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Feeling like I might not be cut out for this
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This is my first year homeschooling but up until this point it has been pretty much just one child to hs. This is my first year using CM methods and though I really like it, I am still feeling overwhelmed. My middle ds just turned 5 on Monday. He really doesn’t like listening in too much on our reading. He just gets bits and pieces but is too active to just sit. I know that is normal though. However, my 18 mo. dd is also very active and also disruptive. It’s really hard to stay focused AND I feel like I’m not giving her enough attention. Not only that but my oldes ds whines and complains daily because he hates math. I am using CLE this year and have just begun circling only a portion of the problems for him to do. That seems to help. The thing is I started him back on 2nd grade level so I’m sure he’s really going to complain when it gets harder for him on 3rd grade level. Also, I haven’t been making him do written narrations because he hates writing so much. I’m also really worried about his spelling. He was writing in his nature notebook today and wrote the word cut like “kut”. He really needs help in this area but I don’t know what to do. We aren’t using a formal spelling program this year but because it is required here I’m a bit worried in that regard too.
Here’s another thing, my just 5 year old recognizes all his letters and sounds but can’t grasp putting them together. I know he’s still very young so I’m trying not to stress about that. However, what I am worried about is that no matter what I do he can’t understand how to hold his pencil properly and can’t even draw a line. He has always hated coloring even. Is there anything I can do to help him?
Basically, I know this is a lot of rambling but I am so worn out by lunch time with my little one needing attention and trying to have school time with my others that I just want to cry. And even at that, I still don’t feel like we are doing near all we should but I don’t want to do any more after lunch!
Thanks for listening. I really needed to vent.
Momof3–I can’t address the other issues, because it is our first year “really” homeschooling, but I did want to offer a bit of encouragement on your five-year-old. My five-year-old also can’t hold a pencil properly. He used to hate coloring. He can draw lines and circles, but that is recent. He has multiple sensory processing disorders with severe fine motor skill delay.
I would seriously look into sensory issues with your son. Putting a name to my son’s issues helped me so much. Once you start looking at fine motor skill charts and games, there is SO much help and information out there to get them to where they need to be! One thing we are doing is using beeswax block crayons with my DS. They are much easier to manipulate, and for multiple reasons are excellent for developing fine motor skills (different angles, solid grasp, etc.)
Before that, just to get him to where he enjoyed art, we used markers. They were unbreakable and produced a line more easily than pencils (my son has weak hand muscles.)
You could also look into actual OT. I’m sure your insurance would cover it under fine motor delays. HTH!
Oh…and it is NOTHING you’re doing wrong…at ALL!! Some kids just have a harder time making the hand/brain connection, and need a little extra coaching. It requires a whole different approach and way of thinking, but it can be done!
Does you 18 month old take a nap in the afternoon still? If so, you may want to consider doing all or part of your ‘school time’ with your older ones while the little one naps. This would also give you more time in the morning to do more things that you could include your toddler in (rather than feeling bad for always pushing him away while you’re trying to do school). I have a very busy 2 year old so I understand! I never thought I’d like doing school in the afternoon, but it has kept me from going insane at times.
Jen
Thank you for the replies. I noticed I made a mistake in my post. I meant to say this is my 3rd year hs’ing but my first using CM methods.
I had actually not thought of him having sensory issues. I will look into that. I hate to see him frustrated already.
Yes, my dd does take a nap and I had thought of having our school time then. That is usually when I do chores and get dinner ready so I’ll have to figure all that out. It may work better that way.
Thanks for the suggestions.
I could have almost written your post, except this is my fourth year and I have a 9 year old dd in 4th. I adopted a baby last winter who is now 20 months. Trying to do school with her with us in the am is just like you described. Last year she was taking 2 naps, but now is down to just 1 in the afternoon. Plus, my dd9 is also doing CLE math and truly also hates math (although she can do it, just loathes it). If they really hate it, I think it is a good idea to consider whether it is the right curriculum; for my dd, I think it is just too independent (she is a sociable sue type of learner that needs interaction). I chose it for the review and drill, but I do the same as you and end up crossing out some of the problems because there tends to be too much in my opion. I think I”m about to switch her back to BJU or something else (we did BJU before, but it is somewhat teacher intensive).
I second the thought of trying to move school to nap time. We do some then, but I’m about to move most of it to then (which would be after lunch, which I really don’t like the idea of, but it isn’t working now).
