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On being the Holy Spirit
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God has shown me an area where I have erred and so, being an ‘older’ mom, I thought I should share this with you. I’ll just say it: I have started using our morning Bible reading time as an opportunity to hammer the children. I have an incredible ability to turn any Scripture reading around and start lecturing the children on their behavior. I have to confess that I am spurring them on to “Cindy-likeness” versus “Christ-likeness” and our children likely are beginning to see Bible time as Mom’s nagging time. I know that all Scripture is valuable for teaching and correcting, but I want to share that we need to be very careful not to hammer them with it. We want our children to develop a thirst for Scripture, not a desire to get somewhere else just for a gasp of fresh air! Well, whenever I share something like this I think, ‘No one else has these issues,’ but I did feel pressed to post this and so perhaps there is one mom who can benefit.
Blessings,
Cindy
No Cindy, you are not the only one to suffer from “Cindy-likeness,” although in our house it’s “Angie-likeness.” One of my kids eventually said, “why are you looking at me?” when I realized that I was starting at the “offender” paralleled in our lesson. They each knew what they other had done, even if we had talked about it in private, because I happen to be looking at the child whose behavior matched correction. I’ve repented of it and when I feel myself starting to look at someone, I simply look down. Childish, but it works.
Thanks for you honesty! Angie
Thank you, Cindy, for the reminder. I, too, have this inclination from time to time, but in our house it’s “Christie-likeness”. Long after my kids have repented of something, something in me just wants to keep lecturing them on the point. The Lord is working on me in this area and I am trying hard to reach the heart issues without beating a dead horse, so to speak, which is my natural tendency.
I just love the members of this forum! I love everyone’s honesty and willing to share and discuss all sorts of things without becoming rude or condemning of one another. This is now the only forum I frequent b/c I love how we build one another up!
Blessings,
Christie
Thanks so much for sharing this truth, Cindy. We all need to hear it (especially those of us who like to control things!).
And Charlotte would agree with you. She wrote in Volume 1, page 349:
“Above all, do not read the Bible at the child: do not let any words of Scriptures be occasions for gibbeting his faults. It is the office of the Holy Ghost to convince of sin; and He is able to use the Word for this purpose, without risk of that hardening of the heart in which our clumsy dealings too often result.”
“Hardening of the heart” is a scary thought . . .
OH Cindy, I know it is a God thing when I haven’t been on here for months and today is when I decided to get on and catch up with you guys. I needed to read your post and needed to be convicted of to much lecturing and not enough of the Holy Spirit’s working. Thank you!!
Shelly
Thank you. During our Bible reading today the kids just weren’t listening and my dd didn’t narrate. I closed the Bible and was mad. This is THE most important book and they aren’t listening. I actually said this to them! The Holy Spirit immediately convicted me on this. He impressed on me to just let Scripture wash over them always with sweetness; the rest is My job, not yours.
Thank you, Cindy! I want my girls to love to be with, listen to and be in His Word not remember mom was irritated. This is such an amazing place to be able to talk openly about raising our kids for Him!
Blessings to you all,
Cindie
Thank you, Ladies! I am encouraged. I will try to remember to look down, as Angie said (and while I do, I should also breathe a prayer!). I love the term ‘gibbeting;’ I’m going to remember that one. You know, I’ve never really had a peace about the Bible curriculums that are based on behaviors. Perhaps I’ve used them in a wrong way? You know, we so often talk about how the child needs to be left to make his own connections. Seems like I so often only apply that to subjects like history and science….
Cindy, I have to thank you along with the others. This was a timely post. I was just pondering over Galations 6:1 thismorning in response to a childs shortcoming…
“Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted.”
How we need each other to remember God in all His goodness towards us and our children!
Love in Christ, ~ Heather
“Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him” (Col. 3:12-17).
I have meditated on this passage all week. We are currently memorizing 1 Corinthians 1:4-8, and this one is definitely going to be next. I haven’t scolded my children with Scripture before, unless asking them to quote a verse that relates to the crime is considering scolding. For example, when they disobey, they have to quote Eph. 6:1. When they complain or whine, they have to quote Phil. 2:14.
This week, however, God just spoke to me about love. I have been emphasizing love over and over. Anytime I hear arguing or fighting or if someone hurts someone else, I immediately ask the offender if what he/she did was done out of love. I have also told them to think very carefully before they act or speak and ask themselves, “Am I doing this to show love toward my sister/brother?” If the answer is ‘no’, then they shouldn’t say or do that thing.
I don’t know if it’s working or not, yet. We’ve only done it this week, but it sure has changed my heart. I am much slower to speak when asking myself if the words I’m about to utter are out of love or not.
I’m curious though…what habit would this be considered? Respect for others? Kindness?
Love isn’t listed as a habit even though it’s the driving force behind all habits!
We had to discipline ds6 immediately after getting home from Wal-Mart this morning for misbehavior while we were there. Dh had gotten two valentine bears from the 75% off bin while we were there. A few minutes after the disciplinary action, he gave each child a bear. He told ds, “This is because I love you, not because you deserve it.” I thought, what a lovely picture of God! But I didn’t say anything. In light of this post, should I have?
Karen
Lindsey, you’re right, love is the fulfillment of all the law, and many of the habits stem from it. I think you could define the difference as love is the heart attitude and kindness or respect or whatever is the practical action that shows the love in different aspects.
Karen, good question. I think we, as parents, do need to speak truth into our children’s lives — whether in the form of teaching, training, correction, or encouragement. We are called to bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord and to talk about God’s truth all day in every circumstance. However, there is a big difference between discipling our children (as in guiding them) in love, applying Scripture as God brings it to mind in a gracious way, vs. using Scripture to berate them, beat them over the head, or otherwise gibbet our children for their faults.
I just wanted to say(as tears roll down my face) this is so the truth. I sometimes to find myself trying to hammering in the bible study we are doing when it is teaching of an offense that one of the children have recently done. I try so hard not to but know that I have when the youngest of my five started pointing out when a lesson particularly was speaking to another siblings offense. I to felt convicted and fell before my Lord with repent. I then tried to explain in a loving way to my children what I had done wrong and to explain it is not any of us here who are without sin and have the right to throw stones, point fingers or stares. But the scriptures, our Bible study time should be a time of love and gentleness. Something we look forward to and not dread for fear of getting the finger pointed at us by Mom or a sibling. That we should leave our hearts and toes to be stepped on by out Lord and not our family.
Hope this makes sense and has few typos and errors as I am very tired and can’t seem to find my glasses.
I was a faithful follower of this forum for a long time, and I have been long absent. I know that Lord pricked my heart to come on tonight so I could see this thread. I am convicted…of disciplining out of anger, of using Bible time as guilt time, of so many things… I thank you, Cindy, in your wisdom, for bringing up this subject. I also want to thank Lindsey for the extremely appropriate verses for me right now. You have prompted me to spend some time in prayer and the Word. I have missed you, Ladies, and your wisdom in matters of the heart. Thank you!
Faith 🙂
Cindy,
I havent been around these last few months but I am so thankful I was able to get here and read this thread. I truly needed to read this. Thank you for listening to the Holy Spirit and posting this.
This thread just keeps on giving. Thank you all for sharing. I’m in the middle of putting together our devotions for the year and here I am reading this. It reminds me to have the end in mind while I’m deciding what to do and how to do it. Love is what my son will see, if it’s there or not. Thank you thank you!
Toni
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