Child who complains about the smallest things

I am dealing with this issue with one of my children as well. I have much better success when I don’t verbally draw attention to his complaining in his moment of despair. Rather, I go about my business, hum a little tune, sweetly ask him if he would like me to help him finish, and let the natural consequences motivate him (chores before meals, free time, fun activities, etc). Nagging him when he is miserable is counterproductive. When he sees that the family still moves and the world turns despite his complaints and refusals to help, he scrambles to finish. I like to keep beat him at his procrastination game by allowing him to fail the timetable and sometimes miss out. Also, I prefer to discuss his character with him during a quiet moment apart from his active duties because he sometimes performs the “I am the bad child of the family” act for attention.

As far as keeping this child busy to strenthen his willingness muscles, the tasks I add to his day are little errands that can be done in a few moments that aren’t ususally “chores.” This way I subtlely get him moving while he hardly notices his “labor of decision.” Things like running a dirty wash cloth to the hamper, helping little sister get a glass of water, sweeping up a dirt pile in kitchen after one of us has swept. Right now he is my secret designated gopher (go-for) boy out of the seven children.

When I add in an extra “real” chore as discipline, it is usually during our free time in the afternoon. Otherwise, it could turn into an all day thing to get this boy (almost 8 years old) to accomplish anything extra. His free time is precious to him because he loves loves loves to do his projects with enthusiasm (he is definitely energetic when he wants to be).

By the way, I was like this as well when I was a child, a teenager, and even now as a full grown mother. That is why we run on some sort of time schedule because I would have no concept of time. And the funny thing is, when I finally make the decision and get going…I am unstoppable. The children who are like me are my best workers when they get going too. Interia: a body in motion stays in motion…but if we stop…wow…it takes us a lot to get the wheels to turn again.