Name: Teach Them Diligently (Branson)
Start: 2025-05-15T00:00:00-05:00
End: 2025-05-17T23:59:59-05:00
Location: Branson, MO

Tagged: Asd

This topic has 7 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 7 years, 6 months ago by psreitmom.

Viewing 8 posts - 1 through 8 (of 8 total)

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October 5, 2017 at 10:06 pm
psreitmom
Participant
My 14 year old daughter, whom I have posted about numerous times, is on the autism spectrum, with a language-based disability (no trouble talking, but trouble processing), dyslexia, dyscalculia, and attention difficulties. She really wants to do her work independently, but I always end up needing to help her understand directions or make sure she is pronouncing words properly, and her deficit in math requires much help from me. I want her to be independent, but I don’t know how to help her in that area when it comes to her school work. I am going to try to work on more independence in some things other than book work. But she wants to do school work independently. Although I know she is going to need me to continue teaching her in most areas, I would like to give her any possible opportunity. Does anyone have any suggestions?
October 6, 2017 at 6:33 am
2Corin57
Participant
Honestly? Respect her wishes and let her work alone. Chances are once you give her freedom, she will come to you once really stuck. I am dealing with this with my 7 year old with ASD. She really despises having me sit right next to her, always hovering – for a couple reasons. 1) for a child who is a perfectionist and sensitive to their mistakes (which most children on the spectrum are), having someone sit RIGHT THERE, watching and waiting for you to make a mistake, puts a LOT of pressure on them. 2) It makes them feel even more aware of their differences, their struggles, less in control.
You have to consider that your daughter is completely out of control of her own body – everything from how she thinks, feels, even processes compared to others, is a struggle for her, and often out of her control. As you probably know, a need for control over external factors is very important for children on the spectrum – and this is why. If they can’t control how they feel and think, then they will try to at least have a bit of control over things around them. This includes a need to feel independent, and honestly, I would respect that.
What I would do, is find resources that allow her independence. If your current resources don’t- then find something else. Choose computer based programs that read the instructions/questions to her, so you don’t have to worry as much about her being able to understand the written direction, especially for math. Teaching Textbooks or CTC math comes to mind. Or Monarch or Switched on Schoolhouse.
For grammar/spelling, what are you currently using? How bad does she struggle in those areas? Really, as long as she knows the 8 parts of speech, I would call it good for now. Many people don’t even know that, and function just fine in the real world. But, for grammar, while it’s a bit young, she might like the online Grammaropolis. Or perhaps Winston Grammar (Basic Level), or perhaps even a Montessori approach to grammar, both of which are very hands on and visual, and if you use the beginning/elementary level resources of Montessori, would be very self-teaching. Do not be afraid to put her back in certain areas, to allow her to build some confidence in her ability to work alone. Because quite honestly, if she can’t learn to work alone, she’s going to be very limited in how far she can go. I would also keep up the daily copywork. Let her do it on the computer if it is easier for her.
For the areas of science/history etc… drop the living books as the main learning source, which quite honestly, are typically a horrible fit for a child on the spectrum, especially one with your daughter’s challenges. They do far better with information that is presented in black and white format – a list of facts. Instead choose excellent encyclopedias like DK, Kingfisher, Usbourne even, on the topics you’re studying, or better yet, topics that interest her (their comprehension often is better when it’s a topic of interest to them). If you give her sources that are easier for her to process and of interest to her, she will a) have more independence and b) learn more. Continue oral/written narration.
My guess is, in order to honor your daughter’s wishes, and to help her flourish, you’re going to have to let go of your desire for a CM education, and instead just go with what works for her/supports her best. You can keep the CM elements like copywork, narration, and all the enrichments like music, composer, artist study that you do orally as a family. Continue to read aloud to your children every day, regardless of age. But for her core, she’s likely going to need a very different approach, if you want to allow her to achieve the ultimate goal of independent learning.
