Free shipping on USA orders over $129!
How do I stop nagging my children to do things?
- This topic has 23 replies, 13 voices, and was last updated 10 years, 5 months ago by
.
- Posts
My ds6 avoids his chores also. And if he is supposed to be working with dd8 to clean up a mess, he often sits back and she does all the work. He’s good at looking busy when in reality he’s doing nothing. So the consequence is more work! Either another job to do or finishing the shared task alone. And when we discuss the situation, we talk not only about diligence but also about truthfulness.
I hope didn’t say it too bluntly…. I have ‘trained’ my kids in many habits I don’t want them to have… sigh
Maybe it is too many cards? I think it would be overwhelming and well, annoying to have to bring you a card every time I did something. Maybe I misunderstood something. Is it possible to maybe combine getting ready and making bed chores on one card, and routine things they do together combined on other cards? Maybe having less cards to deal with would help.
Storing cards out in the open instead of the binder maybe? On a wall where everyone can see and they can help hold each other accountable?
My dc always have to be reminded to do their chores and I even have to check up on my teens sometimes. Ummm….yeah, I forget to do some of mine sometimes, too. Definitely a habit we need to freshen up here.
Suzukimom, what you said was much needed for me, too. Thanks.
Just my family, but we’d have a tough time w/so many cards and having to bring them to mom. I started off w/a list of morning routine things…make bed, brush teeth, eat breakfast, pet duties. If my kids finish all this w/in one hour of waking they get to watch a short tv show while they eat lunch. My son dawdled once and lost the privilege while his sister watched and was on the ball the next day:)
They both know to always rinse their dishes after eating and put them in the dishwasher, and they’re supposed to pick up after themselves…no lists/cards for this. When they get slack I’ll sometime start requiring them to walk the item to it’s proper place ‘their age.’ So if a dish/piece of trash is left out by 10 year old…walk it to dishwasher/trash 10 times. They learn it’s much easier to just do it once:)
I take care of laundry, they just have to put away. For weekly chores, it’s simpler for me to schedule it one time weekly than break it up all week. Saturdays are usually quiet around here, so everybody has chore assignments. One kid vaccums and dusts upstairs, one downstairs. They each have certain bathrooms to clean, one empties small trash cans. I do wood floors. It only takes about an hour and house is good enough for another week.
We’re not perfect with it, but things generally stay pretty clean. And keeping chores to a short morning list and once on the weekend helps keep my nagging to a minimum:) Hope you find a system that works soon! Blessings, Gina
“I hope didn’t say it too bluntly…. I have ‘trained’ my kids in many habits I don’t want them to have… sigh’
Oh no, no — please don’t misunderstand me! I love that you said it! Yes, it hurts to to hear it, but only because it’s true and I don’t want to acknowledge that. But honestly, it’s a good kick in the pants for me. Bllunt is good sometimes.
It’s kind of like when my dh points out (the obvious) that a certain room or area is really a mess. It really hurts to hear him say that, but only because I’d like to think that he doesn’t notice. lol Our home is reasonably neat and tidy much of the time, but there are certain hot spots that flare up — some with regularity like that beautiful flat counter area that looks so lovely when it’s clear, but once one thing gets piled there it’s just a magnet for EVERYTHING in record time; other areas are ongoing like the pile in the corner of my bedroom of I-should-do-something-with-that-but-I’m-not-sure-what-so-I’ll-stick-it-here items. I just would love to believe that no one else notices these parts of my home, and when someone comments on it, then my illusion comes crashing down. lol
Hmm…maybe I should stop lamenting and go clear that counter, eh? Time to model some good habits! 😉
Well, thanks to you all, I spend all morning revamping my system. I implemented many suggestion offered her. So thank you and I hope it works..lol
I would love to hear some specifics about what changes you made, if you’re willing to share and have a few minutes.
I listed all the chores on one piece of paper and laminated it. It is hanging on the fridge and the children can use a dry erase marker to mark off chores.
We have very little media time. So I decided that a movie would hopefully be a motivator (though I find very little motivates them in the long run). But there are conditions in order to get the movie.
* Chores must be completed by 6:30pm
* Chores must be marked off AND completed
* Chores must be inspected by Mom
* If all 3 condition are not met, no movie
And if one child completes all these and other children don’t, only one watches a movie.
There are consequences as well. If they don’t make the bed, they will have to make it the number of times in correlation to their age.
We only used this the second half of the day and my children finished their chores 45 mins before bed time. This is very rare. So I am excited to see what a full day looks like.
- The topic ‘How do I stop nagging my children to do things?’ is closed to new replies.