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Advice for current life situation?
- This topic has 6 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 14 years, 5 months ago by
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Hi everyone, I was hoping to get some advice, tips, ideas, etc. to get through our current life situation with our family in tact. In fact, I would really like to grow some habits during this time and use it as an opportunity to grow!
I’ll give some background to give a clear picture of where we’re at. I have 3 children. 7 yro dd, 5yro ds and 3yro dd. I have been struggling healthwise for a LONG time but am just now starting to see some real progress and am actually getting better. My Husband was laid off in September. We have been struggling financially because of medical costs as well as other “pop up’s” along the way ( transmission in our van, emergency dentist bills, etc.). So around the end of Sept. we moved into my parents place. I was on bed rest and needed help with the kids ( not to mention myself) and my husband was looking for work elswhere. I have noticed that a lot of the things that I thought that we had dealt with in our kids as well as our routines sort of just got blown out of the water with so many others taking care of my kids. In our home and in their’s. They have different rules, different routines, different values, and different ways of dealing with bad behavior. I think my kids got shuffled around so much that they are just a little confused and feeling uprooted etc. It is showing up in various ways throughout our days and in our behaviours. Now, my husband found work in a different city 12 hours away from my parents. It is a very good job and we are excited about this, however we have no place to live yet and he starts on Dec.1st. Sooo, the kids and I will be staying with my husbands parents, 5 hours away from where hubby will be, until I am fully healed and /or we have found a place for all of us to stay. My in laws DO NOT agree with homeschooling and have definite ideas of their own as far as training the kids and routines and dicsipline goes. I don’t have a very outgoing personality and in fact am learning to deal with fear of people ( in laws esspecially!). I desperatly feel the need to get back into some habits training and routines that work for us as a family. The kids need some stability again and they need to know that Their father and I are the ones to listen to formost. I am starting to get very overwhelmed! I am also very nervous about homeschooling right under my in-laws noses! How do I accomplish all that needs to be done in this situation without even my husband around for five days out of every week. I don’t even know how long we will be there. I am praying for godly ideas but would also like some counsel from those who have been in similar circumstances.
I know this is long, sorry! I look forward to any and all godly advice! -Miranda
I realize that you don’t know how long this situation may last, Miranda, but would it work to call a school holiday for the next few weeks while you are staying at your in-laws’ house? You could swap a month of holiday now for a month of holiday this summer (or whenever) and plan to do the school work then, when you would hopefully be in your new place. During the time without the added pressure of school work, you could focus on your children’s hearts, habits, and reading together, and keep your stress level down as much as possible. You could explain to your in-laws that you thought it would work best to take a month off now and trade it for a month next summer, or however you want to explain it simply.
Now, obviously, if you’re going to be there for six months, this won’t work. But you still might want to back off the school work for the first few weeks until you and the children can make the transition to a different household and “find your feet.” Then start adding school work back in a little at a time.
Thank you for responding. I had not even considered taking time off because it seems like we are a bit “behind” in what I had scheduled for this term because of taking days off here and there while I was so sick. As well, they were being taken care of by others so often that it was difficult to make sure they did their work. I guess it just makes me a little nervous, being behind in our schooling and it is just the beginning of the school year. However I have planned for “all year” school so maybe I should take off a little more time and just re-adjust our terms. I will talk to my hubby about this idea and see what he thinks.
P.S. Sorry about all the spelling and grammar mistakes in my first post. I just re-read it and was cringing the whole way through!
Thanks again for the counsel, it is much appreciated!-Miranda
I will be praying for you, sometimes it seems when it rains it pours. We moved across state about 6 years ago and lived with my mom for a little over a year, and it is tough to have 2 women living together. I would pray that God grants you grace and favor in your mil’s eyes and that you have wisdom in your daily activities. Maybe if you don’t feel comfortable taking a total break from school, you could take a break for a couple weeks and then just do the basics. For example: bible study, read good books to them, have the kids do math, and the older ones a Daily Gram or something similar. Maybe you could set them up with journals to write about their experiences traveling and moving. I would definitely not worry about music, art, history, geography, or science. If you felt well enough you could defiinitely take them for long nature walks everyday. I am sure what they need most right now is your time, play games instead. Play war and make it 2 cards that they have to mulitply or add depending on their math levels. Play Scrabble to help spelling and reading and even letter recognition. I know it was hard for everyone for you to have been sick so long.
Miranda,
I will be praying for you. I know it would be very hard to live with someone even under the best circumstances. We lived with my husband’s grandmother for a few weeks, it was hard. I agree with taking it slow and concentrating on math, reading, Bible and the rest can just be on hold for a little while. Give yourself some grace and hugs!
~Cindie
Thank you for your prayers! I have been talking to me husband about this issue and possibly taking time off of school. We feel that your advice is probably a good idea. I will just focus on regaining some ground in the routines and habits department as well as spending quality time with them. I am going to read them really good books, devotions, scripture memory and maybe some math with my oldest so she doesn’t lose any ground in that department. I will pray that my in-laws don’t give me grief about stopping the kids studies!
Thank you so much for the idea, it actually never even crossed my mind to slow down the schooling for a bit while we work on other areas in this busy time. I do see that it is wisdom, though. Maybe even after our break we will be refreshed and excited enough to get caught up on some of the things that are behind. Now I just need to find some good books with characters that exhibit the habit of attention, as this is the habit I am working on first. Just read laying down the rails and am formulating a plan to implement as soon as possible. Thank you all again for your prayers and your counsel! Have a happy holiday season! -Miranda
I’ll give some background to give a clear picture of where we’re at. I have 3 children. 7 yro dd, 5yro ds and 3yro dd. I have been struggling healthwise for a LONG time but am just now starting to see some real progress and am actually getting better. My Husband was laid off in September. We have been struggling financially because of medical costs as well as other “pop up’s” along the way ( transmission in our van, emergency dentist bills, etc.). So around the end of Sept. we moved into my parents place. I was on bed rest and needed help with the kids ( not to mention myself) and my husband was looking for work elswhere. I have noticed that a lot of the things that I thought that we had dealt with in our kids as well as our routines sort of just got blown out of the water with so many others taking care of my kids. In our home and in their’s. They have different rules, different routines, different values, and different ways of dealing with bad behavior. I think my kids got shuffled around so much that they are just a little confused and feeling uprooted etc. It is showing up in various ways throughout our days and in our behaviours. 
Thanks again for the counsel, it is much appreciated!
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