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would a different schedule help?
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I am considering buying Managers of their Homes, by Teri Maxwell. Those of you who have used this book/system (or something similar) could you give me some feedback? Does it work well for you? Is it overly complicated?
Right now I use the FlyLady system of morning/evening routines, a weekly plan (paperwork on Monday, errands on Tues. etc) with a calendar that I make a to do list each day. My “to do” list is short (I limit it to 6 items) and includes whatever that particular day’s “thing” is from the weekly plan.
This is what works: It’s SIMPLE. For the most part I don’t have to work at remembering what I’m supposed to do, because it’s either part of a routine or assigned a day. I have a place to write things down. I get overwhelmed by big projects or what appears to be a big job – the FlyLady system breaks things down into manageable chunks. I’m a procransinator, so when I put things off or don’t get things done on time, I usually don’t feel overly guilty anymore, because FlyLady says things such as “jump in where you are” etc.
This is what doesn’t work: When all I have to focus on is my family and house the FlyLady system works beautifully for me. But, I have never found a way to make my FlyLady “schedule” work with what I need to do to help my husband in his part time business (which will eventually become full time for him when he is self-employed. Right now he works another job) For my part, I do all the bookkeeping which takes me anywhere from half-hour to 3 hours a week. For eight months of the year I need to be out of the house for half the day on Saturdays (kids have a babysitter) and I spend anywhere from one to two days taking care of other business related things. Which I could accomplish in one day with no interupptions from my children (which is why it’s usually two days) So, for eight months I end up dropping everything extra I can possibly not do, which includes all of my personal hobbies, extra errands and anything beyond basic cleaning. And two and a half on my days on the “weekly schedule” are business related. So obviously other things go out the window. Most of the time I feel great if I’ve kept up with meals, dishes, laundry, paying bills and vacuuming. The other thing I really hate is being mentally preoccupied with what I have to get done each day, which makes me feel like I live to get a list done and am not as available to my children as I want to be. (They are 5, 2 and one in the “oven” due the beginning of next year)
My single largest concern about homeschooling is fitting it into the rest of my life. Right now we spend time outside, and do read alouds. My oldest has expressed an interested for some time in learning to read and write, so I did plan out a light kindergarten year for him. I have yet to get started with it. We are still doing what we’ve done for preschool/early years: time outside and reading books, with habit training. I can’t be the only mom out there who will be homeschooling and helping with an at home business, I wish I had the extra money to hire help either for the business or housework, but that isn’t an option right now.
So, after that long-winded post… would a more structured schedule be a good solution? Or am I just going to make myself nuts trying to keep up with it? Should I just modify what I have now? Opinions and advice please!
I know many who have successfully used MOTH, but it did not work for us. This is probably because with a child with autism, you can’t account on the schedule for meltdowns, crises, etc, and I found that with the babies and toddlers we just always got off schedule and then I found myself stressed about it.
I looked into Flylady, too. I love the idea, but for household management, I’m just not good at using other people’s schedules and systems. That’s just me.
I’m not trying to discourage you from trying MOTH. Doing meals, dishes, laundry paying bills and vaccuuming is sometimes all you can do….and that’s alot right there.
It really sounds like you are doing a wonderful job homeschooling already!….the best part is your children see their mom being a true helpmeet to their dad…and that is priceless learning.
Your children are still so young that the outside time and read alouds is perfect…a wonderful kindergarten program. Please don’t feel like you haven’t “started” because you have!
Anyway, I just wanted to encourage you. There are different times and seasons and you are doing a great job!
Nanci
I, like quitewatersmom, am not good at sticking to other people’s schedules. What I’ve done is taken the FlyLady’s ideas and worked them into our lives. I guess I should say that I’m working them in as it’s an ongoing project for me. I like many of her ideas, but when it comes right down to following her method I found that it was simply too overwhelming. I have some physical limitations and my husband does a lot of the housework that I can’t do, so I’m not about to tell him when, how, etc. I’m so thankful that he does help!
Also, the more I looked into FlyLady the more it seemed that her system seems to feed compulsions. I absolutely had to draw the line at cleaning the shower stall while I was in the shower – something she suggests to save time. Cleaning isn’t my favorite thing to do and I’m certainly not going to do it in the buff! LOL!
I had to take a step back, make up a very brief weekly schedule for our family, talk with our son to let him know that he’s an important part of the team (he’s 11 and helps quite a bit), and go from there. We sure aren’t perfect, but simply having that schedule helps me remember to do what needs to be done. It may sound odd, but I never learned how to keep house as a child and am trying to get in the habit now. Better late than never!
That’s also why it’s so important for me to have our son involved so he’ll know how to keep a home when he’s older.I do think you have a very good handle on what you need to do with regards to your business schedule as well as your homeschooling. I would suggest prioritizing your activities and going from there. Make a list/chart of what you must get done, then fill in what you’d like to get done, etc. Change it as necessary as you go along. It doesn’t have to be fancy or polished for it to work for you. And you don’t have to be perfect!
God bless,
Linda
I did FlyLady for a long time, too, but it does bog me down with school. That routine I just could not make fit with homeschooling. I, like you, am a procrastinator, and I don’t do well with a schedule. Routine, yes, schedule, no. That’s what has kept me from buying MOTH. It seems like a schedule, and I KNOW with a toddler I will never be able to keep up with it.
My suggestion is to schedule your business time into your daily routines. Have a set day that you do it, and make it a part of one of those routines (morning, afternoon, or evening). Saturday’s errands, too. Have it set up this way all year round, even when you don’t need to be making those Saturday errands. This way, it’s all set and you don’t have to disrupt your routines or recreate them. On the days you have business scheduled, make sure you also schedule time for the basic cleaning (picking up, Swish-n-Swipe) and nothing else. For schooltime, I suggest you put that into your daily routine, as well, even those days that you are doing business, so that you are sure to have that time spent with your kids. BTW, you don’t need to do school M-F. You can do any amount of days a week (unless it is specified by your state), on any day of the week. Do what works for your family. That is part of the beauty of homeschooling.
