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Potty Training Boys
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Hello ladies, I need some advice. My son has just turned 2 1/2 and when I place him on the toilet he will go number 1 and 2 with no problem. What I don’t understand is he won’t tell me when he has to go. I use the timer or watch the clock. I potty trained his three sisters, and this wasn’t an issue. I began with cloth training pants. When he would wet on himself, he would just walk up to me standing as if he had just gotten off a horse!! This has been going on for over a month.
I am unsure if mentally he isn’t ready or should I continue with the timer and maybe the light bulb will come on.
Any and all suggestions are appreciated, as I enter unchartered territory.
Rebecca
Having a cheerio or two for my son to throw in the toilet bowl (to aim at) is what finally did it for him. I have three girls and one boy and thought all would be the same. It wasn’t until I made it fun for him, that he finally started going on his own. I can’t say this remains the case. No accidents now (and of course no more cheerios), but I sure do have to remind him to empty his bladder whenever I see him jiggling. He gets so wrapped up in whatever he’s involved in that he ignores his bodily messages….a boy thing???
Good luck. 😉
Rebecca S.
Welcome to the world of potty training boys! I am in the process of training my 4th boy and one and only girl (b/g twins). My experience with ALL of my boys is that they prefer to wet themselves than run to the bathroom. I agree that they get too wrapped up in what they are doing. I still find myself making my 5yo go when I see him “dancing”. Maybe I will try the Cheerio trick with my youngest one and see if that makes the light bulb turn on for him. Good luck to you!
I’m having the exact opposite problem, my 3yo daughter absolutely refuses to have anything to do with potty training. Not that my 3 boys were any easier, just different. She’ll come to me after she’s done her business or ask to be put on the potty and then do nothing. Five minutes later she’ll come to me and tell me she’s wet or poopy. Any tricks to teaching girls??? With the boys, we just kind of let them self-direct, my five year old has been having accidents this holiday season. Too busy maybe???
This is a scary suggestion to some moms but it is what worked for two of my boys: Strip them from the waist down when you are at home. It helps to make them more aware of when they start to go. Wearing training pants to my boys felt no different than wearing a diaper so they never understood the idea of noticing they had to go until after they went. We had very few accidents with this method. If it makes you nervous that you will have to clean up a mess on the floor or furniture, have them sit on a folded towel.
And, yes, boys tend to get lost in what they are doing and seem to ignore their bodies until the last possible moment. 🙂
I decided finally that it seemed to me boys are not really “ready” at the ages we moms tend to think they should be. I had always heard that 2 was the age to potty train, but most of the moms with boys that I knew did this, it was actually the MOM who was trained–watching that little fellow every second and pouncing at the first sign he might have to go, or just taking him every few minutes. This drove me nuts. But since it felt like he “ought” to be trained at two, I kept at it for months until he looked up at me and told me I wasn’t fun anymore. Well, I wasn’t, and we were afraid to even leave the house. Sigh. Anyway, I decided that chances the boys could fail to train themselves before college were slim. 🙂 I bought them cute training pants, showed them at about 2 1/2 what “big boys do” and told them that whenever they were ready, to come and get me. I put their new training pants in a drawer and showed the boys where they were. Then I just forgot all about it and we went on with our lives instead. Never nagged, never mentioned it. One day, all three boys just went and got their pants and “trained” themselves, with almost no accidents. Now, this does require fortitude to listen to all the objections from friends and family members–two of my boys were between 3 1/2 and 4 when they did this, and my most stubborn was over 4 years old! Everyone had a fit, and I had days where I wondered if I made a mistake. That stubborn boy was READING before he trained himself. But he NEVER had an accident–not one single one. Ever. No stress, no yelling, no disappointment, just proud little boys who “did it all by themselves” So, kind of unconventional too, like Karen’s solution, but it worked here, so just tossing it out there.
I agree that boys don’t want to stop whatever they are doing to go to the bathroom!
I think wearing the cloth underwear helps. When leaving home or during the night, I used to put the “pull-up” disposible training diapers OVER the underwear. If the child wet himself, at least the entire outfit or bed didn’t get wet, and if the child didn’t have an accident, I could re-use the “pull-up” another time.
During the training time, I said repeatedly throughout the day, “time for potty!” Whenever the child used the toilet, I would simply say, “Ah, doesn’t that feel better than wet clothes?” I never overly-praised or said much more than that.
For the record, I thought my DD was much harder to train than my DS. Gender might play a role, but I think personality has a lot to do with it. My DS is always ready to move up to the next developmental stage before I’m ready for him, while my DD takes her own sweet time growing up. (And this is one reason I’m grateful to homeschool…they can grow at their own speed.)
Good luck. He will eventually be trained, I have no doubts about that. 🙂
Karen,
It is so funny to read that. We instituted naked time in our house because no one would keep their clothes on. Naked time was 15-30 minutes at specific time and then everyone had to be properly dressed. The boys soon lost interest in constantly undressing. But it was during this time that my older two trained themselves. With our now 5 yo ds we just showed him what was what and left it at that. He pretty much trained himself. I’m fairly sure this is how we will (not) train our 3yo dd, she knows what she’s supposed to do, she is just not interested. Luckily, she doesn’t go to preschool or anything so no pressure to get her trained or else.
I actually thought my boys were easier than girls to train as well. What I ended up doing for both of my boys, because I think, atleast in my boys’ case, it was an issue of not wanting to stop what they were doing, is strip them for a day. This really works, as they do make that connection between what they feel and what happens, and they KNOW where it is supposed to go. lol. This also gave me the opportunity to observe and “catch” them and move them to where they should be going potty. Number 2 training was always easiest for me, (all my kids were #2 trained before they were #1 trained) because I could see the “signs” and would immediately put them on the potty. If they know the feeling enough to go into a corner or hide, then they can know enough to do it on the potty. Once they knew it was expected, they did it. With one of my boys, it actually became a discipline issue, when I noticed that while he was wearing underwear, he would go into his bedroom, open the drawer where I kept the pullups he only wore at night and for naps, put on the pullup, pee and then put the cloth pants back on. When I saw him do this, it was incredulous, (yes I laughed in disbelief), but it was good because I knew what I was dealing with! lol. Little stinker. Anyway, I really think taking a day or two to be really attentive and watch them, possibly even strip them, and just make sure to move them to the potty when they begin to go, it doesn’t take long. They will get it!
Just my .02!
Ladies,
Thank you so much for your advice and suggestions. My husband and I enjoyed reading all the posts and discussing how we should approach this situation. I knew I could get some help from all of you. Thanks.
Rebecca
So what your saying is…DO NOT try and potty train John before the baby comes in May!? My girls were all trained about 2…hmmmmm….
I “worked at” potty training my dd (now 8 yrs) and she was the hardest!! My boys (now 7 and almost 6) did it on their own, even at night, by 2 1/2. Now I have a 2 year old boy who likes to wear undies and sit on the potty, but won’t go until you put the diaper back on him.
The best piece of advice I ever heard was to just let them discover it on their own. It’ll happen when they’re ready…
~Audrey
My ds was about 4 1/2 when he was ready to train. I can’t imagine him doing it himself at 2 years of age, he had too much to do! I tried to force the issue, but he will NOT do what he’s not ready for. I don’t think training pants help because they cannot tell they are wet. One day my son decided he wanted to wear his “big boy” underwear and that was the end of it…no accidents or anything.
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