I am trying to put together a bunch of sets of toys and things for my toddler to “do” while I’m doing school with dd9. My older does need 1:1 time too, so I can’t really just give her everything to do independently. I wish I had more ideas to offer you, but I just want to say I can relate, and to hang in there! It does help me if I can be organized for what we need to do each day, start around the same time, and have some personal prayer & bible time in the am before we start. All that is easier said than done sometimes!
Relax and take a deep breath. How long have you been at this? I think you are adding more stress to your day than is necessary. Are you adding your five year old into the school day already? What does your state require?
Personally I’d give you and your 5 year old a break for a few weeks while getting your older son into a good routine. If he was in PS until now he’ll need a good period of adjestment. many people recommend deschooling a month for every year in ps. How old is he? 8? 3rd grade? So school shouldn’t last more than 2-3 hours maximum for him once you get up and rolling. I’d start with the basics: Math, Reading, Writing, and Bible. Don’t worry about written narration for this term at least. Can he narrate well orally? If not, give him a full year to really learn to narrate well before moving to written. Occassionally you coul ask him to write a sentence under a picture and work on any words he mispells, but don’t panic about it. Some are natural spellers, some are not. Just take it as it comes and relax. Don’t sweat going back a grade in math either — for my ds’s first homeschool year we had to go back to 3rd though he was in fifth. We are still just finishing Gamma though he’s now in 6th. Math doesn’t have to be his favourite subject, but if you can find a way of showing him how it’s important to everyday life and how gumbling only makes everybody miserable, where just getting it done and out of the way allows the rest of the day to be enjoyed more fully. Look for math games and other ways to make math more fun and more meaningful. Don’t feel bad if you do not get every subject in this year. Nature Study is enough for science at the elementary stage. Reading living books is enough for history this year. You do not have to do every subject every day or even every term. You can choose to do History one term, science the next and an art/poetry/music appreciation study the third term. Weave geography in naturally by identifying places you read about
Jen’s suggestion to do school work while your 18mo is napping is a very good one. Give your 5 year old playdoh to use during times when you are reading (older ds can use it too if he wants to unless it’s too much of a distraction). It’s great for fine motor skills. Don’t stress yourself out by asking your 5 yr old to narrate. There will be times he may contribute to the conversation, but don’t require it. I wouldn’t sweat it too much if he choose not to listen in on many of your older son’s readings as long as he learns to be quite and not interrupt. To start with, I’d choose 4 areas you really want to work with your 5 yo, but aim to cover only 3 a day. Recognize that in the beginning you might need to look for alternatives to pencil & paper — have him draw letters in pudding on a plate or flour on a cookie sheet with his finger. Use a whiteboard & marker or chalk on a chalk board or driveway. Use a wet paint brush on dark coloured fence or a flashlight on a wall in a dark room. These can all help teach the motions required to form letters while strenthening muscles. Give him a pair of safety siccors and strips of scrap paper to cut into a bowl, or a one-hole punch. Give him clothes pegs to clip on or take off a hanger with his thumb and index finger (pinching with the tips, not the knuckle). A pair of tongs with the spring can off good tension, too. My ds’s occupational therapist had him pick up pastic toy worms and bugs with a pair to “feed” to a bird puppet.
By figuring out what the minimum is that we can feel satisfied with covering in a day and accomplishing that, we can be content. If we get a chance to throw in an extra lesson here or there, great. But if we plan a huge list of twelve subjects to cover and only get to six or seven we feel pretty rotten. Decide what is necessary and what can wait a term, a year or even until jr. high.
lisacm, I’m sorry you are in the same boat but glad to know I’m not alone :). I used Math Mammoth last year and he hated that too. I like CLE better so I think I’m just going to stick with it and continue picking and choosing what he does. Hopefully his attitude will improve. I hate the thought of doing school after lunch too but probably will give it a try.
4myboys, actually your post was very helpful and I appreciate all the advice for my 5 year old. I will definitely give those ideas a try. I admit I find it hard when family members ask what he is doing and then tell me what their 5 year old is doing if you know what I mean.
Here is what I’ve been doing so far though not always in the same order. Bible and/or character stories are done at bedtime.
Literature- Little House in the Big Woods
History- Beautiful Feet, right now reading Leif the Lucky
Science- Outdoor Secrets and lots of miscellaneous stuff depending on interest
Copywork- Proverbs to Cursive (from SCM I think it’s what it’s called)
Aesops Fables for narration though we aren’t really enjoying that
Poetry- We have just been working on memorizing All Things Bright and Beautiful
Music- my son is learning violin but not my 5 year old yet
Math- CLE
We haven’t added artist study or composer study yet. We do Mark Kistler’s online drawing and both kids love that.
