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High schoolers, routines, and bed times
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Hey everybody! I’ve been thinking a lot recently about high schoolers and routines and bed times. I just wanted to toss this question out there to see what you all have to say on this topic. Do you have a routine for your teen at night? Do you have them go to bed at a certain time? Do they have to wake up in the morning at a certain time?
We tell our boys that they have to be in bed by 9:00, but lights don’t have to be out until 10:00. That gives them time to read and wind down and chat with each other. They seem to like this reflective, quiet time and because they share a room, it builds their relationship. They have to get up at 7:00 on week days or we can’t get chores and school done due to other obligations.
In early high school we had a similar time 10 pm lights out. However as they got older and into 10th and 11th we allowed them to choose – the girls are like me, nightowls, and not morning people – however our rule was if we could not get up at 7am and be alert for school then we had to go to bed earlier. The girls are usually in bed by 11pm now and on Fridays and Saturdays a little later and that is their choice – but the rule still stands. Now they often get up at 6:30 and get ready for their day during the week – they sleep in a little on Saturday on occasions but with a new puppy they are responsible for the early morning outing to the garden and getting him breakfast etc. It works out. I tried to give them more responsibility as they got older – and did not dictate a bedtime, or lights out time – and they knew as long as they could do their work properly and get up early I was ok with it if they burned the midnight oil talking or reading on occasion. Linda
My kids aren’t there yet… but as a teen I had a “bedtime” of 10:00…. although my mom wasn’t super strict about it as I generally went to bed with no prompting or anything…. so if there was something special it generally wasn’t a problem. (I never stayed out late except if I was visiting my sister or something) I would generally read in bed for a while….
but that said, I was an extremely “easy” teenager (at least I think so…)
Linda,
That’s what I have been trying to balance out: when to give a little more freedom in this area or if a routine should be in a place. It sounds like you have a really good approach in that you start off initially with the routine but then as as they get to the older end of the high school years, you offer freedom with the rule that they have to be up and ready for school by 7am. Like JenKeithley, we really need to be up and going by 7am in order to get everything accomplished during the day throughout the week – Between my husband’s work schedule, outside activites like karate, youth group, etc. we just need to be going early to get chores, school and such done.
I think that it would be good to start out with developing an established routine first (she’s just now going into 9th grade) and then maybe after awhile offer up the freedom part of her choosing but knowing she still has to get up and be ready to go by 7am. My thinking was doing something similar to what JenKeithley says they do. Since we have an hour of personal reading time each day, I think it would be good to start by having her hour of reading time be from 9-10pm and then lights out at 10pm. Then after establishing that routine for awhile, maybe offer her the option of lights out when she chooses as long as she is up and ready to go by 7am. And it couldn’t be an – I have to come and wake you up 3 or 4 times before you get up and then you get up grumpy – kind of thing. 🙂 Can anyone relate??? 🙂
There seems to be a common thread of a bedtime of 10:00 pm in everyone’s responses. 🙂
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