"Divided" free movie viewing

Heather – you’re “red cheek smiley” makes me grin – your post is “cute”. 

I just sent the link to our Youth Pastor for his thoughts.  While our church has been really starting to focus on growth and mentorship and equipping men as spiritual leaders, I’d love to know what he thinks about the claims against kids Church and Youth Group.  I suspect he’ll be on the defensive as he is in the middle of preparing for Youth Wars — a big Youth Rally where several youth groups from all over the maritimes get together — they have some competitions I think — like sports and drama teams, etc.  He is one of the main organizers.  I might be rocking the boat a bit, but all I did was ask for some feed back on the movie.

Up until this year I’d been very involved in children’s ministry (I workered mostly with the toddlers, but also pre-schoolers and pre-teens, and to a lesser extend the youth — mostly in drama, like directing the Easter drama or Christmas musical —  I guess I’m kind of versitle that way).  I told him that I would not be signing up for children’s ministry this year because I didn’t want that extra responsibility during my first year of homeschool, but that I would be willing to substitute as a helper on occassion.  My husband has also been helping with the pre-teen boys class, of which our son is a member.  It’s always hard to get sufficient volunteers to run the programs, and yet we usually manage.  Still, imagine if they eliminated the youth and SS programs the amount of money that could be put into other minstries! 

Now, our church started using Think Orange 252 Basics this past year for curriculum, which really stresses the role of the parents as the primary instructors in matters of faith, with the church acting as a support system.  Our Youth Pastor was explaining to me that this year they plan to have a Family Event on the first Saturday of the month in which the virture or theme for the month would be introduced to families (parents and children present together for this) through music and skits and resources for parents to use at home throughout the month. 

Also, our men’s ministry is really focusing on mentorship for age 13 and up (Kidz Church ends at grade 6), and equiping fathers to be spiritual leaders in their home, as well as to mentor other men.  They are trying to come up with a similar program for women.  But is this going to counter the damage youth group and age segregated programs are doing if they are unbiblical?  I’m really thinking hard on this!

Ours is rural Baptist church in a teeny-tiny back-water in Nova Scotia with a growing congregation of more than 200.  (not big by many standards, but compared to the other three churches in a 15 km radius we have a larger congregation than all three combined)  I am also on staff, so it really matters to me that we as a congregation strive to conform to God’s designs for the church.  Still, change takes time.  But thankfully we belong to a church that wants to grow in the Lord and do things according to His design! 

I sent the link to our Associate Pastor of Family Ministries (most people still call him our Youth pastor becasue when he was brought on staff 7 years ago that’s what his title was.  They only changed it about a year ago.)  He responded that

“(our Lead Pastor ) just sent it to me to watch- he said they do make some extreme points in areas but the core point is something worth watching – and we will be discussing it next Wednesday at our staff meeting.” 

I guess now this is circling around facebook and through other sources, many of our other FBC parents will have seen it (and will be talking about it) by the time the pastors meet next week.  It will be interesting to see what comes of it all. 

I’ve not gotten one email from them since I signed up for the newletter. No worries.

tara

I don’t want to be a part of another email list, and I’m not interested in their newsletter, so I guess I can’t watch the movie. That I don’t understand. You would think they would want people to watch it who might be interested in joining their organization instead of just “preaching to the choir,” as they say.

Is there any way to watch it without signing up for their newsletter?

I agree that while it is the Father’s responsibility biblically to be the spiritual head of the family, the majority of the actual work is put on the mother’s shoulders, especially in our homes where moms are home all day raising the children and the father is at work providing.  But even just fulfilling that Biblical division of roles– father providing, mother nurturing– is a spiritual testimony to our children about obedience to God.  What the father must be careful to do is ensure that the children respect and honour their mother by showing her respect and honour himself.  Simply by letting the children know that he is in complete agreement with what the mother is teaching, and showing that through his actions is important.  There are many cases where the father is absent physically, mentally and/or spiritually, and that leaves moms to be the sole spiritual leader — a situation that God never intended.  What fathers need to be careful of is not using work, or the fact that mom is handling it, as an excuse to absent themselves from the family’s spiritual journey.  They must be an example to their children as to what a godly father, husband, friend, etc. should be, for both their sons who should want to be like them, and their daughters who should want to someday marry someone like them.  That means being present and available as much as it within his power to be so.  When men opt to let some one else do this, their children really miss out.  

Although I would have been interested in hearing the views of homeschool vs public school, that wasn’t the point the film-makers were making, though there was enough in there to make me wish they had of spoken more about the detrimental effects of seperating the family in terms of public education.  I think they probably figured opening one can of worms was enough for a one hour documentary.  Perhaps they’ll make a Part II?

While our church does have a children’s and youth ministry program, I am not completely convinced it would be best to eliminate them.  Our children grade six and under are present throughout the service until right before the message when they are dismissed to their classrooms for the last 40mins or so.  No one is concerned about children staying through the message.  My younger son has done so several times because he wants to stay with me. 

Our church has a youth group that meets most friday evenings, but also a girls teen Bible study and a boys teen bible study on wednesday nights in different places.  We have a very active core group of teens who are really making efforts to live for Jesus.  They are being given lots of opportunities to serve during the service as well — they are serving in the audio-visual ministry, the worship bands, and welcome ministries. Is it possible that these youth ministries still have a place of sorts?  while they should not replace the instruction in the home, could they not serve a need the same way that men need to hang out with other men or women need to hang out with other women?  And small children need to play with other small children?  While responsible leadership, supervision and accountability are needed (and I am sad to say it is not always present in every church), wouldn’t it be better to allow teens to interact in this environment than some of the other secular alternatives?  Especially if faith is being taught in the home, and the church is only reinforcing that instruction?  Again, sadly not always the case.

While ours is not an family integrated church per se, we do do a lot of integrated events, such as family camp and winter carnival, and BBQs and picnics.  Everyone is welcome and everyone knows everyone else’s children and we are very close and supportive of one another.  I think we have, or are getting closer to, a pretty good handle on this balance at our church for the most part.  I would like to see us move closer to the biblical model, but I am content with the fact that we are moving in the right direction.