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Introverted moms – how do you deal?
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I’m a classic introvert in the sense that spending time with people wears me out and spending time alone gives me energy. While I truly love teaching our kids, I need to find ways to get little pockets to myself in the day!
My kids are 6 1/2 (twins) and 4. Naps have been a thing of the past for a LONG time (even for the youngest). And I suppose having an afternoon ‘quiet time’ would be logical but I need someone to hold my hand and walk me through how to start. We live in a big city in a small apartment. The three girls all share a bedroom. For some reason it seems more overwhelming since I can’t just send them each into their own rooms.
Help?! Thoughts?!
I try to get to bed early and to wake up early, if I am lucky I get one hour of quiet time in the morning!
When I need a break during the afternoon I send them all outside but I know that would probably not be possible until your kids are a little older.
For quiet time, start small. 15-30 minutes. They could be anywhere in the apartment. On their own beds with a book or books or listening to audiobooks or playing quietly. You could put them in different rooms, it need not be their own room. Play and see what works for you.
My 1, 2, and 4 year old still nap. When I need quiet time, my 6 year old will spread out a blanket behind the couch in the same room and color. She often falls asleep.
Chamomile tea is my friend. ;0)
Quiet coloring with soft music.
Everyone picks a book to look at/read with a pillow in favorite spot.
Early kid bedtimes and early Mom rise time.
Weighted blankies for everyone. It’s like a hug that reduces stress…..alternative….real hugs with quiet whispers.
I’m bad. I stay up late, while they’re all sleeping, and read or think. Some days, I’m worse! I actually park them in front of a video (for 1/2 hour to an hour) and do what needs to be done (bookkeeping, thinking, any of those quiet-needed activities). Some days I’m better and I kick the kids out of the house! And call them back in when I’m done doing what needs to be done.
We do have a daily quiet time, but it seems that some days I need a nap and therefore my quiet-needed activities don’t get done.
I ought to look into weighted blankets- that sounds like something I’d like!
Agreeing with the audiobook idea. Perhaps spread a blanket on the living room floor, make some popcorn and let them listen to a book, or drama while you rest in your room (with the door slightly cracked!) I am with you, people wear me out too. I give as much as I can but when I am done, I’m done! Also consider Adventures in Odyssey, the little will probably be able to understand and enjoy those too. There is a thread right now that deals with audio books for a four year old book, perhaps you can follow it for other ideas.
I also like to wake up earlier than my children. My husband is out to work early, so I am usually guarateed at least 30 minutes to myself in the morning. On rare occasions when I don’t have that time, I am all out of whack all day!
We live on a farm so I usually send the kids outside when we finish our morning lessons, so I can have a little time to breathe. If I lived in the city as you described, I might encourage them to play together in another room for a little while so I could have some time for myself. It does sound selfish, but I realize it is not. If I feel refreshed, it is easier to be pleasant, patient, and peaceful. If I am run dry from too much time with others, I am grouchy, impatient, and ugly.
Can you go to a park or nature reserve? Being out in nature can have the same affect as “me-time” (at least for me).
Thanks for posting this! I feel like everyone I know in real life is an extrovert and loves to be on the go and around people. Not that I am antisocial. But I prefer to intersperse my time with others with time alone! Glad to know I’m not alone with those feelings!! 🙂
I am the same way as you all have described and other people just don’t get it. My friends and my kids are always telling me that I need to get out more, lol. I don’t have small kids so I’m no help there.
I love to be around people, but when I’m done, I’m done. I don’t want anymore. I need time everyday with out kids wanting my attention. We have independant play time for 1 hour everyday. And honestly my kids need it just as much as I do. We all need time to not be around other people. My kids are allowed to look at books and the older on can color. My youngest goes in the pack n play with 1-2 toys and I usually put on music for them.
I am this way too, although I did not realize it until more recent years. I do my best work at night when the kids are in bed, but I get so focused on the task at hand that I lose track of time and do not get enough sleep. Last night I went right to bed after the kids were down because I needed the sleep much more than anything. So working at night is okay, as long as you use a timer or something to manage your time and get enough sleep.
After lunch is our quiet time. It starts with an episode of Mister Rogers on Amazon Prime and then 30 minutes more of independent reading. This is when ds9 does any reading assignments for school. Then he reads his choice with any time left. My younger plays quietly with quiet toys or looks at picture books. I play classical music then.
Also I need some down time later in the day after school, after chores, after preparing supper and it is in the oven or on the stove. I usually watch 30 min. or so of tv, usually 19 Kids and Counting on Netflix. Then I am good to go again.
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