So I really don’t have much written stuff to show if I ever need to. That is what worries me a bit. We are beginning notebooking with our history though.
What do you think. I’m feeling pretty overwhelmed by how much of my time is involved. I don’t mind but feel neglectful of my littler ones.
Oh, and I also do reading with my two littler ones during school too.
Thanks again!
Oh, and another thing on your five-year-old. When I was trying to teach my son to draw straight lines (see, most people don’t get this!! :)), I found these worksheets extremely helpful.
http://www.kidzone.ws/prek_wrksht/dynamic.htm
I hope that comes up right. It only has four lines per page, with the animal on the left and its home on the right. I would guide DS’s hand, while saying, “Let’s help the bird find its tree!”
It really worked. Hope it maybe helps you too.
FWIW, my DS5 does not hold a pencil correctly either. In fact, generally speaking, boys are later to learn handwriting skills than girls, so I wouldn’t worry too much about that. We are using Handwriting Without Tears, and DS LOVES it! We have used nearly all of the preliminary manipulatives. Yes, it is expensive, but it has been such fun for us, and I am seeing great results in my son. We have started the wet-dry-write chalkboard, and he is making beautiful letters. Two months ago he would have gotten frustrated trying to write. Now he is motivated to make numbers when doing math.
For scheduling, I am trying to figure out our routine as well. I have a 2 y/o who takes a long nap starting around 2:00. I would like to get more done in the morning, but I struggle with the need for my little one to get outside too. He loves to play outdoors, and if we spend his waketime doing schooling he doesn’t get outside to play. I have found that reading literature while the children are eating lunch works well, and then we can go outside to play after lunch. I will take my lunch outside while they play. If any more schooling still needs to be done we can do that while the 2 y/o is napping.
Sorry I’m just now seeing the newer responses. Thanks so much for the advice. I have looked at HWOT for both of my boys actually and just didn’t want to fork over the money. I may take a second look for my younger at least. It would be well worth it if it would help him. Questa7, thanks for the link. I’ll go take a look.
4myboys, it normally takes about 2 hours or so if I were to just sit down and do everything uninterrupted. As it is, it normally takes us all morning because I have to take time for everyone. I try to do history about 3 times per week and Science 2 times per week. I would still like to add Spanish (don’t know what program is good), handicrafts, and artist/composer studies. Thurs. I didn’t have school in the morning because I thought I’d wait and do it during my dd’s naptime. Then my older ds got an opportunity to go to a Traditional Music Center and hear lots of different music. I ended up calling that field trip day. I’m afraid of not doing school in the morning because I’m afraid it will be really hard to actually get done if I put it off.
Anyway, hopefully this week will go better. I always worry I’m not doing enough for my kids no matter what I do.
This is my 3rd year and I have a 7th, 3rd, and 1st grader in the mix. My 6 year old does not have a proper grip but NEVER colored as a small child. Coloring is so important to hand development I have discovered. I try to get him to do just a bit of writing and copy work each day. He has a knack for math but right now we are only doing Life of Fred and he LOVES it. He also likes to do some math stuff on starfall. Have you tried a computer program for math skills and maybe some phonics? I can’t lie and say I taught my younger kids their letter sounds. I owe it all to Leap Frog Letter Factory and Word Factory. I kid you not! These videos are amazing. As for spelling I think maybe putting some cute nursery rhymes on large paper and letting them point to the words while you read together helps keep them interested and focused. The more words they see the better off they will be.
For what it’s worth, I hate HWOT. My son did it in preschool and picked up the worst habits of making letters like the wood pieces! He pieced the letters together on paper like they did with the wood! UGH!
As for the toddler, how about some playdo or water colors during your instructional time? Window clings? Rice in a pan with scoops? Anything new that you can swtich around will keep a toddler busy for at least 15 minutes at a time.
We recently worked a dragon puppet into our homeschool. My kids just love him….. I should have thought of this earlier. It is doing wonders for my daugher. She is trying to read Bob Books. She has learned quite a bit and is now teaching them to her dragon friend…. 🙂
It will go by faster than you think. You will get through this year and at the end you will go, “That wasn’t so bad” I can’t beleive I got there and it is all done.” It goes by so fast and you will be surprised when you did it all on your own… Don’t give up now. It is all just in your head. Take things easy and focus on what needs to be done not on if you are doing it all right or how you can mess it all up. If you think about sending them back read ” How children Fail” by John Hotz. It will make you feel better.
Have a blessed school year!
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