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Would you tell??
- This topic has 7 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 13 years, 7 months ago by
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Completely OT of homeschooling:)
I have a family member who has a son that has done something rather unChristian-like and my husband felt the need to let his parents know. I agree, but wanted some input on the subject.
If this has ever happened to you did you feel as if you were doing the right thing or tattling??
The further we move away from finding out the more uncomfortable I feel. I feel like we know something and that it’s not fair that the parents do not, although they may actually already know or have suspicions. I will confess that my son did do something awhile back (not to this caliber) and we were glad to have found out and take care of it quickly. This family is not usually very appreciative of finding out what their kids have done and almost look at the messenger as someone who is trying to tell them that they don’t know what they are doing (which is not the case).
Either way, my husband was going to be the one to talk to the dad, but I feel so anxious about it, maybe because I’m a female?? Maybe because of the family in question?? I don’t know.
Please pray for this young man….if my son(s) were going down this road, I would be heartbroken.
Thanks in advance…I know this is not a homeschooling topic but I feel that I will receive helpful replies.
I think it needs to be approached gently, but I would definitely tell, as I personally feel it is our responsibility before God (out of loving concern) to deal with sin.
It would be important to be careful, but truthful, and not get involved more than necessary, since how they are going to handle it becomes their responsibility.
This is a difficult situation to be in; we have been there once before, we had the blessed situation of dealing with parents who were grateful for the heads-up.
Praying for the son of your family member.
Gaeleen
Thanks Gaeleen. I appreciate your help. Life was so much easier to deal with when our kids were toddling and testing life within our walls….
I would want to know. But that’s me.
As a teen, my dad found out a friend of mine was …doing things she shouldn’t be… and told her dad. We both felt it was tattling and none of his business (this was before I was a Christian, but my dad was, and my friend and her family isn’t). Her dad didn’t care in the end, anyway, so he really didn’t need to be told.
So I guess it depends on what it is, and if the family is a Christian and has the same moral values as you do in this area. Whatever you decide, tread carefully. Family issues are difficult to deal with, don’t I know that! 🙁 Praying for you and your dh to make the best decision for all involved.
I would want to know.
We are dealing with something similar. We moved to a new area about 7 months ago. We have become friends with a family, but their oldest daughter is continuing to be unkind to our daughter and starting to lead others with her in those actions. We are trying to figure out how to deal with it and not sound like we are putting our daughter and a pedestal and saying how horrible theirs is. Our daughter does not react well to this other girl, but who would?!? We are trying to deal with her reactions and teach her to leave when someone is unkind.
These are hard situations
Thanks everyone. Yes, they are Christians and have the same moral values, but like Sara B. mentioned, we must tread carefully if we do anything at all. The issue is something I would want to know (my husband, too), but like pangit mentioned…it feels as if we are trying to put our kids on a pedestal and point out the “bad” in the other child. We all know that our kids are not perfect, but when someone points out something (even in Christian love) our claws can come out and it if it’s family then it can make waves.
Please pray for this young man. I think he is reaching out for attention and is angry for some reason. My son has been reluctant to hang out with him, but he is not a bad kid, just making bad choices right now.
Thanks for the input…it seems the common thread is that we all would want to know even if it would be difficult to hear.
While reading these posts, the parable of the Good Samaritan came to mind more than once. I kept thinking, why? This boy is not a hurting victim, he has sinned! (As we all have.) So, what’s with this nudge? Holy Spirit, is that you???
Then, my3boys wrote: “I think he is reaching out for attention and is angry for some reason.” Suddenly, I realized, the young man is hurting–inside. And I think if you avoid telling his parents (who are his “innkeepers” for this season of life), you might end up being like those who crossed the road and left the injured man alone. Perhaps you are to be the Good Samaritan in his life, even if he doesn’t see it that way. If you handle things discreetly, you will have done the best you can. The rest is up to him and his parents, and God is in control.
Yes, sue, that is how I feel. To just let him pass by (or for us to pass by) is just acting as if we don’t want to get involved and a, “Not my kid,” attitude, and I just don’t feel right about that. I don’t like having to be the one (or my husband) to say what has happened (or happening) because it’s just a hard thing to do, but by not letting them know I feel we are keeping something from them. If we didn’t know and they found out in their own time/way, then that would just be the way that it would be. But, it’s all because we do know that makes me feel obligated.
Again, thanks everyone. I appreciative the thoughtful advice and insight.
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