Habits – Individual and Family?

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  • Twinsmomxtwo

    Our family is returning to SCM after 4 years with a popular classical curriculum with community.  My kids REALLY need some habit training to undo some of the negative influences and habits they picked up.  I will be focusing on the Big Three Foundational habits of obedience, attention, and truthfulness with everyone as a group.

    But each of my kids could use some personal habit training to help in areas where they struggle individually such as cleanliness, manners, neatness, etc.

    Could I do both habit as a group and personal habit with each individual child as part of their individual studies?

    Karen Smith

    That depends on how old your children are, how many children you have, and how much bandwidth you have to oversee the establishing of more than one habit at a time.

    If your children are pre-teens/teens, then it is possible to have them work on personal habits at the same time you are working on a habit as a family. Pre-teens/teens are capable of taking ownership of establishing a new habit with regular checks by mom and/or dad. If your children are younger, then it will be more difficult for you. Young children need someone else to “drive” the work to establish a new habit. That means that you will need to be actively involved in making sure the habit is being worked on.

    Alternatively, you could work on one of the big three for 6-8 weeks, then choose one of the “personal” ones to work on for the whole family. After the personal habit is going well, choose the next one of the big three to work on, alternating between family ones and the personal ones. Sometimes the habit being worked on is more of a challenge for one child, but not so much for another child. That’s okay because we all need to work on good habits and learning to support each other in that habit training is a good thing.

    Keep in mind that forming good habits is a life-long endeavor. Even adults need to change bad habits to good ones, or establish new habits in their lives. We are more successful with forming new habits if we concentrate on one or two at a time, instead of trying to tackle them all at once.


    Thank your the reply.

    I have 4 children ages 15 and 13.

    I didn’t really think about having to keep up with all of their personal habit training in addition to the one they’ll work on as a group.  🤔  I like your idea of alternating between the the foundational big three and a personal one that someone needs to work on but do it with everyone. I’m sure they can all use some level of review of some habits.

    Thanks again 😊

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