I agree that while it is the Father’s responsibility biblically to be the spiritual head of the family, the majority of the actual work is put on the mother’s shoulders, especially in our homes where moms are home all day raising the children and the father is at work providing. But even just fulfilling that Biblical division of roles– father providing, mother nurturing– is a spiritual testimony to our children about obedience to God. What the father must be careful to do is ensure that the children respect and honour their mother by showing her respect and honour himself. Simply by letting the children know that he is in complete agreement with what the mother is teaching, and showing that through his actions is important. There are many cases where the father is absent physically, mentally and/or spiritually, and that leaves moms to be the sole spiritual leader — a situation that God never intended. What fathers need to be careful of is not using work, or the fact that mom is handling it, as an excuse to absent themselves from the family’s spiritual journey. They must be an example to their children as to what a godly father, husband, friend, etc. should be, for both their sons who should want to be like them, and their daughters who should want to someday marry someone like them. That means being present and available as much as it within his power to be so. When men opt to let some one else do this, their children really miss out.
Although I would have been interested in hearing the views of homeschool vs public school, that wasn’t the point the film-makers were making, though there was enough in there to make me wish they had of spoken more about the detrimental effects of seperating the family in terms of public education. I think they probably figured opening one can of worms was enough for a one hour documentary. Perhaps they’ll make a Part II?
While our church does have a children’s and youth ministry program, I am not completely convinced it would be best to eliminate them. Our children grade six and under are present throughout the service until right before the message when they are dismissed to their classrooms for the last 40mins or so. No one is concerned about children staying through the message. My younger son has done so several times because he wants to stay with me.
Our church has a youth group that meets most friday evenings, but also a girls teen Bible study and a boys teen bible study on wednesday nights in different places. We have a very active core group of teens who are really making efforts to live for Jesus. They are being given lots of opportunities to serve during the service as well — they are serving in the audio-visual ministry, the worship bands, and welcome ministries. Is it possible that these youth ministries still have a place of sorts? while they should not replace the instruction in the home, could they not serve a need the same way that men need to hang out with other men or women need to hang out with other women? And small children need to play with other small children? While responsible leadership, supervision and accountability are needed (and I am sad to say it is not always present in every church), wouldn’t it be better to allow teens to interact in this environment than some of the other secular alternatives? Especially if faith is being taught in the home, and the church is only reinforcing that instruction? Again, sadly not always the case.
While ours is not an family integrated church per se, we do do a lot of integrated events, such as family camp and winter carnival, and BBQs and picnics. Everyone is welcome and everyone knows everyone else’s children and we are very close and supportive of one another. I think we have, or are getting closer to, a pretty good handle on this balance at our church for the most part. I would like to see us move closer to the biblical model, but I am content with the fact that we are moving in the right direction.
