60-day returns • free shipping on USA orders $129+
Your policy on bringing your kids out when they're sick???
- This topic has 41 replies, 24 voices, and was last updated 13 years, 11 months ago by
.
- Posts
I’m sorry…I just had to ask….A spreading party?!? Is this a real thing? Maybe, it is still just to early, but I have never heard of this before and I am having trouble understanding if you are being sarcastic or not. Did these parents KNOW that their children had chickenpox because they gave it to them through this “party” and then actually brought them out! REALLY?!? Please tell me that this “spreading party” is just a sarcastic phrase and I am just still suffering from a fuzzy morning brain to think that this is an actual, “thing”.
Sorry, if this is a very stupid question, but for some reason I REALLY want to know! Ha!
And, I am so sorry that your little guy is sick. I pray that other pregnant mother and her baby are fine and healthy as well.
-Miranda
I’m still trying to figure out how our little one, 2 1/2, came down with chicken pox. The family at church that had them kept their children home last week
…but she still came down with them this week. Needless to say, we are “quarantined!” We are supposed to go camping this weekend…luckily it’s a secluded cabin in the woods–no one to infect!!
Any sort of fever, vomiting, etc.-no way! Personally I think it’s extremely rude. There are children that have immune systems that cannot handle things like this-even colds. My son had a little boy in his pre-school class with luekemia and his mother kept him home if any of the children had colds or had been ill.
If my children are getting over a cold, I will take them to the store, library or other large places.
Well, I had to call the mother, because I’d been fuming about this all week, and fortunately her child does not YET have chicken pox, but NO I was not kidding when I said that she took her kids to a spreading party. Some people purposefully expose their children to chicken pox so that they get it while they are young and become immune to it without having to be immunized for it. The chicken pox vaccine is one of the more “controversial” ones so some parents choose not to give it to their children, but instead try to get them immune by “giving” them chicken pox.
Blessedmom – a child is contagious 24-48 hours PRIOR to exhibiting ANY symptoms, so your little one likely caught it without the family at church realizing that their children were carrying it (assuming they didn’t purposefully expose their child… if they DID purposefully expose their children, then you might be wanting to make a phone call as well.)
Thankfully, the mother let me know that their family will NOT be at church this Sunday or the following in order to ensure that if her kids do get chicken pox, they are not exposing the rest of us.
Thank you for the clarification, Rebekahy. I have really never heard of anything like that! I don’t want to be judgmental in saying this, though it may come across that way, but that seems so bizarre to me! The spreading party itself is weird enough but taking your child out and about, KNOWING that they had been exposed and that there was a chance they were contangious, well that is just insensitive and absolutely thoughtless! I’m glad she has agreed to not take her son out anymore.
Well, thanks for the info! I guess you learn something new everyday. Ha!
-Miranda
I know that the other family at church did not go to one of those “spreading parties,” and she would never knowingly expose my little girl. We’ve both talked over any colds/ sniffles that our children have had, especially when they were in nursery/toddler church together. (Most times our children are the only ones!)
However, I noticed that my dd had spots on Monday…so maybe I exposed someone else’s children to it
I googled this topic this morning because I am at my wits end with a family member who brings their sick children everywhere they go. Both parents seem oblivious to the fact that germs spread and their kids have repeatedly spread their illnesses to others. I find it beyond inconsiderate and totally selfish. Here is a prime example of this. Their infant had a fever of 104 and was vomiting but they still brought him to the family get together recently. Not only do they bring their sick children around but they pass him/her around to everyone like a hot potato not advising others that they are sick. They have done this time and time again. In the past, certain holidays have been completely sabotaged because others have caught their illnesses. One year their other child had the stomach flu and yet they still brought her out. That year everyone that came in contact ended up having the stomach flu. And till this day the parents remain oblivious…..so here is my two cents on this topic.
Would you take your child out (church, shopping, etc.) if they had a cold? Cold-depending on how sick they are but we live in the north so pretty much everyone has a cold from Nov-May.
Would you if they had a fever?: Absolutely NOT
What about if they’d been vomiting within the last few hours? No absolutely not but my inconsiderate family member would.
What about not presently vomiting but needing a bucket “just in case”? Is this my family member?
It seems there is a very wide difference in opinion as to what is appropriate. I’d love some input.
Use good judgement in this situation. IF you yourself were sick ask yourself if you would you go out? Unfortunately, some people do not have good judgement at all. Personally I think of others, my children, and not of myself in situations like this. If my child is sick then I stay home and don’t drag them around because they need rest to get better. I find that my situation with my family member has to be addressed because it is out of control. Everyone in our family thinks these two individuals are CRAZY and that it’s rude and inconsiderate that they do this but NOBODY says anything to them. Any advice?
I Agree with all the above. We have a family and illnesses can take up to 2 months. I think it is very rude to go out while sick and very selfish. And if you threw up last night, I do NOT want to see you today.
One thing that people do not think about is the immune systems of other people. Years ago my husband donated a kidney to a girl in our church. Her immune system was compromised (and still is) and what could be a small thing for us could mean death or very, very sick for her. SO selfish to go out while sick when it could cost someone so much.
The elderly, the young, the weak.
Sick? STAY HOME!
