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Patience and the not so good days.
- This topic has 6 replies, 7 voices, and was last updated 11 years, 6 months ago by
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Sometimes I question myself with being a homeschooler. It has become difficult at times during what I would call the not so good days. The most challenging area for my boys (5 and 7) is copywork. I haven’t formally began it with my 5 year old, because he just turned 5, but my 7 year old, can become easily distracted, to the point where he will not produce quality work. I then find myself frustrated and unsure of how to communicate with him. The worst part is they can see my frustration, which in turn brings them down.
This saddens me and even discourages me, because I want them to have a loving homeschool experience. I get upset when I think and feel they are not giving the effort I know they can. But I was raised rigid, where everything had to be a certain way, and I am beginning to notice the product of that upbringing. I do not want to give up on homeschooling, as it is the only option that is acceptable to our lifestyle, yet, I want to do it right for the sake of my childrens’ experience, I just don’t know how.
I don’t have a lot of specific advise other than to pray about it. We all have those frustrated times. Realizing it is the huge first step. If you reall lose it, I would also apologize to the kids. It is good for them to see that you are sinful too 🙂
I hear from people a fair amount “oh, I woudl never have the patience to homeschool” or “my kids would drive me crazy” or somesuch. And I think (don’t say) that there is a more basic problem there that they are just avoiding by sending their kids off to school. So in your situation too, I’d say sending the kids to a school would only put off the problem. The issue is in you (and we all have them, not just you) but you can work on it. Moms need habit training too.
Nebby
It is possible to work through blocks like these when you hit them – I know from experience! Don’t be too hard on yourself – it’s a great opportunity for you to grow as a person, so embrace it! I’d say, the key is to back right off and think again about your expectations (of ourself and your children). (I’ve hit challenges with both copywork and math, but happy to say we’re all now enjoying both of these again!) The issue I’ve found is my own impatience plus unreastic expectations (I naturally expect a lot from myself and therefore my kids too). So I’ve needed to recognise this and just pray for a really patient loving attitude, and at the same time just slow right down with the copywork or whatever it is that is the challenge. So just back right down to producing 5 good letters, or 5 good words/day, or whatever your child can produce in under 5 minutes. NO MORE! Remember Charlotte’s habits of perfect attention and perfect execution: less IS more! I found that I had to sit with my child for her copywork lessons – if I didn’t she became distracted. So we did just 5 mins sitting together and she began to enjoy it. Slowly I’ve been able to set a timer and can usually leave her to get on with it now. Now that she can see that she’s doing well, she is more motivated. I also had to change the curriculum I was using – I use the Penny Gardner Beautiful Italics for children, but we stopped doing all her excercises as may daughter found this boring. Instead we just use Penny Garder’s “font” and I let my child choose what she’d like to copy – eg a hymn, verse, poem. And if she gets it done in good time (over a number of days) she gets to illustrate it with pretty pictures, which she enjoys. I’d encourage you to get your son to help choose his passages to copy too. And most of all, just allow yourself the mental space to relax and to find satisfaction in each day’s little achievements – however little they may seem, it will feel a lot better than having lost your patience…and you’ll all be learning new good habits! HTH
I don’t really have an answer for you on the patience part because it sounds a lot like me! Raised in a very rigid atmosphere; but in our four years of homeschooling I know I have become more flexible and pliable if you will. Not wishy-washy and letting kids get away with stuff, but allowing them to try and do things on their own. This was hard for me at first but gets easier as time moves on.
As far as the concentrating; my 3rd grade boy has the same issues, which I beleive is the same for most boys this age. Some things I do to help him is have a good breakfast, and plenty of exercise before school. If we can we run laps outside around the house, on days we can’t go outside they run around the coffee table in the living room like a race track. And they do stretching and jump on a mini trampoline.
Also, I have been having problems with him not getting his math done and finally we told him if he didn’t get done by lunch time he would miss lunch. So far he has only missed it once. I don’t want to do that to him, but he has to learn to concentrate and focus on what he is doing.
Keeping lessons short also helps and I know many use a timer to keep track of how long lessons are.
Hope this helped.
I always thought I could never homeschool because I don’t have enough patience.
So it took a few years for me to get started, that was last year, my oldest was in 5th grade. I still think that I don’t have enough patience at times (many times) but I don’t feel that I need more than when they were in public school.
I found it very hard to deal w/the excess energy they had coming home after being in school all day and having to do homework.
Having them home also made me appreciate a lot of things in them that I was missing out on.
To me homeschooling is a lot of work but at the end of the day I am not more tired than I was when they were in school and everyone is more happy.
I think we all feel some of what you’re feeling at times. It is one of those reminders for me of what it is like to struggle and do something new. Can you believe this is what our kids feel with every new subject or increase in difficulty? Frustration, worry, sadness, panic. Not everything comes easy (for us it is patience), well for them a lot of the whole learning is not easy at first. it may even begin easy and hit hard parts where they want to give up.
I always pray for extra compassion and love for my children. It helps to see them as God does, as children who are trying, but who sometimes struggle.
Tristan! What an amazing point….
of what it is like to struggle and do something new. Can you believe this is what our kids feel with every new subject or increase in difficulty? Frustration, worry, sadness, panic. Not everything comes easy
I KNOW that I have not had one of my more stellar days as my son says to me tonight before bed:
“Mom, you get to talk to your friends tomorrow at church, right? That will help you relax.”YIKES. Yes, I have been silently raging today. Being super pregnant takes it’s toll but this is more than just pregnancy, it’s attitude and reaction. So, yes, frustration and patience are not easy. I could use laying down some new rails in my attitude. We all have less than ideal days that ooze out and effect our children. Praise the Lord for His mercy and forgiveness and grace.
I thank you, Lovethetruth, for being transparent. I pray your cup is refilled each day to help you through the amazing journey of homeschooling. It sounds like some weeding is being done in your heart and you can be sure that work will continue. Push on, breath… they WILL learn to write one day. Just as they learned to speak when before they could not. You can nurture them on this path. Don’t forget to equip yourself with prayer and personal developement both for the soul AND as a home schooling mother and teacher. It ALL matters and everytime you do a good thing for yourself in these areas it will HELP.
Hugs to you.
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