The transition may be slow, she’s going to struggle, she’s going to make mistakes – and you HAVE to let her. You have to let her try. Overtime, she’ll come to you more (in fact, you can make that the rule – yes, you may work independently now, just please come to me if you have a problem). If later on you notice she made a mistake, you can always try and go over problem areas with her later – after the fact (in the moment correction rarely goes well on the spectrum).
I think you may also need to set realistic expectations as to what outcomes you want met at 18. Will she go to college? University? What areas of interest does she hold career wise? Start focusing on what she will truly need in the future (ex. grammar may never be a real need for her, so don’t over teach it). If she struggles with dyscalculia and dyslexia, then odds are she may end up going into a more hands-on field, so start exploring options there. What about looking for a mentor in an area of interest she has? Let her start working with them independently?
We have switched to a full blown (semi-guided) unschooling format with my 7 year old, and her learning has exploded since I stepped back and gave her control.
October 6, 2017 at 7:48 am
psreitmom
Participant
2Corin57 – Thank you for taking the time to say all of this. I understand what you are saying, and I will definitely look into these resources. It’s hard for me not to sit with her and guide her, especially in math, because, as happened yesterday, letting her work independently, she missed a detail in the directions and ended up answering all the problems wrong. She is still learning to count money, as she still has difficulties going from quarters to dimes to nickels. She can count them individually, but mixing them confuses her. She’s getting better, but still needs help. The neuropsychologist said she will probably never do higher math, so he said to focus on time/sequence, money, and using a calculator. We haven’t been using a calculator, because I wanted her to add and subtract by thinking. Maybe it is time to get out the calculator, for adding money. She can add and subtract on paper, but now I need to let her function in the real world, like banking, grocery shopping, etc.
We read living books for history, because facts in this area would not work. I have some notes here from something I read, and it says to make geographical connections with animals, which she loves to learn about. Also, cultural studies were recommended. She enjoys science, in certain areas, so I want that to be more interest led. But, she can’t be learning about animals all through high school. We have been using Exploring Creation this year. I could let her try to read a small section on her own and write something she learned from it. She loves to write. We will definitely be using the library as well.
She does not know all the parts of speech. This is another difficult area. Grammaropolis sounds interesting. Maybe that would help her more than what I am doing with her.
I really appreciate the help. Other suggestions are welcome. Today is our day to piece together more independent work:)
October 6, 2017 at 8:18 am
retrofam
Participant
Cozy Grammar is another option. It is dvds. Our local library has it.
Do she like games? Maybe you can do games together to review specific things.
October 6, 2017 at 8:35 am
2Corin57
Participant
It’s hard for me not to sit with her and guide her, especially in math, because, as happened yesterday, letting her work independently, she missed a detail in the directions and ended up answering all the problems wrong. She is still learning to count money, as she still has difficulties going from quarters to dimes to nickels. She can count them individually, but mixing them confuses her. She’s getting better, but still needs help. The neuropsychologist said she will probably never do higher math, so he said to focus on time/sequence, money, and using a calculator. We haven’t been using a calculator, because I wanted her to add and subtract by thinking. Maybe it is time to get out the calculator, for adding money. She can add and subtract on paper, but now I need to let her function in the real world, like banking, grocery shopping, etc.
For this you might actually want to step away from a math program altogether, and just unschool for math, given that your main focus will be life-skills math. For time/calendar/sequencing, just make it a point daily to look at the time, the calendar etc… Say stuff like, “Today is October 6th, in 5 days we’re going to the store. Can you let me know what date/day that is?” Use a visual strip schedule for sequencing so she can visualize sequence of events. Or use a one week wall calendar, so she can focus on one week at a time of events. Make her a part of it, by asking her to add activities to the calendar that are coming up. Have her practice making daily or weekly schedules. Give her (or better yet, get her to make) a weekly/monthly planner, and use it, keeping track of upcoming events, errands that need to be run, deadlines for things, holidays etc… If she’s artistic, she could create her own wall calendar for the family to use, creating the monthly grids, as well as an assortment of artwork for the top page. Get her a clock kit and make a clock. Or explore water clocks, sundials etc… Read about the history of time, clocks and calendars. It’s really interesting stuff.