Not feeling judged in any way, but we did purposely expose our children to chicken pox because we wanted them to get the disease while they were young. But, I wouldn’t have called it a “spreading party.” Our children did get them, but when our friends brought their children to our house to expose them, they didn’t get them. Most of the people I know sincerely want their children to get the illness rather than the vaccination. The incubation period is 10-21 days, so for at least the first 10 days and possibly up to 3 weeks, a child who has been exposed is NOT contagious. And, there is no guarantee that they will ever be contagious.
Fever-stay home. Except one time, when both my boys had been exposed to chicken pox and had just started with a fever. They were 2 of the 3 strongest ball players on their team. So, with all parents’ knowledge of possible chicken pox, they played ball when both had fevers of 101. Incidentally, it was the best game my son pitched. But, again, all the parents knew they had been exposed and were ok with because either their child had chicken pox earlier, or had the vaccine.
Vomiting/diarrhea-stay home for 24 hours. I’m not sure who wants to be around people when their vomiting or constantly running to the bathroom. NOT FUN!
Colds-if any other symptoms are absent, and no general irritability or fatigue, we still go out. Otherwise, we stay home. My husband is far less concerned about this than I am. I generally go by how the child feels and looks to determine how sick he/she is. He is more that if they don’t have a fever, they can go. Many children would love to stay home from church at the slightest hint of a cold. 😉 Mark Lowry tells of trying to get out of going to church by feigning illness. His dad would give him a bucket and say, “Throw up and prove it.” If he threw up, his dad said, “Now, don’t you feel better. Let’s go to church!” Probably and exaggeration, but funny. He couldn’t get out of going to church.
If we have sick children, we warn parents who are planning to come or have invited us to their house and we allow them to do what they deem best. Most of the time, they continue as planned. But, the parents are at least informed as they should be. Only they know if it’s an ok time to be exposed to an illness.
One caution I would have is that I would be slow to label parents who do differently in this as insensitive and thoughtless, unless it’s habitual or they repeatedly disregard others’ requests. They just may never have thought of it before. If they themselves don’t mind having their children exposed and/or get sick, it’s possible they don’t realize others are seriously bothered by it. It may seem weird that we are not bothered by it, but we see illness as one way of strengthening the immune system. For most children, occasional illnesses are good for their immune system. And, for some children, being around friends, getting up and moving around, helps them feel better.
We have a large family-10 children. When illness hits, it doesn’t always go thru the entire family, but sometimes it does. For us, though, it NEVER lasts a month, even if they come down with it one at a time(except the time they had chicken pox. That lasted over a month because of the length of the illness and the incubation period between children). And, if my children get exposed and get sick-even if they miss something because of the illness-it doesn’t really bother me. Im NOT saying it SHOULDN”T bother others, just that I might not realize it bothers you. If I realized it bothered you and continued to do it, THAT would be insensitive. I also would never have considered children with compromised immune systems because I there were none in my circle until recently.
Ducking and runing for cover 😉
TammiK
I just thought of something that I found odd and disconcerting. When our first 2 got chicken pox, they ended up with a very high fever-above 104. Fearing a secondary illness, our doctor advised going to the ER. After checking in and triage, the nurse directed us to the waiting room. It was FILLED with people, at least one was infant and another was a pregnant woman! I was like, “Uhhhh, they have chicken pox. Don’t you think they should be isolated?” “Oh, yeah, I guess so.” was the response. We were put in a side room-open to the hallway and only about 10 feet from the main waiting room. I would have thought the hospital would have been a little more cautious than that.
TammiK
I guess for my specific family, my husband is a pastor. Our life revolves around church. I wouldn’t mind my kids getting sick and having to sit out for a while if it meant my family was all home for a while. But, for my case, my husband still needs to go to work/church so I am often left alone for weeks on end while part of my family is out and about. It wears on my and happens about 2-4 months of each year. That’s a long time in isolation.
I always call before visiting family with sick children and am offended when others do not do the same. It should be up to me if I choose to risk sitting out a month just so we can hang out for an evening.
I agree that illness is a part of life and that yes one way to build up children’s immunity is to expose them to other illnesses but again you need to use judgment with this. I don’t believe that we should be trying to live in a bubble by any means. The individuals I previously wrote about are repeat offenders of doing this without the permission of others. They bring there kids around when they are extremly ill and pay no attention when you ask if they are sick. It almost is like they themselves are in denial.
Years ago when they had their children they did announce that “having kids, was not going to have any effect on their life”. I think this meant that they wouldn’t make any change of their plans for their kids even if they are as sick as dogs. The recent family get together was not just a small get together, it was about 30 people…ranging in ages from 1-86. Another concern I always have is what about people with lower immunity such as the older people? The mother was aware that her child was on day 3 of what was now a unknown viral infection. Sorry but I think that was very poor judgement on her part. Secondly, I don’t need my kids catching this so that they have to stay home from school for the next 3 days because someone believes that it’s okay to bring an infant around vomiting with a 104 fever. Lastly, there is the medical expense to everything. We have terrible health insurance therefore for us a trip to the doctor and even the most generic antibiotic will cost us well over 100 dollars. So I look at it even from a preventative perspective.
…but she still came down with them this week. Needless to say, we are “quarantined!” 
- The topic ‘Your policy on bringing your kids out when they're sick???’ is closed to new replies.