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Regret Free Parenting
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@bethanna, what I *think MissusLeata means by “multi-generational teaching” goes back to the paragraph I quoted from the book about we moms modeling what “normal” is to our children, that our sons will likely marry women similar to their mothers, and that our daughters will likely mother as they were mothered.
Because @MissusLeata has not read this book, she doesn’t see that what is meant by this is not the surface-level stuff like healthy eating, raising chickens, or even homeschooling. This book is not so much about the children as it is about the journey of motherhood itself and how God uses our children to refine us as their mothers. In my opinion, “multi-generational teaching” can be the surface-level stuff, but the paragraph I quoted did not refer to multi-generational anything. Again, I would simply suggest to @MissusLeata and the rest of us to read the book. I am not finished with it yet, but I can tell you that I am gaining a better understanding of God’s plan for my own heart as I walk the path of being a mommy. And while His plan for me includes raising children who love Jesus and follow Him, that is not the end-all of His plan. He has works to do in my own heart and character too, and He is using this long season of motherhood to accomplish those works in my life.
Blessings,
Lindsey
@bethanna, I have never read Clarkson’s book. I picked this book up on a whim because it was on the $1 clearance aisle. I had no idea it was going to be so enriching!
No, I haven’t read the book. It was the part about our daughters will parent like we do and our boys will want their wives to mother like we do that hit me as a caution.
When you’ve been in a system where the “way” things are done, in regards to parenting, are made into the “right way” and anyone who does it differnetly is “wrong,” you end up in a little corner with no room to be an individual. Not all women are able to homeschool. Some hate to cook. Some simply can’t breasteed. Some families can’t handle a family bed, others hate using a crib. Some women couldn’t live without their slings, others can’t stand them. I’ve been in cirlces where all of those things become issues of “doing it right” and mothers work hard to pass on the “right” way to do it. Then, if their daughter ends up not being able to or one of those things just doesn’t fit with her family, guilt is piled one.
We pretty much don’t parent at all like my hubby’s mom did and it’s an issue in our relationship with our in-laws. Getting passive-aggressive comments about how badly we are doing isn’t pleasant. And these aren’t issues of righteousness. Just parenting/personal choices.
So, if that’s not what the book means, that’s great. I just thought I’d mention it so if anyone else read it the way I did, they could be warned about going down that very hurtful road.
@MissusLeata, I completely understand your concerns. That is a dangerous mindset to be trapped in. This book, however, does not discuss what you refer to. It’s not a “do-this-not-that” type of book, but a book about embracing the season of motherhood as the most trying, joyful, frustrating, stretching, and wonderful time of a woman’s life. I challenge you to find a copy and read it for yourself. Then, I’d love to have more discussions with you!
Blessings,
Lindsey
I can understand what you mean, Missus Leata, regarding the criticism from our parents regarding our approach to parenting. In our case the critical, even hateful, remarks were directed at both choices (like homeschooling) and issues of righteousness. In our last “discussion” regarding such things, I asked my mom if she raised us exactly the way her parents raised her (of course she didn’t) & what did her parents say to her? I don’t think she answered me but she has NEVER given me a hard time since. Anyway… I am interested in the book Lindsey found b/c I need a good read about now. Uplifting & inspirational. A good night’s sleep too!
@bethanna, I believe some of the ladies found the ebook on Amazon for under $3 and downloaded to their Kindle or Kindle app!
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