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HS or public school?
- This topic has 9 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 8 years ago by
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My 7th grade son gets his work done fairly quickly. I know others have told me in the past that he should not be done before noon, however, he still is??? He is doing:
Fix It Grammar
Queen LL
Spelling Workout
Pre-Algebra (he has a tutor he meets with 2X a week, he doing GREAT!)
Khan Academy Computer Programming (Just began but is flying though that too)
Typing (2X a week)
He is supposed to be doing writing and/or journaling and he DOES NOT like it to say the least.
This is my child who BEGS me to go to school, any school, public or private! All my instincts are telling me to continue schooling at home, however, I have some friends who are telling me to let him go and experience it so he can see how good he has it at home. He is ADD and CANNOT focus for long periods of time. I’m torn as to what to do. I also have 3 others that I am teaching (11, 10, 8) and they really enjoy being home! My oldest son graduated from the local public school and is now excelling in college. In his opinion, he thinks my son would not make it in public school because of the work load and his attention span.
Yesterday, we took a day trip out of state to an aquarium and he LOVED it!!! We all the very best day together! I have so much twirling around my mind right now and can’t seem to sort it out.
I welcome thoughts, opinions and experiences. BTW, I am doing this all on my own, father left 5 years ago and has not been heard of since.
I would examine your goals for his education. What are you trying to accomplish? What is the end goal for him? What does he want to do (go to college, learn a trade, technical school, etc.)? After you examine those things, you can better decide if your route of home school is best for him. You may discover that your route of home school just needs tweaking (if it’s not working/fitting your goals already).
I’m sure everyone here would say home school him, but we’re all a bit partial 🙂 However, you’re the only one who knows all the pieces of the puzzle–your family culture, your desire for his education, your family’s dynamic, your family’s needs, etc.
Just don’t let outside pressures or comparisons influence you. Have an educational goal; make a plan to reach that goal; be confident in that goal!
First of all, let me encourage you for doing that as a single mom, I really admire that and am sure it’s very tough most of the time. Keep up the good work, sounds like it’s good for your children (the ones that like being at home:)
I don’t think it’s a big deal if he’s done before noon. My son is going into 7th grade and will have a little more on his plate but as of right now he gets done by 11 or 11:30 unless he has a harder math day, then maybe 12.
What are the reasons he has for wanting to do public/private schooling? Is it socialization, or he feels like he’s missing out on something academically? Maybe if you feel in your heart you want him home with you then you could address/try to help those things he feels he’s missing.
I personally think it would be very hard to have one child public schooled with others homeschooled. Their schedules and influences are very different. It wouldn’t be best for my family, and not for my child really either, but it’s your family and your child, and I think you have to do what’s best for all of you, but esp. do what’s best for you as a single mom.
He only wants to go to school because he wants a locker, lunchroom chatter, gym class (he is very athletic), passing notes in class, etc. He is not strong academically and that is my main concern. He already feels like he is dumb. I think he compares himself t his older brother who has a full athletic scholarship and is on the Dean’s list. He wants so very much too follow in his footsteps, however, academically, I am concerned. I say this with love, he is not self disciplined, does not take school seriously. He was in public school until 4th grade and then I pulled him. He was somewhat struggling and I didn’t believe he was getting the individual attention he needed.
The 1st year was beyond hard! We made it through though! It seems the older he gets, the more he resents being HS. He is quite social and wants to be around kids his own age. He is very involved in AAU basketball, which is a travel team. He sees his teammates 3 times a week. He is more than welcome to have friends over, however, my children do not have all the latest electronics and video games so I think he feels like nobody would have fun at our house.
He has a serious chance to make it college on an athletic scholarship, again, however, I can’t see that happening at the rate he is going now. I even allowed my oldest to bring him back to college with him for 2 weeks. My goal was for him to see how disciplined you have to be in college. My oldest suggested this. When he came home all he talked about was how much fun college is….he mentioned how tedious his older brother’s schedule was, but it didn’t seem to effect him in the positive way I was hoping.
Am I worrying too much?
