kinesthetic toys/items

Well, my dd is actually 9; we didn’t get the adoption finalized till she was 3. Her “biological incubator” used drugs extensively while pregnat and then she was abused in the home until DEFACS took her and then she was shifted to 5 different homes during a 2 1/2 yr. time period. When we got her, she would have tantrums for up to 1 1/2 hours!She too used the headphones starting at age 7 and therapy cd’s which were very successful along with therapy at a Challenged Child Center until she ‘graduated’, but I was given paperwork to use with her at home, which I have failed to follow thru on. I can still have access to the cd’s, it’s just a 25 min. drive to go get them in a direction I don’t go in but once a month. I’m thinking I need to ask them if they will let me use them over a 4 week period instead of 2; gotta remind myself to make that call. Anyway, she still has so much to work on; I’m supposed to use the brushing on her skin, or have her do it herself; use the joint pressure techniques to stimulate her to calm her down. She sleeps as light as a feather and really doesn’t sleep very well; she gets warm, then cold-her temp. modulation is terrible. She is dysfunctional in all the areas described in the Out of Sync Child, with crossovers in some, if that makes any sense. I’m thinking about using herbs for temp. regulation mixed with the calming herbs to treat both areas at night.

My grandson, I don’t believe, has the SPD yet, but I can easily see it heading in that direction if his life continues in this direction. If my own dd had gotten the kind of help early, she would be better and I know there are things going on with him to not prevent him from going in the same direction. Unfortunately, I’m dealing with a son (the child’s father) who has turned out as a substance-abusing, deadbeat dad and my dd-in-law is now a single mom, seeking divorce, with our support . So the little guy is shuffled all over and living such an unstable existance right now-one area that glares out that I (and my hubby) can see his oral development problem in his eating habits and talking (the same we had with her because no one did the right thing for her at the appropriate developmental time) and the massive insecurity and hyperesponsive fears. Then we also see areas to be encouraged (we think he would love musical instruments and the above mentioned texture loves) that are obviously not being encourages and want to address those and help her there as well; his mom is responsive/appreciative to us and we try to make sure to be respectful to her position as ‘momma’.

I could go on and on; we are very angry and saddened by the direction my (step)son has taken. We are trying to help her as much as possible to offer little Benjamin as much stability as possible-she mentioned how much of a diffference she sees in him when he comes back from our home. We are praying that G-d will move her up closer this way so we can have the most inpact on both of their lives and reduce her babysitting costs and reduce his time with his other grandmother (my st.son’s mother-long story there, part of the problem); how much less my son will be meeting his obligations we shall see; he seems to enjoy the single life at this point than fulfilling his responsibilities.

Yes, it does get overwhelming; I have a son who is 9 1/2 who is completely opposite of all this but is demanding in other ways-extremely intelligent and can’t understand logically why his sister acts the way she does; my two surgeries in 4 years on my neck and the chronic side effects, my husband’s kidney disease, back surgery and seizures. So yeah, things get put on the back burner and then G-d brings them back to your attention. However, both of mine are very helpful and my prayers will be answered that G-d will use the events in our lives as a benefit to the plan and purpose He has for theirs.

Sorry for rambling and getting very personal; I also don’t mean to sound whiny or self-pitying, I despise that and find no use for it and I don’t feel that way; I just sometimes get weary and the past week has drained me. G-d has provided and answered many prayers so my faith in Him is firm (my latest surgery 4 weeks ago was tremendously successful). He gave me the constitution to deal with what He sees fit to allow in our lives and “all things work together for good to those that love him and are called according to His Purpose”.

Thank you your encouragment and ideas. If you come across anything else, I appreciate it.

Rachel