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I feel like I'm failing as a teacher
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My son came to me after Sunday school today very upset. He said he is the only one who is a bad speller. He said they had to write some things today and even his 6 year old cousin can spell better than him (he is 8). He said we really need to work on his spelling because e was really embarrassed. I haven’t done formal spelling at all. Where do I begin?
Also, he isn’t as good of a reader as others his age. I haven’t been comparing but lately he has. He hates to read and I really need to find him some good reading material that will interest him but not frustrate him.
Basically, i am upset too because some family members who didn’t agree when I decided to homeschool said, ” well, the only good thing is your kids will probably be advanced compared to their peers”. Now i just feel like I’m completely inadequate as a teacher.
I guess I just need some encouragement and suggestions. Thank you for taking the time to read this.
First of all, (((HUGS)))
Second, my 8yo is like your son. She *finally* just picked up reading enough to not need to do reading practice with me. She is a terrible speller. Which is understandable. If you can’t read, how can you be expected to spell well?
Third, while my 9yo is a strong and voracious reader, her spelling is still atrocious. LOL We just started Spelling Wisdom this year. We will see how it goes, but so far, I am totally not worried.
Fourth, remember we are on a different path than most, so our journey is going to look different. So same aged kids will not learn the same things at the same times. Remember not to compare apples to oranges. Also, each child is different. So even within the same approach to education, different kids will be at different places at different times based on their strengths & weaknesses.
Who knows? This experience may spur him on to work that much harder at reading & spelling.
You are not failing. You are pouring your life into your child and giving him the best education possible because you love him enough to do so! I know it seems trite to say who cares how he compares to others. But, I’ll say it anyway…who cares? The educational path you’ve chosen for him may not develop or give him the same skills at the same time as government schooled children, but the skills will develop and they will last! He’s not learning to memorize/dump, memorize/dump like government schooled kids are taught they have to do in order to make it through the system. I was very good at that in school and I remember so little! You have chosen a path that will give him a love of learning which is something most government schooled children will never have because it’s been crushed out of them.
As far as comparing, I remember a mom once telling me her daughter could diagram a sentence when she was 6. After I got over feeling awful since my 8 yo dd at the time barely knew what a noun was, I remember saying to myself, “Why? Why does a 6 year old need to know how to diagram a sentence…to pass a test?” Then I realized that listening to others’ comparisons was a downward spiral and a waste of time.
I think I would find out what he had to write in Sunday School which embarrassed him so badly. I’ve taught Sunday school lots throughout the years and never once asked an 8 year old to write anything more than their name. That aside though, Spelling Wisdom with prepared dictation worked wonders for my poor speller and I’m amazed at how she spells now. We’re only halfway through the first book at that. But, I wouldn’t start that until he is reading well. My son is 8 and is a somewhat struggling reader as well. He’s just begun to develop his reading skills within the last couple of months, but I’ve started him on the Treadwell readers which you can get from amazon (link below) and he doing fine.
You may even be able to get them online free somewhere.
Please don’t beat yourself up. It’s hard sometimes to trust the CM methodology because you don’t see results as fast as other methods. Trust me, I’ve jumped ship a time or two, but I see now the results of this gentle method and the reasoning behind it.
Hang in there!!
What have you used to teach him to read? Does he still need lessons or just more practice for fluency? Do you have him read out loud to you daily? For readers I suggest looking at the Sonlight catalog or online and check those books out from the library to assign to him to read. We started Explode the Code with SL and have continued with it. It helps with reading by phonics, vocabulary, and spelling. There are many spelling options available. Does he do quality copywork daily? Every child is different and you are teaching to the child, not the curriculum.
My children are younger so I don’t have any particular advice on spelling, however I would encourage you to help your son work hard at something he wants. Nothing will spur him on more than his own desire to learn. It sounds to me as though that’s more of the issue, timing wise, then whether or not he can spell, otherwise I wouldn’t worry about his spelling. His feelings should be considered and the subject shouldn’t be shrugged off as a for- later-subject just because he’s not the exact age to start CM spelling.
Thank you for all the replies first of all. My son has been reading for since before Kindergarten. I taught him using Hooked on Phonics and he was way ahead in his K public school class. I started hs’ing in 1st grade. This is our first year using CM methods so before this he was reading whatever early readers and then chapter books he wanted. He has always thought of reading as a chore though. Now he is using Pathways readers and likes them ok he says but still doesn’t enjoy reading. I think because he doesn’t enjoy reading, he isn’t as proficient as he could be because he only reads what he absolutely has to to satisfy me. I would really like to find something that would peak his interest in the beginning. Any suggestions for a boy his age?
He does copywork using Proverbs to cursive from SCM but that is about it. He is also doing the workbook pages that come with the Pathways readers but absolutely hates them.
