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Boys not enjoying learning
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I am very frustrated and looking for advice. I have 2 boys (13 and 10) that do not enjoy homeschooling (although they do not want to go out to school either) and each day is spent with whining, complaining about not wanting to do their work and me frustrated and wondering if I should give up and put them in school:( They most times cannot narrate anything that we have read and I feel why am I wasting my time? KWIM?
Brief history – they both attended Montessori private school until 4 years ago and I took them out in grades 3 and 1. (several reasons…financial, illness in one and anxiety in another). Anyway, it was very quick with no preparation on my part. I went to the library read the Well Trained Mind and dove in full force imitating school the way I remembered. Within a couple months we experienced tears and burnout (from all of us) and almost quit then. But then I found Ambleside online, and this sounded great! But after a year and a half of this I realized with all the reading I was doing with them they really weren’t getting it…I was often faced with blank faces (sometimes my own lol). So after speaking with a more advanced homeschool mom I realized the books were way too advanced and there was definitely no love of learning happening (even for me and I love reading!). So again I researched and found SCM…I love how simply laid out everything is, books can be challenging but not overwhelming, etc, BUT when it comes time each day to get to work it starts again…they will rush through to get it done because they have to and take no interest in learning at all!
I end up frustrated wondering if I should give up, they have no natural love of learning and we are all unhappy…how do you inspire and motivate your children (boys especially) to want to learn?
In all of this, did you ever de-school them? Give them time to “get over” their school, and the school-at-home that you did?
I’m just wondering if taking an extended break for everyone might help…
Honestly, they sound like normal boys. My son tolerates school and I wouldn’t say he enjoys it like my girls all do. He likes to just rush through things and then be free to go do his boy stuff. I try to pick out books that appeal to the boy adventure side. Have you seen this list?
http://www.excellenceinwriting.com/files/TB-Resources_0.pdf
Is narrating the problem, or is it their lack of care? At their age it would be hard to jump in cold turkey with that. Take it in small steps, giving them incentives for trying their best. My son loves his free time, so I reward his best efforts with extra time. If attitude is a problem, then the free time is cut and sometimes Dad needs to come in the picture with some firm, manly encouragement. 🙂
But mainly, try to keep it light right now until their narration starts to improve. There are also some good narration ideas on this site. Give it lots of time, keep a pleasant face with them, and stand your ground that you expect their best efforts.
My son loves that I homeschool him, he tells me that alot…especially when i make some favorite food treats and special lunches for him and the girls. LOL. Remember that our relationships are more important than narration skills, etc. Hang in there and pray, pray, pray for Gods spirit to guide your teaching. He knows what they need already, trust in that. 🙂
Thank you “simple home” for assuring me that my boys sound like normal boys:) I think too often I read the posts/stories about how great things are going in a families homeschool and I think why are we so different?! My boys are both pretty active and would much prefer to be doing “boy things” as you said.
I think perhaps too I have probably not been consistent with things like narrating because I have felt overwhelmed by homeschooling myself. After thinking things through this morning I probably have these “high expectations or ideals” on what I think we should be doing and we cannot live up to them. Which is probably the cause of most of my frustrations. My oldest has only one more year to highschool and I think that the fear/pressure is setting in, etc.
I need to keep reminding myself to pray and trust;)
Totally normal. My older two are 14 and 11. I suggest a break for about three weeks. During that time spend some time in prayer and discuss with the boys what they want and what they need. At 13, he probably need some sort of control to balance things out. What are using with them? What are their interests?
Oakblossoms – that sounds like a good idea taking a bit of a breather. We are moving end of April to a new city, not far from here (about 30min) but they have only lived in our city now (different houses over time though) and both are feeling nervous.
We are following SCM for pretty well everything other than we are using Queens LL also and math mammoth for math. We were using Life of Fred for fractions and decimals/percents but he was having real difficulty linking the reading and the math. (so not sure what to use for higher maths). My 13 is very interested in computers and is very good/comfortable on them (self teaching), not just gaming but also websites, etc. and he has reptiles (geckos and bearded dragon) for pets. He loves all animals (our small dog also). He loves the outdoors which he has been missing in our present house.
My younger is still very much into action figures/toys but he loves to draw and create art. He is not as outdoorsy as my older.
We do not know alot of homeschoolers here and are hoping that when we move things will change. I think my 13 year old has been finding it tough not having the social network of friends so he has been having that online via gaming, facebook, etc.
I hope your move goes well. It sounds like a good change!
Your boys are blessed to have each other…they can grow and learn together as boys and be each others best friends. Even with a slight age difference, being home and doing life together will keep them close.
I know you know this, but be careful with your son doing online social stuff. I have a friend whose son had a bad experience. It is hard for them to discern wisdom with friends that we don’t fully know…especially online. Just a thought… Hope I don’t sound preachy! 🙂
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