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Why do you homeschool? Encouragement needed.
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I’ve just come off a vacation in which most of my friends and family send their children to school. Honestly, the part of sending them to school so I can have a little time to myself is very appealing, but in my heart of hearts, I don’t think it’s best for my sons.
Will you please share with me WHY you homeschool, and what you do to maintain a positive longterm perspective when things are difficult? My DS5 is VERY combative with me when asked to do anything – I know some habit work is ahead of us, but I’m very discouraged right now. I DON’T want to give up on homeschooling, but could use some bolstering and encouragement from those of you who’ve gone before me. Thank you!
Hi Katrina,
Sorry you’re struggling. I would imagine your current feelings will subside once you get farther away from the vacation. I’ve never had my kids (12 and 9) in school, but as I see the neighbor kids getting on the bus before my kids are even awake, having homework, teacher parent conferences, no flexibility of scheduling, sending their kids to school when not feeling well, etc. I honestly think it would be harder on me to send them to school than keep them home:)
We homeschool because we want our kids to have a Godly education (and not pay thousands a year for it…and still have bad influences), we want to teach each child individually where they’re at, we want quality and quantity family time and to not have to constantly be rushed, we love adjusting our schedule at will to accomodate our families needs, we love choosing our own curriculum to fit our educational philosophy.
There are days when sending to school does cross my mind:) But it’s usually just an emotional response to a difficulty that passes. As long as we think our kids are better off at home, we will keep them here (current plan is through high school). To keep positive, it helps to think of the long-term goal. And that no matter what, having kids requires lots of energy…no matter what your schooling choice. If your son is combative, that will not get better just by going to school. The time spent in combatting school homework could be just as long and draining as teaching K yourself:) Kindergarten only takes an hr. or hr. and 1/2 per day. A CM education is great for small kids…short lessons, time outdoors, etc. instead of stuck in a school/at a desk. You mentioned habit work…I think this is done much more successfully at home with a loving mother than at school where more bad habits could develop!
Well, just my .02…sorry so long! Hope you feel peace soon:) Blessings, Gina
I started homeschooling because my son at age 9 was diagnosed with ADHD and had to be placed on medication while in public school. We tried about 3 different meds, each one just worsening with side effects, and when my son started talking about killing himself at age 9 I pulled him out of school. We tried leaving him in PS while not taking medications and it was obvious it was not going to work. It took us a year to figure that out but during that year, God placed on my heart a strong desire to homeschool. I read every book I could on the subject and contacted our local co-op. By the time I was ready to pull him out, I was totally at peace about it. A year later, I pull my daughter out (she was just finishing 2nd grade) because we were missing her on our field trips and outings.
I have not looked back since though we do have our challenging days…especially when I see the state our public schools are in financially. Here in Dallas, they are looking to shut down something like 7 schools because they lack the budget for them this year. Last year, they let go of about 300 teachers due to budgeting issues. Mind you, I do not blame public school teachers at all about the condition of the local schools…that is all on the state and their thinking. Now, they are revamping the standardize testing here and making it HARDER to pass. I pray for all of our public teachers and those students….such challenges they face.
I am not sure what to offer you about the combative nature of your child, but I do have days with my two when they are just not wanting to do school at all. Those are the days we put up the books and go outside, read, or watch some educational shows. I admit, I do not go outside with them all the time but they love the outdoors so anytime outside is great for them.
Keep praying and take it one day at a time.
I totally agree on the time issue too. Kids are in public school from 8 am to 3 pm then come home with another 2-3 hours of homework!!! They literally have no life during the school year…at least from our experience. Not to mention the tears involved with said homework because the pace being taught was not the pace my children could learn and retain the information. The standard the state sets is NOT the standard for all children…period.
I also had no idea what was being taught since no textbooks ever came home. When I asked about the books, I was told they had to share the books with the other classes so the kids could not take them home. Huh? How do they study then? Yep, budget cuts strike again.
We have also been very healthy this past couple of years. No throwing up illnesses or the flu. We have had a few colds here and there but nothing like what we endured when my children were in public school. Such a blessing!!!
Even during our most difficult days, I stop and think about the blessings placed upon our family by homeschooling.
Why do I homeschool? Because God made me. 😉
The fact is, if the Lord has laid homeschooling on your heart, you wil be miserable in the “alone time” you thought you would relish if you sent your boys to school.
Hard work, sacrifice and denying ourselves is all part of it. But so is the blessing of growing together, every day, free from the burdens and demands of an institution.
It is hard when we see our friends (whose kids are doing just fine) in schools all day while the mothers, in effect, “go out to play.” But it’s not my calling, it’s not what how my life is meant to be lived, and denying our God for the sake of self NEVER yields anything positive.
Take heart…stay on your knees…and pray hard for like-minded friends who are crazy homeschoolers, too. 🙂
Why do I homeschool? Because God made me. 😉
The fact is, if the Lord has laid homeschooling on your heart, you wil be miserable in the “alone time” you thought you would relish if you sent your boys to school.
