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OT: Questions to ask your daughter's courter
- This topic has 13 replies, 7 voices, and was last updated 14 years, 6 months ago by
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My oldest has a young man that is coming tomorrow to ask to court her. What are some questions you would ask him? We have a list we’ve made over the years but I’d like some more ideas.
Thanks!
These may not be first meeting topics, but may be helpful later in the courtship.
http://www.doorposts.com/samples/courtship-topics.pdf
http://ltpalculict.wordpress.com/2007/04/02/21-questions-for-a-prospective-suitor/
Heather
Will you please be kind enough to share what happens? I would be very interested as I have a 12yodd at home. She’s young yet to worry about it, but one can never be too prepared!
A few come to mind at first:
- What is your goal in life?
- Why do you want to court/marry our daughter?
- How are you prepared to provide for her physically, spiritually, emotionally?
I’d love to see your list, too, pollysoup.
We don’t intend to have a list of questions per say, but to have a “conversational tone” with him. My dh is meeting alone with him today to talk about male issues. I will meet with him on Saturday (my dh is not a Christian and I will ask him the moral/spiritual questions). Then we will meet with him together. Also, some questions we have tabled as we know the answer to them. For example. He is in his last year of seminary. His dad is our pastor. So we know he has a walk with the Lord. I will ask him to tell me about his walk with the Lord. I already know his life goal and so I won’t ask him that.
I have things that I’m not listing to talk with him about and hear his opinions but they aren’t questions. Also, I’m not listing the male questions but you can imagine what they are? These aren’t in order.
What would you say is your greatest strength and weakness and a person?
Are you ready for marriage? Please explain how. What do you need to do to be ready for marriage?
What are your career goals? How will you provide for our daughter physically, spiritually and emotionally?
What are your views on women working before children and after children?
Will you home school your children?
What do you envision our relationship with you being during courtship and marriage?
How do you think you will compliment my daughter’s relationship with God, us, her siblings, etc. And how do you think our daughter compliment’s you in your walk with God, and your family?
What is courtship to you? What does it look like? Let’s define the boundaries.
What are your expectations of our daughter during courtship and marriage?
What strength and weaknesses from your parents do you carry into your relationship with our daughter?
Thanks ladies for your help. Pray for us. 🙂
Pollysoup,
I am tucking that list of ?’s away for the future. Can I ask how old your daughter is? Thank you for posting this topic, it is so refreshing to know that courting still takes place in our very casual society.
Heather
Heather, My daughter is 19. Oh, how that sounds so young! At the same time, in many ways, she is ready. The things of her life have matured her beyond her years. I’m thankful for that.
Tonight went well. Round 2 on Saturday. Thanks for your prayers!
Polly
Polly~
I was engaged at 19 and married at 20. It sounds young now, but it has worked out well
. Praying for Round 2. I know it is silly, but this is so romantic. I bet your daughter’s heart is all a flutter………I remember those days.
Heather
I also was married young. Though courting was not part of it. I am hoping to find a good balance between courting and dating (for my dh is not totally for courting). I am hoping though that with the families we are around the most, and they do believe in courting that it will rub off on my dh.
I find that this list is just as good for my boys someday to ask prior to them wanting to ask a girl to court. So I also will tuck it away for my boys one day.
Misty
Ok, Ladies, please be in prayer for us. We are having an issue in one area. Please pray for us as we discern God’s will in this area.
Praying for you!!
I, too, was married young (engaged at 20, married at 21-though we were planning on something earlier) and not to my parents first choice. I believed, and still do, that this is God’s man for me, and it has worked out quite nicely so far! 😛 I only say that to encourage you to in addition to praying to talk to your daughter and give her intuition some weight.
I’m also reading this and being thankful that all I have are boys!! 🙂
polly, I will be in prayer for you. I have awhile before I have this to deal with but I will want to know that others are also asking God to help me/us make the right decisions.
I also, believe talking to your daughter about this area is a great idea. If nothing else to see how she feels about it and be able to move from there. Misty
Thank you for your concern and prayers! We have talked with her a lot. We know what she thinks and feels. Thankfully we are in agreement. The issue at hand is a “show stopper” for us. Until we are able to talk more with him about it, the relationship is on hold.
I too was married at 19. It was a horrible experience and we are divorced. My daughter is very mature and respectful toward us. She comes to us for wise counsel and I’m thankful for that. But, I don’t want her to make the same mistake I did.
It will probably be another week before we will know the outcome.
Again, thanks for praying.
Polly
. Praying for Round 2. 
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