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Homeschooling through Mom’s Older Years
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Thanks, Cindy! An a-ha moment occurred when I read your response! I think one of our root problems lies in the area of working on our husband/wife relationship. There is no conflict in our marriage, so I guess I overlooked this area. But recently we had to relocate because of his job situation and 3 weeks after we closed on the new house, the new company that hired him announced that they were shutting down the plant. So immediately he began looking for another job and praise the Lord, He provided…it just happens to be an hour away and be very demanding (he’s gone about 14 hours a day and works many weekends as well). So even in the small amount of time we have together, we’re so exhausted that we’ve let our relationship take a back seat to daily survival.
I’ve prayed, and I’m trusting that God will show us creative ways to get around the reality of this season of our lives.
Thanks again for taking the time to mentor!!
MJ
By the way, does 39 count as ‘older mom’, ‘older mom in training’, or ‘older mom in training level 2’—ha ha
“And my house is slowly beginning to resemble a thrift store. LOL And all I really WANT to do some days is take a nap. LOL”
As an a) HS DAD and b) over 50 parent, with c) two kids under 11, I can relate… all except for the ‘change,’ of course. (and no, I am not talking about Barack! – LOL)
I take a ‘siesta’ every afternoon, after teaching and making lunch. It’s just ‘part’ of my HS day. I’m sorry, but we Americans are out of touch with the European/agrarian reality of how man/woman operate. Naps are GOOD! My youngest is now a very mature 8, so I can, knowing that FINALLY they will watch the ‘educational video’ I assign them, or do their ‘math homework’ or ‘silent read’. Deo Gratias.
I also work most afternoons/early evenings at my ‘secular’ job, and teach in the AM’s. My wife (the breadwinner of the family) and I have determined that dust and clutter are merely facts of life (Entropy happens), and we will clean, after we each get a couple days of 8 hours of sleep in a row…. now, when will THAT be? Summer vacation, (She is a PS Teacher) and Spring Break….
What else besides naps? Nutrition is a BIG plus in this regard, as is exercise. I was going to the Chiro every two weeks, until I really started to ‘exercise’ (I bought out all those VHS tapes I had when we first got married) and, what do you know? I didn’t need ‘adjusting’ as often… (at a $50 co-pay this year, yikes this was getting ridiculous last fall!) which, if I can just stick to it, is a very good thing! ($$) It also was a motivation for my kids to exercise outside when I say, “Go do recess!” IF Daddy does it, it must be good for me….
Also, I do Shaklee, and swear by it. These two things have helped my wife and I (she just went through ‘it’ a few years ago) cope with the treasures in clay jars that will one day be Adults that God has lent us for a while. Better to fit them for an eternity of grace, and be tired for a while on Earth, than give up, and ‘take it easy.’ Right, ladies? Right. Besides, after a nap, I can do ANYTHING. LOL
Wow! It’s not often we get to hear from a hs dad!! I appreciate the balance this could bring to our ‘discussions’. I love the idea of incorporating siesta as a subject. I agree that Americans are out of touch on this….and many things for that matter. Anyway, thanks for sharing and I’m curious to know what Shaklee is…
mj
I just noticed something this morning that I wanted to encourage ya’ll with. I have sick children this weekend – bummer for them – and it’s my 50th birthday (this is NOT a call for Happy Birthdays!). What occurred to me is that I was doing this same thing 21 years ago when little ones got sick. I could have thought, “Oh, man, I’ve been doing this for 21 years!” But what really came to mind was what a privilege it is to still have little ones that need care. Children are such a blessing!
Praying that you will not weary in well-doing,
Cindy
I’m home sick with the kids today. But this topic has been on my mind lately. I have 3 olders (13, 11, 11) that I have always schooled together. Then I have a busy 5 yr old. We’ve always schooled CM style.
When the olders were little, I was so focused on disciplining, teaching, (before internet) and busy. That was my world. Now, my world is middle school/jr. high stuff and subject and I’m so busy with the olders still and keeping house, that to think of going through the process of teaching another one to read really feels tedious. I feel so bad for my 5 yr old because I’m so much more busy than I was when my olders were that age.
I know the problem is my own heart. And I’m praying that the Lord will change my heart and restore to me the joy of my salvation and of homeschooling again. I would NEVER not homeschool unless the Lord told us to. But recently I felt really burned out. I didn’t want to read another history book, or read aloud another book, or work with the 5 yr old or do anything homeschool related. We did take a spring break which helped. We’re also planning on going to our state homeschool convention which I’m sure will help alot too. Fellowship with other homeschool moms has helped me tremendously to keep going and remember why I’m doing it.
But it seems like each year around this time I just want to declare summer break and give my house the undivided attention that it needs, cook more complicated meals (than 15 minutes and maybe 5 ingredients) and just feel like there’s more order to our life. But I see that the kids, when not schooling, go nuts with the free time. They beg for videos or computer time from morning to night. This summer we will have some things (like Typing, Latin, Bible study) that I will have them work on without me even through the summer. But I am going to take a month to really declutter and get things ready for the next school year. I also need a few weeks to plot out our homeschooling for the following year. (We always start in August since it’s too hot in the summer to do much).
