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I Want A Change!
- This topic has 8 replies, 7 voices, and was last updated 12 years, 2 months ago by
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Homeschooling this year has been horrendous for us. My oldest, 10th grade, is using Christian Liberty Academy, and I have two 8th graders, a 6th grader, a 4th grader, and a 1st grader (plus a toddler running around) using mostly Rod and Staff. The corrections alone are overwhelming. The paperwork is never caught up. I can’t get kids motivated, and keeping track of everything is burning me out. Dh and I have been talking about switching to something like CM, and as I look it over I am wondering why I didn’t make the switch years ago.
My main concern in my 10th grader. At this late in his at home education, is it worth changing? He is bucking my authority with the curriculum he is using saying “I won’t need this or that” because he apparently thinks he knows everything that pertains to his future. (ha! Don’t you love teenagers?) I like the more relaxed approach CM offers, and we have done such things as unit studies, lapbooks, some narration, etc, so the concept isn’t totally foreign to me. Like I said, it is pretty much a conclusion that at least the younger kids will be switched over, but I’m second guessing the olders, say, 13 and up.
One thing is for sure, I cannot, and will not do another year like this one. I am ready to throw the kids and the schoolbooks out the window. (Okay, maybe not the kids, but you get the frustration here, right?). Thanks for any imput, and for reading this question/rant.
~Lisa
It sounds like you have already made a decision. I think CM will be a wonderful, refreshing change for you! I don’t have teenagers yet, so take that into consideration, but if your 10th grader hates what he’s doing anyway, why wouldn’t you want to change it? The curriculum guide on SCM is so simple and easy to implement! It’s mostly just reading good books together. And it sounds like all of you could really benefit from just enjoying each other for awhile, (maybe a month or so?) while you get your plan in place and work on habits. This website and the moms who frequent it are a wealth of encouragement and information. Take advantage of it! I hope this encourages you, as well:
Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.Isaiah 40:28-31
Lisa…we are in the process of switching to CM and I should say it’s been a 2-3 year process 😉 This is our 5th year of homeschooling as we started when we pulled a 6th grader out of public school. Not knowing any better, I started with traditional textbooks. Then we added 2 younger children to the mix dabbling in the classical method. And since, we’ve morphed into Charlotte Mason.
After tons of research, CM really makes sense. Our older daughter is now in 10th grade. She’s always been an avid reader so “living books” vs. textbooks are very appealing to her. In the process, we did try Rod & Staff and she felt suffocated by it. CM Language Arts is much friendlier, but still very intellectual if applied correctly. We use CM methods for history, Bible, language arts. We use Math-u-See math and Apologia science. There are ways to mesh different methods of teaching. Don’t feel it’s all or nothing.
HTH, Melissa
You would be able to combine all your kids using the SCM guides by Sonya.
Your 10th will love it!
I have graduated 1 and have a 16yo who love doing school this way– all of their public school friends are always telling them how lucky my kids are– and asking if I would HS them ; )
We don’t do all of the CM stuff– like poetry — just make it work for you— everyone here will help you get started— just ask away and enjoy.
Have you and dh discussed this with your 10th grader? Young men this age DO feel like they want some control over their lives and time. And since they definitely DON’T know everything
they do still need guidance. But you are going to get a LOT farther with a reluctant and recalcitrant teen boy if he feels he has at least some choice and control. What do you see as ESSENTIAL for him? What does he? What are his future plans? What method will best help him get there? What would help HIM be more willing to work to get to the goals you agree on? I never make a serious change at high school age without involving the high schooler in it. Doesn’t mean I turn it over to him, but I need his input and he needs to consider and pray and have some input to feel control. You also need to consider having him under the authority of your dh or another godly man if you can. Moms are CRUCIAL but there is a place when you have a young man that he needs to be responsible to another man. It just works better. I don’t always like it myself, but I’ve found it to be true. So I think you need to prayerfully consider what you want your 10th grader to do, then present to him a couple of different ways to get that done (different methods/curricula/approaches) and then work together to find the right solution.
Good luck!
Thanks Bookworm for summing up what I was thinking when I read threw. I must say that he may feel he isn’t going to be a rocket scientist so why does he need to learn all this material. He may not be planning on going to college.
Does he know what he wants to do out of High School? You should go to an area University and look at options if he doesn’t. Then, depending on what he picks as a carreer lean his studies towards getting into college courses. If he doesn’t know what to do, go with what his strengths are. He could go into a carpenters or plumbers appenticeship. He may just be happy with working at a gas station but you should make him understand that his wages won’t be very much and that his wife will have to work too. You might want to add how it will be harder on his family if they ever want to homeschool. His decisions today will make a way for his future whether they are poor decisions or good. How he desides and when he desides will determine how long it will take for him to accomplish his goals. The longer he waits the harder it will be for him to accomplish the goal. There are 12 year olds out there going to college. They are determined to get it out of the way and move on with their future. 🙂
Hope it works out for all of you! Take it one day at a time! 🙂
Thank you so much for your helpful responses. Some points:
Yes, I’ve already made up my mind to at least start on some CMS, next term, as Dh and I want some time to read over the many excellent articles here, and do some research of our own before we jump into it.