I would just let her learn through real life circumstances – set up a bank account, get her used to making deposits/withdrawals etc… Perhaps have a bank teller help her, instead of you. Many children (not just those on the spectrum) are more receptive to other people helping them, over their parents. Set up mock budgets that she has to maintain. I would also give her the cash and let her pay for the groceries etc… (perhaps sneak a moment with the cashier beforehand and ask her to be patient as your daughter figures out the money).
Let her start earning money – either through chores, odd-jobs, or perhaps she has a talent in an area of crafts. Let her create things and sell them. Let her have a garden and produce stand. Have her do a bake sale to raise money for a charity. Make money real and meaningful to her, not just a word problem that she has to read in some textbook and figure out with a pencil.
I would definitely be letting her use a calculator.
If you really want a curriculum/program feel, then perhaps look at Khan Acacdemy or IXL. Both are online, both will read you the question etc… and with these programs, you can pick and choose the topics you want to work on. Rather than waste money on a curriculum that’s covering material she is never going to use.
We read living books for history, because facts in this area would not work. I have some notes here from something I read, and it says to make geographical connections with animals, which she loves to learn about. Also, cultural studies were recommended. She enjoys science, in certain areas, so I want that to be more interest led. But, she can’t be learning about animals all through high school.
I would actually challenge this thinking – why can’t she just learn about animals? You can go incredibly in depth with the study of animals, into biology (dissections!), genetics & animal husbandry, earth science (study of habitats), political and social studies (conservation, effects of modern argiculture etc… ), history (biographies of famous biologists, zoologists, pioneers of conservation and veterinary sciences etc).
We don’t all need to learn chemistry and physics.
I could let her try to read a small section on her own and write something she learned from it. She loves to write. We will definitely be using the library as well.
Definitely! If she loves to write, then that is a strength. Let her use it!
October 6, 2017 at 10:21 am
psreitmom
Participant
retrofam – Thanks for your ideas. I have some grammar word cards for nouns, verbs, adjectives, and adverbs. I think I will use those for a while and let her build her own sentences with them.
Yes, she likes to play games. We have pony-opoly, which we haven’t played for a while. It would be good to pull out some of those games again. I have been so focused on getting ‘bookwork’ done, I’ve neglected things that would probably be a better help to her.
2corin57 – Thank you so much for all of your suggestion. I have been thinking about doing some money activities like you mentioned, but still focused on getting ‘bookwork’ done. I really believe using a calculator now will be less frustrating for her. She needs to function in real life and pushing the mental part of math has held her back in that area. I needed this reminder. I have to forget the books sometimes.
She has tried the online math programs like Khan and CTC, and they just didn’t work. She just needs to do it in real life. We did do a workbook that was strictly calendars, and one that was strictly clocks. They did help, but I need to be consistent in having her use them in real life. I did give her a planner book of her own and she was writing things in that. But, your idea of a weekly calendar that she can always see would be good.
My daughter will be excited if she can learn about animals for the next 4+ years. We talked about different sciences today that she may be interested in, and she came up with zoology, botany, weather, and human body. The botany and weather can be incorporated into some of those you mentioned. Health is required, so we’ll need to stick the human body in there, but we will need to do that somehow through babies. She loves babies, so learning about body systems, sicknesses, etc. by referring to babies, I think she would learn it well. All she talks about is being a homemaker and mother. So, she wants to be organizing, cooking, and anything that will help her when she is a wife and mother.
As far as her writing/spelling, I read that when a word is misspelled, just give the correct spelling. Don’t teach it. For the most part, I have been doing that. She just needs help in organizing her thoughts. An outline would help with that.