He is REALLY wanting to improve his spelling now so I really want to help him. I’m just not sure HOW
Sorry, wasn’t finished typing but computer was acting up. I just am not sure how to help him improve his spelling. I don’t really want to spend a lot right now. Any suggestions would be appreciated for reading books and spelling. Thank you.
When my reluctant reader needed to begin reading more I did allow him to read the My Name is America series. He read a few, and some of them twice, then quickly burned out on them and slowly began to read better quality books. The series is not horrible, but not want CM would necessarily consider good for our kiddos. But they did get my son started. He doesn’t read them anymore and my middle ds has never read them.
This same ds of mine has needed more help in spelling as well. I increased his copywork and have seen an improvement. There are many different Spelling programs, which I think are mentioned above, that probably work wonders for some but I haven’t been able to incorporate them into our schedule yet.
Could you interest your ds in extra copywork (not a ton, mind you) from selections of his choice?? Scripture, poetry, nature book, song lyrics, etc. And, probably lay off the Pathway workbook if he hates it so much. You could do a different form of grammar/beginner reading techniques w/o the workbook.
Just some ideas. He’s still quite young but I do understand his feelings of wanting to be able to do what he feels his cousin can at a younger age.
Just as a side note: At our church we have several young boys/girls come as visitors and when we are reviewing Biblical stories, writing, drawing, etc., they are the most reluctant to write/draw and are unlearned in the area of the Bible. Some, not all, have very poor penmanship, spelling, etc., and are at least 1-2 years older than my boys (there is one younger than my youngest and is a pretty good speller and has neat handwriting). They all attend ps. Like someone mentioned above, every child has strengths and weaknesses, no matter if they are hs-ed or ps-ed. I would encourage your ds to not compare himself to others and just realize that we are all at different stages of learning. I have a ds that is off the hook in his reading skills while his older brother has a very difficult time reading aloud. This same ds is just now “getting” math while his younger bro. is catching on to double digit addition pretty easily. They are all so different, which is a good thing!
HTH
My husband was PS, and he is very intelligent. He will be the first to tell you that he is a terrible speller!
I also was PS and was considered a good speller. But I think it was due to being able to practice and memorize the spelling words! I went through life thinking I was a great speller, until I realized I am not that wonderful afterall! LOL Well I am better than my dh! 🙂
There you have 2 people who went through yr after yr of “spelling words” and both of us have different strengths and weaknesses.
But I do agree, if your son is wanting to learn it is a wonderful time to learn!! However, 8 is young for him to feel like he has to get all the words right. Peer pressure will either make you or break you I guess! Good thing he is taking it and turning into something positive that is motivating him to learn!
Blessings
Thank you again everyone for the helpful replies. I am constantly doubting myself and this is my third year homeschooling. I don’t know if it will ever change since I’m constantly worried that I’m not a good enough mom too.
Anyway, I think since he really is wanting to do more spelling now, I am going to look into Spelling Wisdom. I would love more feedback on that. I am a bit worried about starting him too soon and had initially planned it for next year.
I am also going to make sure he is doing some more reading aloud to me daily than what he has been doing. I really just want him to learn to love to read like I do. I get more excited about a new book than about anything! I want him to realize how exciting it can be to read a good book. I also hate for my younger two to hear him constantly complaining about reading like it is such a chore. That will get them off on the wrong start I am afraid. They love being read to but so did he.
Anyway, I am very thankful for all the replies.
You might find comfort in this thread. We all doubt our abilities at times. But, God demonstrates His strength through our weaknesses. And, He’s the One to finish the good work that we start. Thankful He does!!!
http://simplycharlottemason.com/scmforum/topic/challenges-or-struggles-with-the-cm-method
Blessings,
Becca<><
Becca, thank you for pointing me to that other thread. It is good to know that others worry about the same things I do. I would really love to hear from CM’ers with much older children to see how they think the CM method has worked out for their children, if they used CM methods all the way through.
I see you wanted some book suggestions for your son. Mine is 10, so I’ll tell you some of his favorites from a couple years ago (and now).
Above all: My Father’s Dragon
Trumpet of the Swan, Mr. Popper’s Penguins, Along Came Galileo, Tornado, Magic Treehouse books, The Year of Miss Agnes, The Children of Noisy Village, Gooney Bird Greene.
Some of those are longer, some shorter, some probably twaddle too, but if the goal is to get them to read and have fun; I think that’s okay sometimes.
My kids love to read books that I’ve read to them already. I think it gives them confidence in their reading. This way, they don’t have to figure it out as they read; they already know the story and like it. Mine usually want to start a book right after I’ve gotten finished with it. They’re sad for it to end, and want to get going again. I think this has helped my non book loving daughter who thinks she can’t understand anything. She’s come a long way.
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