I may throw things off a bit here, but wanted to chime in because I enjoy talking about clothing, modesty, and fashion. I have always enjoyed wearing cute, sometimes trendy clothing. I love finding a good sale, and my favorite stores are Gap, Old Navy, and Charlotte Russe. (Gasp, I know.) I don’t like looking frumpy or out of style, although comfort is VERY high on my priority list. I do prefer looser clothing for comfort as well as hiding things that tight clothes tend to reveal.
But I do not like clothes that swallow me or are obviously too big. My husband also likes for me to look cute and modern, and he always gives his input on my outfit if something is ill-chosen (which is rare, but it does happen).
So, in answer to your questions from a 20-something, somewhat fun and trendy momma:
1. Sleeveless tops: Absolutely spaghetti straps are out. I’m not all that excited about the lack of muscle tone in my arms, so I prefer short sleeves. However, I don’t think sleeveless shirts are immodest, as long as the armpit doesn’t go low enough to show a bra or anything else and as long as the width of the shoulder covers from the bottom of the neck to the top of the shoulder. Does that make sense? If my arms were more toned, I would have no problems wearing sleeveless dresses or shirts.
2. Length of top: I would do a great disservice to America if I was to wear anything that showed my tummy.
But in all seriousness, I think each person knows their own comfort level. I don’t wear tops that show my tummy when I raise my arms or that show my crack when I bend over, you know?
3. Skirts or pants being too fitted: I don’t wear a lot of skirts because I genuinely am not comfortable in most of them. I do, however, wear a lot of leggings with long shirts or dresses. The leggings are fitted, but I never wear anything that would show my hiney or thighs. To me, leggings are the same thing as wearing tights, so what I put with the leggings are also things I would wear with tights. The benefit of leggings is that they don’t have feet, so you can wear flats or sandals in the spring and summer. In my opinion, if it looks like you were melted and poured into a pair of pants, they’re probably too tight.
4. Length of skirts and shorts: I personally prefer my shorts to fall right at the knee, like the Bermuda shorts someone else mentioned. Skirts would be the same thing.
5. Dealing with immodest people: On another post, I mentioned what we do with our children when we walk by Victoria’s Secret in the mall. We play a game where they hide their eyes and we lead them past. They don’t know we’re trying to protect their eyes from seeing half-naked women. They just think it’s a game! Although that’s one instance of how we deal with immodesty, that’s not practical all the time. Ds never notices immodestly dressed people, but dd does. I try to gently explain to her, without judging, that not everyone believes the same way we do about keeping their bodies covered (We actually say “keeping our present wrapped.”). As they get older, I’m sure we’ll come up with another non-judging explanation, but this makes sense to them right now.
6. We don’t avoid public pools at all. My children love to swim and having a large enough swimming pool in our backyard is out of the question. We actually have a summertime membership to a local town club, where we go nearly every afternoon in the summer. Now, we decided a long time ago that two-piece bathing suits that showed the tummy were out of the question. But, it’s not fair to my children to keep them from having a good time because other people don’t share our convictions. I find, at this age, that my kids are so busy splashing and having a fabulous time that they don’t notice others’ bathing suits. Our explanation above is what we use when the issue of immodesty comes up at the pool, and we just stick to our guns regarding our own beliefs.
I Googled “modest swimwear” last spring and found this website: http://www.limericki.com.
I ordered my swimsuit from there, and LOVED it! They are dedicated to modest swimwear. I think they are coming out with men’s and children’s swimwear this year. I’ll be ordering again this year!
Also, as to the cut of tops, I use the width of my hand as a guide. You can place your hand sideways on your collarbone, and if any skin shows below your hand, that’s a good guide for re-thinking if that shirt is too low-cut. That’s what works for me.
Great discussion!
Lindsey 