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I think my son may have ADD and other issues
- This topic has 8 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 11 years ago by
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I am in tears right now and not sure really where to post this. I have posted before about my son’s issues with fine motor skills. I thought he just didn’t want to try and now I’m not so sure. He gets frustrated easily and I cannot keep his attention at all. If I tell him to put his shoes on for example, he acts like I’m not even talking and then he’ll begin telling me something completely irrelevant. I have to tell him at least 10 times before he has actually heard me. I want to beat my head against the wall! It is really hard to explain. I’m not sure who I need to take him to see as far as his writing skills are concerned. I am still not sure if he just can’t do it or can’t focus long enough or what. When I have him do activities with tweezers or cutting or other things like that he does fine. But when it comes to basic writing strokes like drawing a line to connect two dots, he just can’t seem to get it. BTW, he is 5 1/2. I’m genuinely worried and feel like I’ve been working forever with him and have gotten absolutely nowhere.
Where do I go from here? Who do I take him to in order to find out if there are actually issues?
Oh, Momof3, I can hear the worry in your post. ((((hugs)))) It will be OK! It can certainly be sorted out over time and he is very young still. You have lots of time to get is sorted.
Speaking as the Mom of 3 boys aged 25yo to 4yo all with a variety of special needs, the things you describe can be very typical of boys in general and not necessarily indicate a problem. Even if your others are older and were not like this, they each have their own bent and their own path.It is OK for this one to be different.
My suggestion would be to lay off the academic instruction for a while. A couple months woud be good, but even waiting until school starts in the fall would be fine. Let him play and dig in the dirt and ride his bike and whatever other little boy things he likes to do.
In the mean time work on the habit of attention. Find things that fascinate him and help him learn to focus for longer times. Encourage him to color inside the lines and draw his own pictures (helps finger control). Read to him, write out little notes that he dictates for messages to Grandma and Grandpa. Show him how you use written langauage for grocery lists, etc. IE show him how useful writing is to help him be motivated to learn it.
Spend the time to gently get him to give eye contact every time you talk to him and repeat your instructions to help him remember them. After the 3 millionth repetition he may start to get it. If not, then go on to 3 million and one. 😉 He is likely not being defiant, he just needs training. Sometimes they need more training then others.
When you start the academic instruction again you might want to try a different writing program. I like Handwriting without Tears. It can be pricey, but I made most of the extra materials myself and it really helps with the cost.
In a few months if you see no improvement in his ability to focus and you try again to work on writing skills and it is no better then you can talk to the pediatrician. The pediatrician can order an evaluation that can figure out what is going on.
(((hugs)))
Hi momof3! I’m sorry you are frustrated. Your son is pretty young, so it is possible that it is just normal 5yo boyness.
Now take this bit of advice from someone that is “a hammer, so everything looks like a nail…” (that is, I’m dealing with 2 instances of this at home, so might see it where it isn’t….) Some of these symptoms are symptoms of dyslexia. But they can by symptoms of other things (or maybe, as I said, within the realm of normalcy….) The things that I noticed was the tying shoes problem, the writing problem, and the trouble with following directions. The problem with focusing on something that isn’t working write can happen with dyslexia too…) But again, I repeat – I may be just seeing things in your description to come to a wrong conclusion.
What you can do and what resources there are varise from location to location.
I think, in the United States, that the school system legally has to provide testing (you can decide if you want to use any resources they offer to help after that.) [unfortunately, that doesn’t seem to be the same here in Canada – sigh].
Another option would be to take your son to your doctor, with the list of symptoms/concerns, and see where he/she would refer you too. Possibly a Developmental Phsycologist, or an Occupational Therapist, or maybe even someplace else… (say an Audiologist to rule out Auditory Processing Disorder, or other things I haven’t even thought of.)
If your son does have a learning disability, or a motor disability, it probably will feel like you are working forever and getting nowhere… but there will be progress, even if it is slow… and it is important to think of things as a marathon, not a sprint.
hope that helps!
Hi momof3! I am a mom of three boys who are now all older teens. I just want to encourage you and tell you I believe the things curlywhirly shared are the very things that helped my boys. Establishing that habit of attention is so important. Another thing that made a huge difference was teaching them cursive first. It really helped with reversals – this was an issue with two of them. Please know that there are others here that have experienced the same feelings you are experiencing….you will make it through this. 🙂 (((HUGS)))
The motor skills can be dealt with in OT if it truly is a problem. My dd had fine motor problems and was in OT for a while. She can write very nicely now and she LOVES cursive. If you want some sort of evaluation, start with your pediatrician. If another doctor is recommended, he/she can refer you to someone.
Another area my dd had problems with is auditory processing. You should be able to tell if your son is just not obeying or if what you are saying is not registering. It could be an attention problem. We did not have our dd officially tested, but we knew she was not processing certain things in the right way. I was searching for any help I could get. One place there is some interesting information is http://www.diannecraft.org. There is information there to help identify blocked learning gates. Your son may be a little young to determine these things, but it is there for reference if you feel there is no progress in certain areas.
He is young, so don’t despair. Maybe you could just let go of school with him until fall. I know what it is like to have major frustration doing school with my dd(I also had trouble knowing whether she just wasn’t trying or if she really didn’t get it), and I feel guilty then, because I feel I’m causing dd to not like school. It’s going better now that we have gotten some help. Not actual testing, but evaluation that has pointed to dyslexia. Most kids with dyslexia have ADD. My daughter has attention problems. She would frustrate and refuse to work when I put her in a private school for K. It was looked upon as a behavior problem. It has brought me much relief to feel I have resources now that are going to help her progress. She is almost 10, so it can sometimes take a while to find something that works. But, help is out there.
Pray for wisdom. Give your son some time and explore the options available if you need them. You will need to determine what is best for your ds, but don’t be stressed. Everything will fall into place at the right time.
Pam
I thank you all very much for your understanding and advice. I am trying to calm down after my meltdown the other day. I’m still undecided as to how I will proceed at this point but will update later.
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