My son, who will be 17 in a little more than a week, is taking dual enrollment classes at a local college. The classes really aren’t that hard, but it is a moderate amount of work. The problem is that he procrastinates and then has to rush through to get it done. He’s of an age that I am working not to nag him and micromanage. I encourage him to not wait, etc. Of course, he ignores me and ends up turning schoolwork in late at times.
I am working to not get on his case about school and let him handle it. When he is rushed to get a lot done, he gets angry and frustrated. I understand failure is part of learning and I am tempted to just let him bomb in school and let him face all consequences of his procrastination. He really is brilliant but doesn’t like school and is very lazy. I have tried to work with him with a schedule, but he doesn’t want me to interfere.
Thoughts? Suggestions? I realize if he doesn’t do well with his dual enrollment classes, it will affect his overall GPA and his college transcript. In order to do what he wants for a living, he will need a college degree.
That’s a tough situation. I have a 17 year old as well, and she certainly gets overwhelmed with the demands of school, church stuff, and extra-curriculars from time to time. Sometimes we as parents just need to step in and help them figure out how to get the important things done.
I would have a serious talk with your son about the importance of getting his work done in a timely manner. He IS old enough to take care of it himself, but if he is not going to, he is still a child and as such you can still step in when needed.
Hi there! I understand how frustrating this can be—I’ve faced similar challenges with my own kids, especially as I homeschool and work to help them develop good habits (I share about this on my blog, heretheygrow.com). Teenagers are at that tricky age where they’re testing independence but still need guidance.
Here are some strategies that might help:
Natural Consequences: It sounds like you’re already considering this, and it can be a powerful teacher. Sometimes, letting them face the fallout of missed deadlines is what they need to take responsibility.Shifting the Conversation: Instead of framing it as “not procrastinating,” try discussing how he can set himself up for success in his goals. For example, if he has a dream career, tie the importance of time management to achieving that goal.
Pomodoro Technique: This has worked wonders in my home. Encourage him to work in short, focused bursts (25 minutes), followed by a short break. It’s less overwhelming and can help him build momentum.
A Low-Key Accountability System: Since he resists direct interference, maybe set up a weekly “check-in” where he updates you on his plans and progress. Frame it as him managing his own schedule while you’re just a sounding board.
Highlight Wins: When he does manage his time well, celebrate it. Positive reinforcement can make a big difference.
Ultimately, the balance between letting go and offering support is so tricky, but you’re not alone in navigating it. Teens do grow into better habits with time and practice.
Wishing you both the best! If you want more ideas, feel free to reach out—I’ve found that community advice can be a game-changer. 😊