Bookworm, you made a great suggestion. I hadn’t thought about asking my 10th grader his opinion. He hasn’t been shy about voicing how much he dislikes the current curriculum.
So far he wants to be a truck driver because of the pay scale. Not the cross country kind, but local driver, the kind that does short trips and does their own unloading and loading.
I am NOT on board with this. Mainly because I do not believe he has seeked the Lord and is looking mainly at the money aspect. So of course, when he is doing a book report on the Odessy, he thinks it is for no good reason. I told him World Lit IS important because it stretches your imagination, teaches good literature, etc. Also, not to toot my own son’s horn, but the kid is a brainiac, and I believe that once the novelty of truck driving wears off, he will be bored to death with the job. You have to understand, he is 15, and looking forward to getting his license within the next couple of years, so anything driving with a good (whatever that means) payscale seems perfect to him. Ha! Oh to be a teenager again, eh? No offense to anyone, anywhere, but he is going to need a job where he utilizes his brain a lot. He has a propensity for building and finding out how things work, but hasn’t the interest to really persue it. All that to say, he really is a smart kid, even if he has no wisdom right now, KWIM?
I will discuss this all more with Dh and have him read your suggestions. Thank you again for taking your time to address my post! I’m really very excited about switching over!
Ok, Beehiveof9, I see why you are concerned. However, I’m going to give you some advice as a mom of teen boys. Do not try to dissuade your son from this choice at this time. In fact, help him find out what he needs to do. Take him to the CDL school. Interview over the road truckers. Interview their families. Find a godly one and SEND HIM ALONG on a short trip. Make sure he realizes 1) the real requirements for the job 2) the everyday reality of the job and 3) you believe he can do this, OR anything else he wants. Even if you fight this with every cell of your being, you cannot control what he decides to do with his life. He may still choose this! But at least he’ll do it with eyes wide open. AND he may very well decide it is not just what he wants.
Also, I want to urge you not to worry about his being bright. Over the road trucking is not a stupidity sentence. There are bright truckers. In fact I know a guy who listens to college lectures over his stereo while he drives. He has LOTS of listening time and he is an auditory learner so this suits him very well. Also, very bright people can still do jobs that are a little tedious and below their intellectual capacities and it won’t hurt them. (Think moms of babies and toddlers, lol!) Either he’ll find a way to deal with it OR he’ll decide he wants more and do what he needs to do to find another job. Don’t stress over this. Did you know the average teen today will change occupations NUMEROUS times over their working lives? Do stick to your guns on learning basic things every human being ought to know. But don’t fight the career choice. Help him gather information instead. Have him meet good men in a variety of jobs and talk to them about their jobs, what they wish they’d done differently, and how their job choice affects their families. Fifteen is still young and the chances are good that he will change his mind. BUT if you come out blazing in opposition, he very well may dig in his heels. (This is the voice of experience, lol, I have an 18yo and a 16yo!) This is not what you want. God made him strong and you can’t drag him out of this.
And DO give him your basic requirements (backed up by Dad if possible!) and then allow him to help find the methods to meet those. You will likely find in a year or two that you have a very different boy!
Hm… I’m sure my words wouldn’t make a difference to your son, but my brother was a city delivery truck driver – and my husband has been a long haul trucker. Definitely not what I’d recommend.
My brother was young when he became a Truck Driver. With his job (and most in the city delivery jobs) he had to load and unload. He was only about 22 or 23 when he was already having enough back problems that he knew there was no way he could do that for his whole life. He went back to school, and eventually became a Computer Engineering Technologist… he is now head of a department for the whole country in a big company in the States… earns way more than he would as a driver…. but it wasn’t an easy process. He had to do a “pre-technology” program, and then the computer program for a couple of years… and of course a lot of experience after that. btw, city traffic, backing up into awkward locations etc… not fun.
My dh did long-haul trucking. He could be away for 28 days, and home for 2. Costs of being on the road were so high, that it cut down significantly what he earned. He did try buying groceries and making food in the truck – but then he’d get sent across the boarder and would have to leave most of it there. And getting to any place to shop on the road was horrible.
If this is what your son feels set on – I’d point out that plans can change, and require what would be needed for a general science or general arts program at a community college at least…. just to keep his options open. that might be hard to sell to him… but worthwhile.
btw – from my life… in one job (as a computer software developer) they came up with a wage system. Imagine 2 people. If they both did “Satisfactory” work (on job evaluations), had the same number of years of experience – someone with a University Degree in the company (20 years ago) earned $700 a month more than someone with a Technology Diploma. So – for exactly the same work, etc… the piece of paper was worth $8400 a year more – 20 years ago. Something to think about.
they do still need guidance. But you are going to get a LOT farther with a reluctant and recalcitrant teen boy if he feels he has at least some choice and control. What do you see as ESSENTIAL for him? What does he? What are his future plans? What method will best help him get there? What would help HIM be more willing to work to get to the goals you agree on? I never make a serious change at high school age without involving the high schooler in it. Doesn’t mean I turn it over to him, but I need his input and he needs to consider and pray and have some input to feel control. You also need to consider having him under the authority of your dh or another godly man if you can. Moms are CRUCIAL but there is a place when you have a young man that he needs to be responsible to another man. It just works better. I don’t always like it myself, but I’ve found it to be true. 
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