14 year old on the spectrum wants to do work independently

It’s hard for me not to sit with her and guide her, especially in math, because, as happened yesterday, letting her work independently, she missed a detail in the directions and ended up answering all the problems wrong. She is still learning to count money, as she still has difficulties going from quarters to dimes to nickels. She can count them individually, but mixing them confuses her. She’s getting better, but still needs help. The neuropsychologist said she will probably never do higher math, so he said to focus on time/sequence, money, and using a calculator. We haven’t been using a calculator, because I wanted her to add and subtract by thinking. Maybe it is time to get out the calculator, for adding money. She can add and subtract on paper, but now I need to let her function in the real world, like banking, grocery shopping, etc.

For this you might actually want to step away from a math program altogether, and just unschool for math, given that your main focus will be life-skills math. For time/calendar/sequencing, just make it a point daily to look at the time, the calendar etc… Say stuff like, “Today is October 6th, in 5 days we’re going to the store. Can you let me know what date/day that is?” Use a visual strip schedule for sequencing so she can visualize sequence of events. Or use a one week wall calendar, so she can focus on one week at a time of events. Make her a part of it, by asking her to add activities to the calendar that are coming up. Have her practice making daily or weekly schedules. Give her (or better yet, get her to make) a weekly/monthly planner, and use it, keeping track of upcoming events, errands that need to be run, deadlines for things, holidays etc…  If she’s artistic, she could create her own wall calendar for the family to use, creating the monthly grids, as well as an assortment of artwork for the top page.  Get her a clock kit and make a clock. Or explore water clocks, sundials etc… Read about the history of time, clocks and calendars. It’s really interesting stuff.

I would just let her learn through real life circumstances – set up a bank account, get her used to making deposits/withdrawals etc… Perhaps have a bank teller help her, instead of you. Many children (not just those on the spectrum) are more receptive to other people helping them, over their parents. Set up mock budgets that she has to maintain. I would also give her the cash and let her pay for the groceries etc… (perhaps sneak a moment with the cashier beforehand and ask her to be patient as your daughter figures out the money).

Let her start earning money – either through chores, odd-jobs, or perhaps she has a talent in an area of crafts. Let her create things and sell them. Let her have a garden and produce stand. Have her do a bake sale to raise money for a charity. Make money real and meaningful to her, not just a word problem that she has to read in some textbook and figure out with a pencil.

I would definitely be letting her use a calculator.

If you really want a curriculum/program feel, then perhaps look at Khan Acacdemy or IXL. Both are online, both will read you the question etc… and with these programs, you can pick and choose the topics you want to work on. Rather than waste money on a curriculum that’s covering material she is never going to use.

We read living books for history, because facts in this area would not work. I have some notes here from something I read, and it says to make geographical connections with animals, which she loves to learn about. Also, cultural studies were recommended. She enjoys science, in certain areas, so I want that to be more interest led. But, she can’t be learning about animals all through high school.

I would actually challenge this thinking – why can’t she just learn about animals? You can go incredibly in depth with the study of animals, into biology (dissections!), genetics & animal husbandry, earth science (study of habitats), political and social studies (conservation, effects of modern argiculture etc… ), history (biographies of famous biologists, zoologists, pioneers of conservation and veterinary sciences etc).

We don’t all need to learn chemistry and physics.

I could let her try to read a small section on her own and write something she learned from it. She loves to write. We will definitely be using the library as well.

Definitely! If she loves to write, then that is a strength. Let her use it!

She needs to function in real life and pushing the mental part of math has held her back in that area. I needed this reminder. I have to forget the books sometimes.

Something I had to learn (and I had to be told, to learn it, lol), is that children on the spectrum struggle with stuff that doesn’t make sense. In that – if they can’t see how it applies to their life, they struggle to learn it. They don’t do well with abstract. So you can give them worksheet after worksheet of clock and money problems, but unless you give them the real life application, it just won’t make much sense to them.

She has tried the online math programs like Khan and CTC, and they just didn’t work.

My son loves online math for fun, but he can not learn from it. He needs that workbook element to really reinforce it, plus of course real life applicability. My daughter on the other hand, while she enjoys workbooks for fun, her learning comes from real life situations.

My daughter will be excited if she can learn about animals for the next 4+ years. We talked about different sciences today that she may be interested in, and she came up with zoology, botany, weather, and human body. The botany and weather can be incorporated into some of those you mentioned. Health is required, so we’ll need to stick the human body in there, but we will need to do that somehow through babies. She loves babies, so learning about body systems, sicknesses, etc. by referring to babies, I think she would learn it well. All she talks about is being a homemaker and mother. So, she wants to be organizing, cooking, and anything that will help her when she is a wife and mother.

That sounds like an excellent plan! And honestly, that is plenty of science! There is so much that you can add to her learning to prepare her for life as a wife and mother – handicrafts, gardening, food preservation, cooking (math!), first aid, biology (body systems), child care and midwifery, budget keeping (more math!), organizational skills etc…

As far as her writing/spelling, I read that when a word is misspelled, just give the correct spelling. Don’t teach it. For the most part, I have been doing that. She just needs help in organizing her thoughts. An outline would help with that.

We do the same with spelling here – when they misspell, we just correct it. We don’t do spelling lists etc… Just copywork/some dictation.

If she loves writing, then you might look into a writing program. Especially one that gets into teaching about organizational skills like webbing etc…  A program that really breaks it down for her on how to build a 3, 5, 8 sentence paragraph etc… I know the CM approach is just written narration, but she may need a bit more direct teaching.

My daughter-in-law has their children following a checklist/routine every morning. She also plans out her meals, I think, on a weekly basis. She does things very orderly.

Eventually, when she’s feeling better, she may be an excellent mentor for your daughter. Perhaps she could go every now and then for a day, and observe, watch, and be taught by her about how she comes up with her routines, the meal planning, running a household etc…

Trust me, we’ve gotten into ruts here, too. We’ve really been struggling the last couple years, bouncing all over the place in a sense, not letting go when I should, letting go too soon in other areas, basically just been getting burned out. This is our homeschool reset year. We’re still working out just what it’s going to look like.  So don’t be too hard on yourself!