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Advice? Child's lack of focus?…Trying for short lessons
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Our 9YO has every good intention and wants to do well in her school. It is however a constant struggle to get her to focus, even for short periods. -Shall I make it even shorter time periods? She can focus on a good book for hours, or creative play etc. With any chore, or pencil and paper work, she is “SO Tired” and very distracted. For example, she is very excited about cursive, and asks to do it, then she cant focus, she simply becomes exahusted; even though she is very proud of the few letters she did, and wants to work on more. I find that if I brake the lessons up (3 min of handwritting 3X per day) our whole day is consumed, and it messes up our family schedual-she winds up missing out on other things.
Any advice?
Thanks!
Exactly how long do you require her to sit for the short period of writing and paper work? Have you tried a timer to help her visualize the time left? That might help her stay focused if she knows the time will end soon. Also, it might be helpful to show a reasonable amount of written work you want her to do, then add another page (an extra practice page) behind it. Tell her (encouragingly) when she focuses on the first page and does her BEST with the time given, then the practice sheet does not need to be done. Hooray! This could help her to learn to focus on getting that first sheet done. Does that make sense? It works for my dd. 🙂
Well for handwritting only 5-8 minutes (1-2 short pages of HWWOT). I did try the timer, that ‘pressure’ caused frustration. We pulled her out of a Christian school in 1st grade, it seems she still has some negative conotations with things
-the timer, while a great idea, is one source. We have had her eyes checked, the DR said they are fine-any other vision threapy I should know about? We live in a very small town, not the best med staff-maybe they are off?We do have the same issue with chores-any ‘non-fun’ chore, or school with pencil and paper she takes SO much longer than she needs to, and is easily distracted, and suddenly very ‘tired’. She loves rewards, and that helps to motivate, combined with short tasks-but I dont want to have to ‘reward’ everything (of course verbal praise goes with every good effort, job, etc). Maybe I need a better system-I dont know…
I must say she has improved since we pulled her from school, but it is still a great struggle.
Thank you so much for your help and ideas!
I wasn’t trying to jump the gun, but you indicated that she was frustrated with her own performance. That made me wonder about vision therapy. Here is a link describing what it is:
Here is a link to some online exercises:
I have not looked very closely at this last website. I have one other child that I’m thinking may need VT (you described her perfectly, btw), but our insurance does not cover it and so I was just looking for something to try to see if it helps (at least until the $$$ shows up to pay for appointments!).
Blessings,
Cindy
My dd had the same type of symptoms, and we checked her eyes several times (she was tired,etc…) and we discovered processing issues and food allergies (yes, allergies affect this type of thing A LOT). You may not need this info, but it is another area to look at if it is not resolved any other way. =)
sheraz, what do you mean by processing issues? My 9 year old has already had several years of vision therapy and she has food allergies. The last year has been torture for us all. She has had anxiety attacks and trouble sleeping and all kinds of trouble learning. It’s getting to us. I’m going to see a family therapist soon, but day to day it really causes a lot of trouble. I did take her to the doctor, but she didn’t do much of a check up and she says to get therapy.
So by “Processing” do you mean visually or mentally or what?
@art – I mean there are several kinds of processing disorders that affect people –
visual: when what your child’s brain is not “seeing” what his eyes are telling him to see (and vision tests are normal) http://www.understanding-learning-disabilities.com/visual-processing-disorder.html
auditory: when your child’s hearing is normal, but what you say is not always what they hear (and so for my kiddo, the way she pronounces things and writing is hard because the phonetics are processed differetntly in her brain) http://kidshealth.org/parent/medical/ears/central_auditory.html
sensory; when your child is either over stimulated or understimulated by things around him…noise, light, touch, etc http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/ or http://www.thespiralfoundation.org/pdfs/Fact%20Sheet%20for%20Educators.pdf
there are probably others that I am not even aware of… =)
I am not an expert at all…I just know what I have read and have witnessed in my child. Processing disorders affect the way the child learns, self-esteem, relationships, everything. It can manifest itself as ADD/ADHD, depression, hyperness, sensitivity, etc…all of which is “fixable’ once you know what is the issue. http://www.ehow.com/about_5488617_processing-disorders-children.html
I found the issues by googling “processing disorders” and reading through the check-off lists and symptons. I went to the Doctor and told her and then scheduled the visit to the audiologist who performed the test and recommended treatment. HTH.
Hmmmm… apparently I have some eye issues… I can’t do the convergent or divergent stuff (and all the 3D stuff after it) to save my life! (I knew I could never do those “magic eye” pictures…. and I was an adult before I realized that viewmasters had 3D pictures (most still look 2D to me…) and an adult before I could see a 3D movie in 3D… (and I suspect I still miss a lot….)
