Life Whine

I’m sorry it’s so rough right now for you.  I can relate on a few points.  I have 3 kids, ages 7,5 and 2, and we live in a house that’s under 1000sq.ft.  Small.   I’m constantly cleaning things out, since the more stuff we have, the more work it makes for me! 
A couple things came to mind as I thought about your post.  My children are very early risers, between 5:30-6:00.  Not good.  Thankfully I’m an early riser as well, but I just didn’t see waking at 4:30 or 5 in order to wake before them!  What I now do, is make my 7 and 5yo stay in their rooms till 7:30.  I haven’t done it with my youngest (2.5) but I will once he gets older.  It’s not a perfect plan, but at least it gives me a little time in the morning without the craziness it was when everyone got up at once.
As far as your children’s behavior, or their complaining about chores, I would like to recommend the DVD series called The Case for Kids by Tedd and Paul Tripp.  We’ve been going through it in our Sunday school class (plus we have a copy of it) and I cannot fabulous it is!  It is very biblical.
The last thing I want to mention is that my husband and I each have a “night” to ourselves.  That doesn’t mean I go out with my girlfriends (once in a while I do), but rather, he takes charge of our kids, and whatnot while I have a chance to unwind somewhat.  Tonight I plan on shutting myself in our bedroom and reading a “just for fun” book for a couple hours, with a cup of tea by my side!  I know you’ve got a baby in there, so it may look different for you, but if you had some time to just relax once a week, it may help you.
Sorry I can’t give you more than that.

I just wanted to also say that I feel things get out of control and that I’m failing as a mom OFTEN.  Praying for you!

Suzukimom – do you really only want understanding? Then I hear ya!

Hey, I’m feelin ya too! 🙂 Here’s a {hug} and really, don’t be so hard on yourself. This really IS just a season. A baby makes everything harder – they need lots of attention and lots of stuff. I was so thankful when we were past that stage and I could get rid of all the accessories!  The room! I think its great how devoted your family is to music. I admire that. So what if its a little crowded and a little messy.

I do see how this is a season, as every stage in life has its seasons.  I think the same thing many days.  The baby does make it harder.  I agree 100% with all that Becky said.  Praying for you, too.

  As far as energy goes, if you can make aerobic exercises a priority, that would give you more energy and reduce stress and help clear your mind.  Start out small – only 10 minutes a day to start.  There are many Wii Fit programs out there for you.  Of course, you could do other workout videos if the Wii is a problem, until it is warm enough to go outside walking, etc.  The kids can get in on it with you.  You may think you do not have time, but in the long run it actually does make you more efficient.  I am trying to encourage you here, not lecture you.  I know because I have been there and the exercise really helps me feel better and get more done the rest of my day.  I am still not supermom.  But it gets better each day.

Have you seen Laying Down the Rails?  Pick one habit to focus on improving over the next 4 to 6 weeks.  Focus only on that one habit.  You can read Smooth and Easy Days:

 http://simplycharlottemason.com/books/smooth-easy-days-with-charlotte-mason/

It is wonderful that you have such a musical family.  Reminds me of Bach.

I can relate to so much of what you are saying! I have lots of sympathy, and a few thoughts.

When my youngest was about a year old, I was still totally exhausted all the time. I just figured that was just part of getting older and having three kids. I went to the doctor for something unrelated but for some reason ended up talking about being tired. She did some blood work and found that I needed thyroid hormone. It was like a miracle for our whole family when that stuff kicked in. I’m just mentioning that in case, like me, you hadn’t thought about any health issues that might be making things harder for you.

The other thing is that your kids are so young, academics really don’t have to be a big deal right now, especially for the five-year-old. With my youngest child I had a difficult pregnancy, delivery, and recovery. He spent his first month in the NICU. My other kids were four and eight, and we did not get much school done that year. I felt guilty, but they were fine. They still learned a lot that year, just from the life experiences we went through. In the long run, a year of not much school didn’t hurt them. Having a baby in the house just makes everything harder. It’s OK to not get as much done and for things to be chaotic, because it is just a season. It feels like forever, but it’s going to get better.

When you feel overwhelmed, sometimes the best thing to do is take a break from school and tackle the things that are bothering you the most. You could take a few weeks off, or you could do school four days a week and devote one day a week to cleaning, organizing, or whatever would make you feel more in control of things.

Don’t give up on the chores. It is worth it to keep training them, because eventually they are helpful. My almost 7yo still needs lots of supervision and isn’t a lot of help, but I don’t know what I would do without my 11yo! (The 3yo only makes messes, lol.) They have chores they do after breakfast and before dinner, and for half an hour in the afternoon we all clean together. I find the 7yo does a lot better if she is working with me, but I can send the 11yo off to do things on his own and he does decent work. A couple of times we have taken a week off from school to just work on teaching them how to clean.  I think the time spent is worth it, because they are going to need these skills when they grow up.

I’m also a mom of 4 (from 8-infant and my 8 year old is moderat functioning autistic) so I know a little bit of what you are going through.  It is hard to have consistency when there is a lot of chaos with little kids.  There are a lot of great ideas in this thread.  I started an extreme decluttering at the beginning of the year.  I went room to room with my 6 & 3 year old (really the 6 yr old did help — the 3 year old not so much) and we put laundry baskets in the room — one to put toys that aren’t in the right spot and one to give away along with a trash can for broken/dirty toys.  It was great to get rid of the excess that we had.  I try to get them to clean up one room a day — either the bedroom or living room.   I also agree with Amee  about the thyroid condition.  I was diagnosed a couple of years ago with hypothyroid and the small dose of medication I take has made a huge difference in my energy level.  I also use the crock pot more often — I make at least one or two dinners a week in it.  It is so easy — I put some chicken breasts with a cup of water, chopped carrots and potatoes and that is a complete dinner that can be either cooking for 8 hours on low or 3.5-4 hours on high.  I also started using chore schedule and giving out a small amount of coins (usually a quarter) for a job well done — that way the kids can save up for something they really want.  (That also helps if the kids are begging for toys at the store — they know they have to save up their own money).