Help! Behavior issue

My suggestion is to treat it like any other obedience issue. Tell her that she must be quiet and not disturb everyone b/c it is rude. If she disobeys, then treat it the same as you would any other issue of disobedience. If you think she hasn’t had enough sleep, put her back to bed until she either sleeps more or is ready to get up cheerfully. You have to be the one in charge

One of the most helpful books that I’ve read is Raising Godly Tomatoes, which has been mentioned on this board numerous times. You can read it online or buy the book. It is full of very helpful and practical advice.

My 2.5 year old one dd is our weak-willed one (I don’t like using strong willed as strong has positive connotations.) During the early part of my current pregnancy in the spring, I had a teen staying to help care for my kids b/c I was so sick. While this was very helpful and necessary in many ways, it meant I spent less time training the 2 year old than I would have normally. This no doubt led to her becoming more weak-willed. In the past 3 weeks or so, I’ve been very vigilant and consistent with her, keeping her with me at almost all times so that I can quickly correct any wrong behavior. This has been KEY to a total turn-around in this child. She now obeys quickly regardless of the request – to sit still in my lap in church, to bring something to me, to change from being grumpy to happy – whatever. This 3 weeks of consistency has changed her into a much happier child and our house to a much happier house.

Here’s an example from this week…

I’ve just this week taken her thumb away (putting bitter cream on it) and the first night, she began to cry LOUDLY. I told her to quiet down and that I understood this is hard, but she must not disturb the whole house. She quickly lowered her volume to a soft sob until she fell asleep. This is mainly b/c she now has been trained to obey no matter the request and if she doesn’t, then we deal with the disobedience for what it is. She also had a tendency toward general grumpiness and I’ve made a point of telling her to change her face to a happy one, if she doesn’t, then we treat it as a disobedience. 98% of the time she will smile (sometimes fake), but it quickly becomes real as little ones are not very adept at faking on the outside what they don’t generally feel on the inside.

I hope this is helpful in some way. Training kids is very hard work!

Blessings,

Christie

Rebekah,

I really dislike being startled awake in any manner (even by an alarm) and I’m not a morning person, so I understand feeling angry at that. (My 5 yo had the habit of getting up every hour if he knew something fun was happening the next morning. This only stopped when we quit telling him about things before their assigned day and when we cancelled a rafting trip b/c we were so tired from being awakened all night to see if it was time to go.)

Here’s another idea that works great in my house – alarm clocks for the kids. My kids are all more morning people than I am, but I don’t want them up and about long before me. I get up at 7:30 AM and my 8 yo is allowed up whenever and she’s usually up at 6 or 6:30 AM and has her quiet time and starts her schoolwork. My 5 yo and 2 yo both have alarm clocks set for 7:30 AM, they are not allowed to get up (except for the bathroom) before then. They can sit in their beds and quietly look at books or work a puzzle, but they can’t get up until I’m up. I have clocks w/ cd players so I can put on nice music for them to wake up to. 7:30 is magic hour at my house – we get up, dressed, do our morning chores and head down to have breakfast.

I am glad that you were encouraged. After I posted, I thought maybe I sounded harsh which wasn’t my intent. Reading that book a month ago was what reminded me and encouraged me to jump back on the wagon and IT REALLY WORKED! Not a big surprise, but encouraging none-the-less.

Grace and peace,

Christie

All of my biological sons woke up crying in the morning and crying after nap.  They woke up, they cried.  It usually took 5 to 20 minutes of cuddling to get them to calm down and be happy.  Some time around 3 or 3 1/2 they started to wake up happy.  My youngest (just turned 3) is waking up crying about 50% of the time now.

I don’t think it was a behavior issue as all 3 of them were like this from birth.  After cuddles they were good to go.  For what it’s worth….