Regarding the sports/physical needs part there are options:
Do you have a homeschool sports team available? I’d check around; you may get some help with other parents helping you out with the driving
Some county public schools or charter allow homeschoolers to participate in their sports (well, you are paying property taxes to fund them, after all), thogh the down side to this option is it might “wet his whistle” so to speak and increase his view hat he’s “missing out” especially if/when the PS kids start talking smack (ha ha, had to use it)
So, I would consider the first option, not my second one, on second thought;)
YMCA’s have sports, as do some churches (Methodists do, anyway)
My friend had her son in YMCA baseball for a few years
I understand how you feel. My oldest is in 7th grade, and she went to public school for her 6th grade year. She did well academically, but I was not pleased with the socialization and the way the girls her age dressed and talked. I will never put my kids in public school again. She misses the social aspect – she was quite the popular one. However, I know what is best for her a d that is being home with her family.
We also don’t have any video games or electronics, and my 11 year old son’s friends all do. When they come to our house, they have a blast! Because we play board games together and play outside most of the day! You would be surprised how many kids parents don’t play board games with them.
First and foremost, you sound like a very hard working mother and teacher for your family and you should be commended. My sister is a single, homeschool mother of 1 and I see her struggles and challenges that I don’t have and I love her all the more for this hard path she is following.
With that said, I wanted to share that my oldest was pulled out of public school mid 8th grade and the 3 other children were all homeschooled before my oldest, Jimmy did well academically in ps but felt really left out at home, like at dinner conversations and field trips, etc., not only that but when I did start homeschooling him, I tried to find 3 older men mentors he could spend his free time with after his work was done, mainly to expend the “boy energy”.
So, a retired neighbor taught him how to weld, a farmer neighbor gave him an early morning job and my dad started a firewood business with him that they still operate. That was 6 yrs. ago. He doesn’t want to attend college, he plans to work at a minimum wage job saving to purchase my parents next door beef farm. He not only owns beef cattle and holds down a full-time job at the hardware store, but these men friends of his are his circle of friends. He goes to lunch with and helps with whatever they ask of him..They are just as much a blessing to them as he is to them!
I mention this little story because maybe a trusted adult male may mentor/hire your son? Just an idea?
PS the early am job, from 7-10am helped to expend energy, so he was much more efficient and attentive to his work.. Blessings for a sound, spiritual decision. Martha
Thank you for all your input! I tell ya….I don’t know what I would do if it wasn’t for all the encouragement on this forum!
Every time I play a tennis match in the head regarding HS or ps, I always seems to come back to the same answer, keep him home! Going to school is not going to change any heart issues we have going on right now, I believe they would worse. The reason I even entertain the thought is because I feel like it will make things around here go smoother, but that is simply not true! It’s time for me to put on my armor and get to fighting, God’s way! This SO HARD doing this alone and having no support!! I get weak and weary and when I do, this whole ps pops into my head.
Another reason is that I want my children to be happy. I have the guilty mom syndrome going on and I try to overcompensate for them not having a father. I feel like it is my job to make sure they are “happy” and not deeply wounded. I know in my head that God is their father and I have to give this all to him, but actually living it out day by day is challenging.
Ok, I’m finished babbling 🙂
I understand that you feel so responsible for their happiness, but you’re not
My husband is mentally ill and as a result of the pain inflicted on the kids and me before he was diagnosed, he lives apart from us; and I should’ve taken the kids and left sooner s he would’ve been helped sooner and my kids spared some of their worst pain and painful memories, but I didn’t and I’ve had to deal with that and watch my kids walk through the pain and anger
I haven’t been able to take their pain, hurt, anxiety, depression, and anger (+anger at G-D) from them, nor would it be a good idea
I have to walk through it in honesty with them, just like G-D does with us and that’s the position you’re in; I have to come alongside them and help them think through their feelings, hold them accountable for their actions, and do what is best
Even, in their immaturity, they don’t think it is because it doesn’t make them “feel happy”, I have to stand strong, and so do you-AND YOU WILL
Yes, I grow weary, too; but I can’t base my decisions on making them happy, because that will lead me in the wrong direction, and them too
Unlike you, my husband is physically available; but like you, my husband is mentally unavailable, so I have to seek out trusted sources to help me sort through issues, so I’m glad you have done the same; it’s a back up system that you need for your mental and spiritual health
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