Thank you so much for helping me get my head out of the sand. I fall into the rut of working through books day in and day out. We were visiting our son and his family out-of-state over the weekend. My daughter-in-law has their children following a checklist/routine every morning. She also plans out her meals, I think, on a weekly basis. She does things very orderly. She is also talking about doing some things with in their homeschooling so there is more independent work. She has been battling adrenal fatigue for almost two years. She has 4 children, ages 8, 5, 2 1/2, and 1 this month. They informed us when we were there that that are having number 5 in April. So, homeschooling takes it toll on her, so she needs to give more independent work. This is what brought my 14 yo to start talking about independence. I know she has needed this sooner, but this is where we are. So, now is the time to really work on that. I appreciate all the help.
October 6, 2017 at 4:31 pm
2Corin57
Participant
She needs to function in real life and pushing the mental part of math has held her back in that area. I needed this reminder. I have to forget the books sometimes.
Something I had to learn (and I had to be told, to learn it, lol), is that children on the spectrum struggle with stuff that doesn’t make sense. In that – if they can’t see how it applies to their life, they struggle to learn it. They don’t do well with abstract. So you can give them worksheet after worksheet of clock and money problems, but unless you give them the real life application, it just won’t make much sense to them.
She has tried the online math programs like Khan and CTC, and they just didn’t work.
My son loves online math for fun, but he can not learn from it. He needs that workbook element to really reinforce it, plus of course real life applicability. My daughter on the other hand, while she enjoys workbooks for fun, her learning comes from real life situations.
My daughter will be excited if she can learn about animals for the next 4+ years. We talked about different sciences today that she may be interested in, and she came up with zoology, botany, weather, and human body. The botany and weather can be incorporated into some of those you mentioned. Health is required, so we’ll need to stick the human body in there, but we will need to do that somehow through babies. She loves babies, so learning about body systems, sicknesses, etc. by referring to babies, I think she would learn it well. All she talks about is being a homemaker and mother. So, she wants to be organizing, cooking, and anything that will help her when she is a wife and mother.
That sounds like an excellent plan! And honestly, that is plenty of science! There is so much that you can add to her learning to prepare her for life as a wife and mother – handicrafts, gardening, food preservation, cooking (math!), first aid, biology (body systems), child care and midwifery, budget keeping (more math!), organizational skills etc…
As far as her writing/spelling, I read that when a word is misspelled, just give the correct spelling. Don’t teach it. For the most part, I have been doing that. She just needs help in organizing her thoughts. An outline would help with that.
We do the same with spelling here – when they misspell, we just correct it. We don’t do spelling lists etc… Just copywork/some dictation.
If she loves writing, then you might look into a writing program. Especially one that gets into teaching about organizational skills like webbing etc… A program that really breaks it down for her on how to build a 3, 5, 8 sentence paragraph etc… I know the CM approach is just written narration, but she may need a bit more direct teaching.
My daughter-in-law has their children following a checklist/routine every morning. She also plans out her meals, I think, on a weekly basis. She does things very orderly.
Eventually, when she’s feeling better, she may be an excellent mentor for your daughter. Perhaps she could go every now and then for a day, and observe, watch, and be taught by her about how she comes up with her routines, the meal planning, running a household etc…
Trust me, we’ve gotten into ruts here, too. We’ve really been struggling the last couple years, bouncing all over the place in a sense, not letting go when I should, letting go too soon in other areas, basically just been getting burned out. This is our homeschool reset year. We’re still working out just what it’s going to look like. So don’t be too hard on yourself!
October 6, 2017 at 5:24 pm
psreitmom
Participant
“So don’t be too hard on yourself!”
My daughter-in-law basically told me the same thing. She’s an encourager. Unfortunately, they live 6 hours away from us, so we don’t see them often. We’ve talked about A going to stay with them for a little while to help with the little ones, but A will not stay there without me. I hope she will soon come to a point where she will be comfortable doing that.
This is another area I talked to the psychologist about last year. Her maturity level is more like a 10-11 yo in certain ways, so she has had anxiety and crying in the past year when she knew she had to stay with someone else without me. We do everything together, but it would be helpful for her to be able to do this once in a while. I’ve gotten some flack about not being tougher on her, because she gets so emotional and hangs on me so much. So, we have a long way to go toward independence in more than just school work.
What would be a good writing program to help her organize her thoughts?