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Help! Need to Reinstate Quiet Time!
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Okay, I am the world’s worst mom. I haven’t been requiring a quiet time in the afternoon of my 2 oldest boys for a long time. They are almost 4 and 6. I would say 3-1/4 years was about the age for both of them when they were just allowed to “stay up” after lunch. The reason for this is that they would fight me TOOTH AND NAIL if I tried to make them have a quiet time. I remember a year-long battle with my oldest before I finally gave up. My 2nd child, it was several months. I just don’t have the energy for this kind of fight in the afternoon. I would literally have to battle with them for 1+ hours. That being said, I really think they need the rest. It breaks my heart when I look at their tired eyes in the late afternoon or early evening. I just know that their learning must not be at its optimum level when they aren’t getting adequate rest. But… how do I do this?! How do I help them develop the habit of laying down after lunch? They share a room so should I have them both rest in there, or should I put one in there and one on the couch? How long should I expect them each to rest for? How do I enforce it? Also, how do I handle the evenings when they won’t go to bed bc they took a nap?! My middle child will be up late, in and out of his room several times, if he takes an afternoon nap. The oldest hasn’t napped in years, but would probably be the same :). The odd thing is that they are up so early in the morning! I feel like they won’t listen to me bc I’m the mom, and that if they went to school they would not fight the teacher if she said it was time to lay down :(. This has been such a challenge for me. I just really wish I had the energy to deal with it.
My daughter hasn’t napped since she was two. My son naps whenever his body needs it & I do not have to tell him anything as his body just shuts down wherever he happens to be.
However, if they are grumpy, tired, or just not up to par and all other needs have been met, then I do a quiet time. i do not care what they do for 1.5-2 hours, but they must stay on their beds and they can not jump and I must not hear them.
My daughter writes or draws or reads while my son plays with his action figures. they usually do not nap, but the down time helps charge the battery. I do not do this everyday, but when any of us needs it.
HTH
I wish I had an answer for you, but I too would love to have some advice on this. You are not the world’s worst mom!!
I agree with cdm2kk, but I usually only require an hour for my 4 and 6 yo. But if they’re whiney and not cooperative, they get time added to their rest time.
If it is mostly just an issue of more rest. Could you start putting them to bed earlier as an alternative to a nap? You could do this gradually, a bit at a time, so that it didn’t feel like much of a difference to their bodies all at once. If they are tired in the afternoons (tired eyes) but then wouldn’t sleep at bedtime if they had naps, then it seems to me that an earlier bedtime would be a logical solution.
Do you think that would work for you?
Blessings!
Miranda
I am diligent about quiet time! We need it, for sure. After we clean up lunch, we gather some books to read – ds3 & ds6 each choose a picture book while dd8 gets our literature read-aloud. I nurse baby while reading the picture books; she’s asleep by the end. Ds3 has usually fallen asleep before we have finished a chapter of our lit book. Then dd8 goes to her room to read & ds6 looks at more picture books in the living room or my room (if I want to close my eyes and rest!). The length of our quiet time varies, but I try to not let the 3yo sleep much past an hour or he won’t go to sleep at night. We used to have this reading routine before bed at night, but the children never listened as well as they do mid-day. I don’t exactly have advice; that’s just how we do it. It has been part of our learning & atmosphere for so long that the children don’t balk or question it. I tell them that their bodies need rest just like they need food, water, etc.
Thanks! Going to try that tomorrow, bethanna!
I can’t really put them to bed earlier, as they already go to bed early. They sleep about 730-6. All of these replies made me feel better and were very helpful. Thanks again!!
We do daily quiet time with all 8 children. In bed for most of them, they can read, look at books, or listen to the audio book I turn on in the hall between bedrooms. When we started years ago we started small, 15 minutes in bed. Then we worked up as it became habit. Now we do 1 1/2 hours every day. It is essential in our large family that everyone gets this quiet part of the day because there really isn’t quiet any other time and it is hard to find a spot alone the rest of the day. I have tons more comments on it but the baby just woke up. Let me know if you have specific questions!
Tristan, I need to hear your tons more comments!
I have 5 kids and agree completely that we all need that quiet down time. I’m struggling with how to implement it with my non-nappers who are also non-readers. My oldest 2 can easily read for 1 1/2 hours, but my 5 year old balks at having to be quiet or alone for that long. I’m trying to find the right combination of drawing, picture books, audio books, legos etc. I’d love any and all tips!I also have about an hour and a half to two hours quiet. I am hearing where my problem maybe that I let them pick things to do instead of just books. My youngest two are the worst after a summer off enjoying the days they are not taking to quiet time again. More training!
On the ‘pro-quiet time’ side…
This is a really valuable habit to instill, not just for the kids’ rest (and eventually for individual reading) but also for Mom. It is important for you to set aside that time to rejuvenate, plan, communicate, pray – whatever! It can literally change the course of your day.
We have 5 kids and we ‘do’ quiet time from 2-3pm. I put each child in a different room to keep talking and playing to a minimum. My youngest (5yo) no longer naps, but he must play quietly or ‘read’ his books, or draw pictures. For all of us, it is a reading time and a time to collect our thoughts.
As far as cooperation goes, the rule around here is that they must stay in their quiet time place and read or play quietly. There is no leaving the room (outside of an emergency or something!) and no arguing with Mom about it.
If they are really fighting you on this, I would highly recommend that you start with reading “Laying Down the Rails” and instilling the habit of Obedience first. That will make a bigger overall impact on your home and your children’s character growth than naps ever could!
And, no, you are NOT the worst mom ever!! The worst moms don’t ask for advice – they don’t care one way or another! You care about your children and their well being, so give yourself the grace you would extend to a good friend ;0).
I created bins that we rotate weekly. Our dc (5 & 7) have 20 mins with books and then they have 40 mins with the bin full of quiet toys. There is 1 bin for each of them. They can choose to sit in the living room or their bedroom. We started our quite time a little over a year ago and we started with 15 mins. It took us a long time to get to an hour.
My 7 year old refuses to nap BUT she will gladly read!! So I make her be quiet and still for abot 20 minutes and she can have soft music playing. After that, she is allowed to read or play quietly.
My 3 year old LOOOVES her naps and will easily sleep 3 1/2 hours still!! I’m enjoying it! And she still goes to sleep easily at night! Not sure how long this will last, so I’m loving it while she’s doing this!!!
I do have to separate my two or they would chat and keep each other nap.
I usually nap, too, each day. Generally 15 minutes but today it was a entire hour!! SHOCKING!! And much needed!!
His,
Shari
I have 5 kids and agree completely that we all need that quiet down time. I’m struggling with how to implement it with my non-nappers who are also non-readers. My oldest 2 can easily read for 1 1/2 hours, but my 5 year old balks at having to be quiet or alone for that long. I’m trying to find the right combination of drawing, picture books, audio books, legos etc. I’d love any and all tips!
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