I’ve been reading a book that has been very enlightening to me as a mother & wife (because the ideas to me apply outside the parent – child relationship). Anyway, thought I’d share as I think it fits with CM & what many of us want to accomplish with our children…a strong, healthy attachment. The book is “Hold Onto Your Kids” by Gordon Neufeld & Gabor Mate. There is also a good review & sort of summary of the chapters on a blog called The Parenting Passageway (think I have that correct) for those of you that might want that before investing time or money into it.KarenParticipant
Is that the book about why parents need to matter more than peers?
I read it, too, if that’s what you’re talking about. And enjoyed it!! The authors don’t seem to be blatant Christians, although they referenced a couple of Bible verses — but so much of what they said was spectacularly good stuff!! And so much of it lined up with what the Bible teaches about parenting.
I thought it was a very good book, too.Wings2flyParticipant
Thank you. I may read that one next. I have been reading The Five Love Languages for Children. It is not enough for us to love them and know we love them. They need to feel loved and know they are loved by us showing love in different ways, especially that of Their love language. It has helped me to think of showing love in more ways.
The Five ways are:
Acts of service
Words of affirmationelsnow6Participant
Karen- yes, that is the book 🙂 It really is full of wonderful things that are changing some of my thinking as a mom, solidifying some thoughts I’ve had about parenting, helping me see how attachment plays into other areas of my life & more! Wings2fly- I do highly recommend it & believe it will fit in well with The Five Love Languages info.AngelinaParticipant
Hi Ladies, this is timely for me, thank you for starting the thread. I will be putting Hold Onto Your Kids on my reading list for sure!
I was looking up The Five Love Languages just yesterday, and seeing that there are several versions out there. Does anyone have an opinion on whether the original is best, or whether the “for children” version is better as a parenting book. (the original seems geared – at least according to the publisher info – to marriage and strengthening communication as a couple…and I see they have a “singles” version and a teen version)
Have not read it yet, but another book recommended to me by a highly trusted source is “Boundaries” and “Boundaries with Kids” – both by Dr. Henry Cloud. The first, “Boundaries” was recommended as a great resource for struggles that come up when we as “grown up children” have issues with our parents (the grandparents) involvement with our children, how we are raising them, etc.KarenParticipant
The “Hold on to Your Kids” book was very helpful to me, too. I really needed to hear that it’s okay for my 9yo to be just a bit clingy. Hearing that helped my attitude, which has in turn helped her to not be so clingy.
And the “welcome your child” — saying “hello” or some other appropriate remark when they enter a room or wake up – I needed that reminder, too. I was finding that I do that with my younger chidren, but no so much with my older ones.
Also, reading that book reinforced the notion that I’d read elsewhere about sheltering our children. Sheltering our children is not a bad thing. Not that we raise them in bubblewrap; but that we give them what they can handle and explain the nasty things of life in terms that they can understand. The other book I’d read mentioned that God shelters us and we’re to do that same thing for our children. Shelter is never a bad word, accordign to the other book I’d read. (Wish I could remember that title – it was a homeschooling book.)
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