples I’ve seen from others. Anchoring tasks to certain activities of the day, outlining blocks of time, seems to work better for the long haul. This builds in a little flexibility while keeping me focused.
Tuesday evening I sat down and laid out a new daily plan that we implemented on Wednesday. It was one of our best days ever…we didn’t get caught up from a backlog of dirty clothes and chores, but there was new found hope that we could get a little order, peace, and fun in our lives. I have such a supportive husband and 2 very active boys that are very willing to try mama’s new ideas. I now just need to keep focused, build habits, and seach out inspiration when needed.
Alarm clocks and timers help me to keep on track better. I have a tendency to be easily distracted and lose track of time. Also, in Mary Kay cosmetics, they teach consultants to write down a list for each day of the Six Most Important Things to do Today. I sometimes do that as a quick list. It helps even though it is not as detailed as the planner.
)
In all seriousness, I have a master meal list that is laminated and hanging inside a cabinet door. I try to follow the store specials and pick meals from my master list for the next 2 weeks (try to go once every 10-14 days b/c it cuts down on our grocery spending as we are forced to use things in the back of the cabinet). I do go weekly for perishables though.
HTH
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