But I’ve noticed that each year that burned out feeling in March/April gets stronger and stronger. Why is that? Of course I persevere, and it helps having the Biblical conviction behind why we homeschool, but I want it to be a joy again.
What do you do to keep it joyful for you?
Blessings,
Betty
I will often rest in the fact that God chose the birth order of my children. He not only knits them together, he knits our family together. I trust him to place my children in the order that will meet their needs.
I’m not sure what it is for you, but a similar emotion comes on me that I have to call discontent. It starts out as a small niggling feeling and grows if I do not immediately get on my knees and confess and seek God’s strength. God says to take every thought captive and make it obedient to the Lord. Elisabeth Elliott said to ‘just do the next thing.’ God also says to do everything as unto the Lord. He also promises to give his beloved rest. So, in that mix alone (and I’m sure you can come up with many more), there can be much to help us moms as we persevere.
From where I am, I know that someday (sooner than I expect) I will miss this. I also know that I am older and must be even more diligent to protect my own health and nurture my marriage. I also have to tend to the hormonal issues. 😐
Blessings,
Cindy
Wow! This is exactly what I needed today. I’ll be 41 this year, I have an almost 4 yo (next month), a 6 yo, a 12 1/2 yo, and a 17 yo. A few months ago I was so excited about having a second chance to do things a little better with the littles, but now I’m just irritable all the time. I used to be irritable 3 or 4 days a month but now I only have 3 or 4 good days a month, excessive noise just seems to drive me up a wall. Could this be the beginning of menopause? My mom went through it around 45.
“18 Kids & Counting” has been a real encouragement to me. Michelle has such a sweet spirit, I think if she can do this with 18 surely I can with 4. I know that God is good, I just wish that I could be (LOL).
Joy!
Dawn
Amen!! I too have had hormonal issues and with the recent diagnosis of celiac, I’m really up and down physically. I’m still in the process of figuring my body out and discerning what I need.
I didn’t recognize my feelings as discontent. That is very helpful.
I think too, that somewhere along the past few months, I have added to myself lots of unrealistic expectations and pressure. I have been a very hands on mom with our homeschooling in a CM style, but I’m seeing the Lord is using this time to start me thinking how to make my kids more independent learners. I’ve made our school revolve around and depend on me (with all the read alouds which I do want to continue), and I need to start releasing some of that and letting my children own more of their learning. It has never occurred to me to school in a different way (while still being CM). Why am I freaking out that I’m not doing more with my 5 yr old when she’s not ready for more at least in regards to her maturity? Why can’t my children read a Mike Venezia book about Van Gogh and look at the approved pictures instead of NOT doing any art appreciation? Why can’t I assign my children to make one entry a week in their nature journal instead of depending on an outing in order to accomplish nature study? I think it’s time to change things around to allow me more time with my little one and more time to take care of myself without holding my olders up in their learning.
Somewhere along the way, (I’m praying for the Lord to show me just where I stepped off the path and slipped off His yoke for me), I didn’t take some thoughts captive and was cowering under the weight of all this pressure. It sucked the joy from me and our homeschooling.
Now, my husband and I and little one are dealing with a stomach virus. The house is a mess while I’ve been in bed, but the Lord is good. This is where He wants me and what He’s given me for today. I want to receive it with a grateful heart and receive with it His grace to get me through.
Blessings,
Betty
Discontentment must be the word for the month! I don’t have ‘littles’ in the home (well we have a little calf and a big puppy who I say is my baby), but the Lord has been revealing to me that my heart isn’t content. Not materialistically speaking, but progress in the homeschool/relationships area. Can anyone speak to the difference between ‘holy discontent’ and plain old human flesh discontent? And how to handle each one in a way Christ would have us to?
Wow, that’s a good thing to think about MJ. I’ll be anxious to hear from others. Off the top (and I’ve not looked up any scriptures yet), I’d have to say that godly discontent might be more like ‘conviction.’ What do you think? Then we know we have to change something because we have found that we’ve been disobedient to God’s word.
Fleshly discontent has a different flavor, don’t you think? I think of Psalm 16:6 The lines have fallen unto me in pleasant places; yea, I have a goodly heritage. What are those circumstances that are not a result of disobedience, but are just plain hard? What are those circumstances that are a result of sin (mine or someone else’s) – He chastens those he loves?
You know me, I can go on and on, but I shouldn’t. I’ll read what others have to say.
Blessings,
Cindy
“…..for I have learned how to be content (satisfied to the point where I am not disturbed or disquited) in whatever state I am….”
~ Phillipians 4:11 amplified
I can relate to the feeling of discontent. I’ve often asked the Lord, “Why have I not learned how to be content”?
I’m reminded of 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
“Be joyful always, pray continually and give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus”.
Gods Word seems to be asking the following questions….
“Am I being joyful always, praying continually and giving thanks in all circumstances”? If not, then maybe this is why I’ve been discontent? Something to think about.
Blessings,
Heather
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