Praise Junkie

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  • December 31, 2011 at 12:44 am
    suzukimom
    Participant

    I need suggestions for my daughter (6) that is a Praise Junkie and constantly asks for it…. 

    She has done this ever since she could ask for it.  I have always tried to give her appropriate praise, not all the time, not overdone, and generally things like for effort (“You really worked hard on that”)

    However, she is CONSTANTLY asking for praise.  I mean probably 10 times an hour…. sometimes it is now phrased as a self-praise, but I’m sure she is fishing for it.

    Things like

    “Did I do that good?”  “Was that Perfect?” “How do you like that letter?” (when doing copywork…)  “I was really helpful, wasn’t I?” “I’m sweeping this up very nicely”.  

    constantly….  I don’t think I’ve been handling it ok – I have sometimes agreed “yes, that was helpful”… I have tried telling her that she doesn’t need to ask me how she did for each letter (or whatever),  I have asked her how she thinks she did (and when she says “good” – I tell her that that is the important thing) 

    any suggestions????

    December 31, 2011 at 1:50 am
    jmac17
    Participant

    That’s a tough one!  My first thought is to try to turn it around so that she is evaluating herself without needing a confirmation from you. 

    Ask her what her favorite part is, what she enjoys about being helpful, how she knows she is sweeping nicely, etc.  She needs to be able to objectively and honestly evaluate herself, rather than needing you to do it. 

    Then, try to find chances to give her acknowledgements when she is not looking for it.  “I sure appreciate the help in sweeping the floor.”  “I enjoy reading your printing when it is nice and neat.”  “Thanks for the help.” Hopefully she will start to realize that praise is much sweeter when it is not solicited.

    A family lesson about humility might be useful too. Teach the idea that being humble means that we understand our own eternal worth and have a strong self concept so that we don’t always have to look to others or compare ourselves with others to build our self esteem. 

    Good luck.  Hopefully others will have more ideas for you.

    Joanne

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