At what point do you throw in the towel?

First off,  don’t make any decisions about changing teaching styles when you are angry.

Parenting is difficult,  and so is homeschooling when a child is rebelling.

What are your goals for his education?  Is it to provide a CM education,  to find something he will do willingly,  or to somehow survive educating him, and preserve your relationship with him in the process?

Each one of us have different goals and parenting approaches.

Hopefully you can learn his learning style and come up with solutions with his input.

One of my boys didn’t like much of anything,  so he wanted control of when to do math, etc. (2 lessons every other day, preferred to work independently (outside if possible) and liked to read “regular” books vs. a textbook.   I often gave him a few options and asked which one he hated the least!  He graduated, and we have a good relationship.  That said,  he is the compliant type.

Hopefully your son knows that you are on his side,  and you want him to succeed.

My dd7 is active and for her we are trying Konos,  but with living books and CM elements such as narration and copy work.  She does ok with CM but I feel like I am dragging her along with the older ones and putting blocks, etc. in her hands to keep her quiet.

I am going to try Konos unit studies to help engage her more and provide her with active learning opportunities.

Don’t give up on your son. You will find what works for him.

Praying!

My son despises narration and struggles with it, because it’s HARD for him. He’s so extremely visual, that he struggles with auditory input. Memory recall from auditory input is hard, in fact almost impossible for him. He HAS to see it. So, you might want to consider something like this is going on with your son.  Maybe narration is hard for your son for a biophysical reason.

Try letting him read the lesson himself, or draw a picture while you read (some kids need to be moving/doing while listening in order to be able to best focus). As for afterwards, try having him write a narration for you, even if it’s just one or two lines to start. Or let him act out the narration. Or build something with Lego to show you what he read about. Or do a drawing or painting or model something out of playdoh. Narration doesn’t have to be just “tell me back what you read”. Make it something that’s easy and engaging for him. There’s a great list on the SCM website of narration ideas. Hopefully someone can find it for you.

Secondly, I like the previous post – find books that interest him. Ask him what he would like to read about, what he wants to learn about.

Third, it sounds as though quite honestly, you have more pressing issues to deal with than science or history. As you said – there were unhealthy relationships that have damaged your son as well as your relationship and authority with him. In my opinion, I would probably take a break from the extra lessons and instead pour myself into habits training. If you don’t already own it, I would get a copy of Laying Down the Rails and start working through that. Depending on how serious the issues are with your son etc… then, you might even want to look into seeking some counseling for him and/or the family.

But I definitely wouldn’t throw in the towel yet. There are other options that can be tried first.

Dear happier mom,
Our oldest son left public school in mid-8th grade from being bullied. He was sometimes difficult to school up until graduation. He ended up getting a morning job on our neighbors beef farm, second year into schooling. He was much more attentive after his physical outlet and he developed a great relationship with our neighbor., Because of his schedule for chores, I gave him the choice to school early am of mid-afternoon. we woke at 5:30am and finished our together work by 8am, when he had to leave and I breakfasted the others and then schooled them. I look back with fondness of those early morning days together, even though it was extremely hard for me because i’m not a early am person and he is. I also, think God gave us that alone time because it was just what we needed!
I thought maybe this idea would help especially if he has few friends. my son has no friends his own age, most greater than 60. he said there are more reliable and he can relate to them better. Blessings, Martha