Wow…
@art – Has your dd been tested for allergies? I ask because even though I react immediately to some items, I do not react immediately to everything. There are a couple of different substances which cause anxiety attacks for me – some from topical use and some from ingestion. I would never have figured out some of the allergies on my own through an elimination diet, so if you’ve not had her tested for allergies and sensitivities, that would be a very good thing to do, though pricey. It is worth it in the end, IMHO.
Honestly, I don’t want anyone to panic and start assigning these things to your children…I really am amazed at how much allergies can invade a person’s whole life. If I were to be starting fresh, the very first thing I would check for is the allergies – food and environmental. My dd was having a lot of the attention issues, the inability to focus and concentrate, the handwriting and small motor control for detail work were very seriously impaired by her allergies…milk and milk products, wheat, gluten and yeast were her top ones. Once we removed these and allowed her body to heal…she improved sooo much. I know you all think that I am a bit rabid about this 😉 but it is serious stuff. According to one doctor’s book, (who studies this) 85% of the children she sees for serious sttention issues (think ADHD) has a serious food allergy, even though it is not the epi-pen reaction most of us associate with allergies. Think how much better off a child is by avoiding a certain food, and maybe a label and/or a medication.
To top it off, dd was also highly allergic to the family dog, certain trees, and dust mites… we had a fun year =)
So, I agree with Blue J…start with delayed food allergy reactions, environmental allergies…see where you are first.
Someone else mentioned a few days ago about making sure the chikd is comfortable, the tabletop is not too high etc…That can account for a lot of attention issues too. Hope we didn’t blow you out of the water…=)
We have tested her with the naturopath on the Meridian Stress Assessment machine. Her food allergies aren’t life threatening either. They give her sores in her mouth (herpes I guess–I had chicken pox while I was pregnant with her), tummy aches and anger.
Honestly, her worst trouble started last year around when we decided to get her immunizations updated. She hadn’t gotten them at 5 yrs old. I don’t really want to open a can of worms about immunizations; I just have been at my wit’s end.
The natruopathic tests say she “had a reaction” to the vaccines, and she’s been on homeopathics to clear it. But I think the ethanol in the homeopathics are giving her headaches–she’s allergic to corn.
Our allergies are not life threatening either, but besides the upset tummies and anger, they do cause brain fog, lethargy of muscles, and tired eyes. It is so hard to watch and endure the battles over this kind of thing. I wish that doctors had more time to spend with a patient…we miss a lot because of the pressures of time. I really hope that the therapy works for your family.
If you have a chance, see if any of the processing things can make a difference…whether she is formally diagnosed or not, some of the treatments can help and be done at home with no (ill) side effects like big deep hugs. Another of my dc has the issues of complete stress, etc. She has a couple of the items listed in the sensory processing side, and once I started to do a few of the things on that list, it has helped us all.
Like Suzukimom, I decided I have a sensory processing one too, hahaha…. For real, I hate shopping and after I read the book called “Raising Your Spirited Child” by Mary Sheedy Kutrinka I realized why. I am sensitive to noise and light. Shoppers are bombarded by both… =) I especially get cranky when I have my dc with me…there is so much to “control” and it stresses me out. You know the “boom-booms” you hear from cars with young drivers…it literally shoves me over the edge…everytime. It really helped me to know why. =)
Anyway, that book might be helpful to you, art. It is a keeper in my house for some of our issues.
These are really good points! My cousin (6) has Aspergers, and they found hidden food allergies made his struggles 10 fold! Do you guys recomend taking her to an MD allergist, or naturalpath? My ins will pay for the MD, but I always worry about ‘conflict’ if I simply want to opt for natural treatments. Also, thank you for the vision therapy info!! I had no idea! While we had her eyes tested, there certianly seems to be something going on relavant to her vision. When she was in T-school they thought she had ADD/ADHD-I knew there was no way because with many things she can focus for very long periods. Her ped at the time was AMAZING, and said there is no need to even talk about meds if we are homeschooling-so long as we are able to fine what works for her and customise her learning to fit her needs-somthing T-School simply cannot do no matter how ‘good’ it is.
With the vision therapy, where do I start? Her Ped?
Thanks again. I am so thankful to be able to glean from your wise ways!!
Kindly,
Stacy
I took her to the MD allergist and when I didn’t like him (no discussion, wanted her on 4 meds) took her to a child pulminologist (who is kind and listens), and then with those results are doing the more natural approach to fixing it. =) My doctors have been okay with doing things a little more natural. I just tell them I want to try something first, if that doesn’t work we’ll do it their way.
My dd was having having some dyslexia type things and it was the auditory processing interfering with it. We talked about the APD and it helps her to understand that she is not stupid or slow when she is having a tough day. She is alot more realxed about it now, so her school is much more positive. She is more focused and has much better fine motor skills.
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