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Your policy on bringing your kids out when they're sick???
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As a single mom, I am so grateful that my oldest is now 13, and it’s possible to leave her home to watch the younger two while I run to the store. Before, it was very difficult.
Just food for thought, but perhaps we, in our church communities, co-ops, and other groups, ought to put the word out that we would be willing to run an errand for groceries and such if a single parent (or a mom whose husband travels or is deployed or whatever) has a sick child with no one at home to leave them with. It would be wonderful for a such moms to be given a list of a few names and phone numbers they can contact if the need arises.
If it is unavoidable to take the children out, I have had to resort to making my daughter wear a mask in order to avoid catching a nasty bug – she also is very quick to catch pneumonia. Then I keep a bottle of sanitzer in the car for when we are done.
My very serious rule is to stay home and try, like Sue said, to have someone go the store for us. I find people are much more willing to do that than babysit for me…=) (Can’t imagine why…)
Also, I stay home a lot with the whole family from church and other actvities when she is weakened in order to protect her better. People may think I’m crazy, but they are usually the ones who come sick anyway, or have never had a desperately ill child with multiple doctors and hospital stays.
The world won’t stop revolving if a child doesn’t go somewhere when that child has a cold, a fever, vomiting, or has diarrhea. It’s just plain common sense and courtesy all around. =)
And just one more thought, as it seems we’re in agreement about keeping sickies home – when you see someone sniffling and sneezing be gracious to them as they may not have a cold, but may just suffer from allergies. I have allergies and can’t remember a day in my life where I’ve not needed a tissue. I always have tissues in my pockets or my purse or my shirt sleeve (learned that from my grandma!
) and even occassionally the band of my pants – when can be a bit embarassing when it works it’s way out of the band and down the inside of my pant leg!If you have an immune compromised family member I would just ask the sniffling party (or their parent) if they have allergies or a cold and perhaps even explain why you’re asking. That way you don’t have to remain tense if it’s just hayfever or allergies (I even sniffle in the winter so I’m not sure that can even be called hayfever!) I’d hate to lose a friendship with a family because they think I’m always sick and putting their child at risk.
Rebekah
Well, I was going to mention the allergy thing, too, because we have them as well as the “sickly” dd. I usually do ask people, and they are usually happy to explain. =) Then we both feel more comfortable about each other.
I’m glad to see we’re not alone in our views. I asked because a couple weeks ago we were in a public place where a family brought a child WITH a bucket. We mentioned (as nicely as possible) that he probably should have stayed home and, sure enough, the next week several of us other families who were there had the stomach bug make it’s way through our houses. My husband had to take an (unpaid) day off from work and we had to miss an important appointment that week. We’ve been given the impression that we’re weird, paranoid, inconsiderate, etc. This family is a larger one with several young children and they seem to feel that we don’t understand because we are not a big family. Apparently this is acceptable if you have lots of kids???
uh, NO, not acceptable even for big families. With our 7, if we get a sickness of any kind, it can take over a month to get it out of the house and that’s IF everyone comes down with it in quick succession. IF they come down one by one, it can take much longer.
It is VERY frustrating to have to stay home that long but we do it anyway to protect us and to protect others. As far as store errands, my husband and I will take turns WITHOUT kids to get what we needs. I’ve also learned to keep a stock of “sick” supplies in our house at all times.
I’m thinking this family would be doing this if they had a big family or a little one. It frequently amazes me how clueless some people can be as to how they affect others with sicknesses!
-Rebecca
We have been invited over to someone’s house before and showed up to find out that they had feverish, vomiting children AND THEY DIDN”T BOTHER TO TELL US. It was over an hour’s drive to visit, they knew what time we were coming, it’s not like they couldn’t have phoned.
We have eight children – ages 13,11,10,7,6,4,2,1. This became a nightmare!
I have heard this from large families – “If you could never go out when one of them were sick, you’d never go out”. Well, I understand what they mean – lately we have been at church once out of six weeks as a family. However, it certainly doesn’t give the large family the right to infect everyone else around them continually.
I have the hardest time with people who do not care to understand germs and illness – you simply cannot get through to them! Another motivation to educate richly in the sciences……
I’m sorry, this has become somewhat of a rant.
I do think it often happens because people are somewhat undereducated and grossly inconsiderate of others.
I agree with Rebecca – this family would do it no matter the size, place or consequences. Yuck – I wouldn’t voluntarily take a bucket with me anywhere, it’s a disgusting mess! Now, I have grabbed Walmart bags out of the back of the car in an emergency…and it’s still YUCK! =)
I’m honestly not sure it’s even a matter of education. They go through that in school, even when I was a kid, how not to spread germs and why. I mean, they’ve been doing that for generations upon generations! If someone’s sick, the family stays home, simple as that. I really think it’s just a matter of people not thinking about other people/stuck in their own little world/being inconsiderate/selfish. It is the time we live in, I guess. 🙁 It’s very sad.