I hope this helps a little! Hang in there, this is just a season of life, and it WILL get better!
I have no feedback on the book you mention as I’ve never read it, I do, however, use the Flylady method. I’ve used it for about 6-7 years. I find that with anything (wo)-man made that there will always be flaws in the “system” and that you have to take parts that will benefit you and make sense to you and leave the rest. I have found in this system that she, the Flylady, mentions to not go by her routine but your own. She’s obviously not a homeschooler so her daily schedule does not reflect that, but I am, so my routine is much different than her’s.
I will say that I’m not a big fan of schedules because I’m incredibly anal and if for some reason I can’t keep up with the schedule then I feel like a failure. I prefer to use the words “flexible-routine.” I love to know what I’m doing and how I’m going to do it, but I have to make myself “okay” when a wrench is thrown into the mix. Being a procrastinator myself, I know that when I don’t follow my routines as closely as possible (nobody’s perfect, nor can you predict the future) and then the wrench is thrown in I kick myself for not sticking to the routine I have set for our family.
I have no idea if this is even helping with your question, but I do find the methods in the flylady system to work, even if they are tweaked to your personal situation. I find the list of “Steps to Keeping it Together” to be a helpful reminder. The list usually reveals a reason why I’m feeling anxious or out of control. One thing that really makes me anxious is having left out my own prayer and devotion time (that is an admission of my character, not a finger pointing at you:).
I guess I’m saying, you’re not alone and we all need encouragement. God Bless you and your family:)
Thank you all for your thoughts. I read over everyone’s responses and thought about it for a couple days. Somehow, seeing the things I need to take care of written out made me realize how much there really is. I’ve decided not to order the book and instead do some praying and spend to some time figuring out what truly works for my family’s life right now. I have no idea why I never thought I could make my own routine/schedule! How silly – i am the mom after all! Thank you especially for the encouragement and freedom I now feel that it’s okay to “do my own thing”. How relieving that it’s okay if I don’t fit another person’s schedule, instead of me thinking there’s something wrong with myself. Thanks also for pointing out what should have be obvious: to take what works from FlyLady and chuck the rest, and that even a homeschooling schedule can be taliored to fit my family, and for saving me $25 and a bunch of frustration!
Isn’t that funny how so many of us are the same way! I’ve been working hard on not “needing permission” to do what’s best for our family. It makes me laugh when I start to realize this. I know things will be easier for my children in this respect as I am giving them training as to how to run a household. This is something I had to learn as I went along, and it’s much harder to learn this way!
I heard a great idea that may help you get started on your schedule/routine. For one day (or several days if you need to), instead of making a “to do” list, make a “this is what I did today” list at the end of the day. Include everything you did during the day such as preparing meals, reading to the children, changing diapers, taking the children to the library, etc….which I sometimes don’t “count” as doing (not sure why!) Then when you look at your list, you’ll be amazed at how much you really did do. Then you can just start tweaking your list from there.
I am such a visual person that this helped me greatly and to start renewing my thinking. Even if I don’t get done everything on “my” list, I am accomplishing alot in a day…tasks that need to get done.
HTH,
Nanci
Hi Morgrace,
Just a note regarding Managers of Their Homes. I was groomed to be a career-girl and did project management for multiple year, multi-million international contracts and owned a restaurant but — surprise, surprise — when I got married and had children I had no idea how to run a home. Laundry piled up, dust bunnies moved in and I felt like a loser. I had a friend who had MoTH but was too overwhelmed to even open it so she gifted it to me. Seeing the Biblical perspective on scheduling, idleness and work in the home was a true revelation to me as I’d not been raised in a Christian home.
The Maxwell’s make it clear that a schedule is a tool and not the master. It is not to be held onto tightly and is something to be prayed about and talked over with your husband. MoTH worked well for us and I got Managers of Their Chores which I reviewed here.
My in-laws moved in with us and then exchange students and we had to let go of the schedule for a season. My husband just told me last week that, come September, he was looking forward to seeing our new schedule as he liked how it worked. I don’t schedule my husband (hah) and we certainly have our share of schedule-changers.
I wouldn’t tell anyone what to spend their money on but just wanted you to know that the wisdom in these books is great and it has helped me a lot.
All my best,
Richele
Ditto Richele about Managers of the Chores! I just got this book in April and we’ve been doing our chorepacks since May. It has been an immense help to me and our children are actually happy to do their chores, realizing what a help it is to me.
I read a borrowed copy of MoTH years ago, and am about to purchase my own copy. You can buy a used copy from Homeschool Classifieds for anywhere from about $12 to $20ppd, but I don’t think you can register a used book on the Maxwells website.
I recently got MoTH, but haven’t implemented it yet, as I just had a baby, and also with summer coming up I knew there would be a lot of disruptions anyway. I intend to use it starting in September.
It can look very overwhelming, but as long as you don’t get too upset when things go off-track, I think it can work well. They do say not to make the schedule your master, but to use it as a tool.
And if you want access to the registered portion of the site, you do need to buy a new copy… I was given a used copy. I don’t know what is on the registered portion of the site, so don’t know if it is that is a huge consideration or not.
I thought someone might like this free chore scheduler. Granted it’s probably not as thorough as MOTC, but the price is right
http://www.currclick.com/product_info.php?products_id=39975&it=1&filters=0_0_0&free=1
That’s also why it’s so important for me to have our son involved so he’ll know how to keep a home when he’s older.
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