I am surprised that everyone is on the same page on this. My reality when working in Sunday School looks quiet different. Parents drag every Sunday their children to church with coughs, heavy nasal discharges, fever…if I tell them our policy doesn’t allow admitting the children in the Nursery or Sunday School they get upset and are not understanding at all. I also have a few Moms who don’t mind bringing their children after they were vomiting all night long, because “now they are fine”. Of course we can’t ask every Sunday “so, was your child vomiting again?” and we have to relay on that they tell us. Usually we learn unintentionally later in the day that the child was sick the night before.
Don’t get me wrong, I totally agree with you it is common sense that I don’t expose a contagious child to other people, but obviously lots of Moms have a different view on that.
Christine, I have this happen at church too. Why don’t people follow the 24-hour rule on vomiting???
If we had been invited to someone’s house and showed up and they had a sick child, we would have been polite (well I don’t know, I probably would have had a hard time at that point) and kindly LEFT.
This past weekend, we were invited to a crawfish boil. My DH looks forward to this annual event at a friend’s home every year. The night before, we went on a rare outing to eat. Well guess what? He got food poisoning and was up most of the night vomiting.
It had been 12 hours and several meals later when the time to go to the crawfish boil rolled around, but DH had to stay home. We both knew it b/c it had not been 24 hours. He had classic signs of food poisoning which is not contagious, but we couldn’t be 100% certain he didn’t have a bug at that point. As it turned out, it was definitely food poisoning.
When people asked me where he was, I told them had had been sick all night with food poisoning, but he stayed home just in case it was something else. EVERYTHING single person said, “thank you! Sorry he was sick, but we are glad he STAYED HOME just in case.”
I think the large family excuse is just that–an excuse. We I guess by some standards are not a large family, but we certainly get the large family comments with 5 children. We stay home when the children are sick. Depending on the child who is sick (age) and if the others don’t have any symptoms, some of us may go. But we always keep the littles home when someone is sick, because they are still learning boundaries and also have a harder time telling us they are not feeling well. You know the drill–“Mommy, my belly hur … ” (they don’t even get the words out before something else comes out!).
Our rule is stay home 24 hours after vomiting period. I CANNOT imagine going to event with other families/children and bringing a bucket with my child. And what of the poor child? We all know how it feels being nauseaed. I feel terrible for that child who was having to sit there feeling lousy and with a bucket?! So sad if you ask me. He/she should have been home … and he/she was also much more succeptable to catching something else while with a fighting immune system.
Actually, I was thinking last night that we all have the same answer, but it isn’t all that suprising – we are all homeschooling and/or on the verge of it, and so we already have put ourselves out the “mainstreaming” wave of thought. Lots of us are dealing with similiar issues, so we have similiar thoughts on a few common things, like this thread! Like I said, we all stay home from church when my dd is ill to help protect her from accidently catching yet another thing when she is already down. Church seems to be the worst offender health-wise, probably because there are “No Set Rules in Church Policy” – I think that we all tend to trust others more at church to do the “right” thing. =)
Agree, agree, agree. I just wanted to add, along with the allergy thing (which several of us have and we always look sick, but aren’t)….one of my sons (age 11) gets splitting migraines without notice and he ends up vomiting from them. I’m always careful to tell people it’s a migraine and get him home quickly if it happens at church or scouts or wherever. So sometimes puking can be from non-sick reasons, but if it’s a “sick” reason, by all means, keep them home!
Well, just had to rant a little, because I’m up late and still not over it… We just found out that our baby was in the nursery on Sunday with a child that now has chickenpox (spots showed up yesterday – which means possibly contagious on Sunday)… You see, this family went to a spreading party last week and decided that while they wanted their kids to get chicken pox in a “controlled” environment, I would not have any control over whether or not I wanted mine exposed AND the worst part is that also in the nursery is a little boy whose mother is NINE months pregnant – thankfully, she has already had chicken pox, but I still can’t imagine the possibility that her son could catch chicken pox and be sick while she’s in labor… and then do you even risk bringing a newborn home to a toddler with chicken pox??? VERY frustrated. I’m reluctant to leave my baby in the nursery anyway, but now… not knowing what disease this family will decide to “share” next – I’ll probably NEVER leave her again!
UGH! The church nursery is where my little ones always get their yuck! Drives me crazy that people have no problem dropping their kids off for nursery. So I don’t leave my little one in there any more. It means that I miss most sermons as he is still being trained to sit still for that long but I refuse to expose him to more at least as far as I can help it.
-Rebecca
) and even occassionally the band of my pants – when can be a bit embarassing when it works it’s way out of the band and down the inside of my pant leg!
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