Hard work, sacrifice and denying ourselves is all part of it. But so is the blessing of growing together, every day, free from the burdens and demands of an institution.
It is hard when we see our friends (whose kids are doing just fine) in schools all day while the mothers, in effect, “go out to play.” But it’s not my calling, it’s not what how my life is meant to be lived, and denying our God for the sake of self NEVER yields anything positive.
Take heart…stay on your knees…and pray hard for like-minded friends who are crazy homeschoolers, too. 🙂
“My DS5 is VERY combative with me when asked to do anything – I know some habit work is ahead of us, but I’m very discouraged right now”
THIS. And many other reasons that have already been mentioned. I cannot tell you how many times someone has told me something along these lines as a reason that “they could never homeschool!” What they don’t realize is that these issues do not go away just because their child does (for several hours a day). All you get is a short respite, not resolution.
And even though it seems like you might get some downtime when your child is in school, there is an unbelievable amount of schoolstuff to deal with when they get home that it somewhat negates it. There will be homework (most of it busywork that you can’t see any value to at all), fund-raisers, and a variety of other things that will suck every extra minute of every day. Been there, done that and will NEVER do it again!!
“And let us not grow weary of doing good for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” Gal. 6:9 My theme verse for this year. Do not be discouraged. Get support from your on-line friends if you don’t have any supportive friends in real life. And do not give up. God will carry you.
Jean
The Lord called us to homeschool. I have felt that so strongly since the time when my firstborn was 5 and i PRAYED what He would have me to do. Now we have 3 boys and that 5 year old is already in college. And I still don’t feel like I spent enough time with my grown son. It just went to fast. Knowing this I am cherishng the time I have with my 16 and 9 year olds. Today they got to get out and play before school just because it is a mild beautiful day. Usually if there were rebellious stages in our children it is something we can work at because they are with us. If they were gone all day this would be harder to do. Too, pulblic schooled childen pick up more bad attitudes and habits from their peers. We just have to keep the mindset that this is best for our children and the public schools are really messing up a lot of kids. I don’t know many happy kids in public schools. I feel like crying for them when I hear how little freedom they or their parents have. I too love picking out the curriculum my boys use and getting to learn all this with them. I have enjoyed their sense of discovery and see their accomplishments firsthand. I have been so thrilled to hear them read their first book and see how smoothly their reading became with practice. My youngest son just ask me last night to teach him how to sew. He wanted to sew right then. He had a hole in his pants. I told him I would but not right then. I was surprised he asked me to teach hiim something else. But mothers that is all we do is teach our children. To me the behavioural issures are harder to teach than the academics. But most of all, I believe the Lord is teaching us through our children about love, patience and perserverence. We are a rare breed but thank GOD for this grreat calling. I have never regretted going this path.
If I could wrap up all the above statements, I would! I agree w/ all! Yes, it is hard! Sometimes very hard! But so rewarding! Sometimes I am going crazy..but most of the time I love it! This is MY job. That is the way I look at it. And every time I start to question..on those days when nothing seems to go right… I think of my kids being away all day..learning who knows what..exposure to what…away from each other…up very early around here…home late …homework…other kinds of attitudes(not just the ones we are working on now) and not being able to share the love of learning, God, and family…then that makes me sad! I would be more unhappy if my kids were in school than I would be happy to have time to myself!!
Sounds like maybe you need a little break to rethink things. I would make a list of pros and cons. What you want for your family and children. And maybe carve out some me time everyday for at least 30 minutes. Also, I would be curious to know about what your friend’s kids are learning and how they think and behave. HTH!
I think we all go through this..we are not perfect!
I posted this on another post earlier. this says a lot!
“I work for a King. He has put me in charge of his home.
When He comes to see how I have managed His possessions
and His children, I do not want to be found wanting.
I want to do my best. Everything I have is on loan from Him.
I have room and board and a job to do, but it is all for Him.
Therefore I want to dress my best and do my best in all my work.
I also want to be creative, for this is a sincere attempt to glorify Him
and His beautiful creation. How I manage my home is a form
of worship to Him.” –Lydia ShermanI agree with it all – I have so many reasons to homeschool… one is I want my children to be able to do school work at a pace that works for them – not bored because it is too slow or too fast.
My son was fairly combative when we first started homeschool at age 6… he had seen shows of school on TV (kindergarten type classes mostly, or shows to make kids ready for school) and we had also had him in a preschool for a couple of years… so his view of school was playing with other kids with neat toys etc. We did workboxes his first year, and I think doing that helped a lot. we had to stop workboxes late that year for other reasons, and I don’t really miss them (although at times I do) – but for that first year, he could see exactly what was to be done, and there were little “surprises” in the boxes at times….
Right now he is 8, and is pretty good about doing homeschool. My 6yo following him is mostly ok with it although complains with some subjects. One thing that really did make a difference for my son is comparing notes with another boy. My grandson is also 8 and goes to school. When my son was complaining last year, I showed him what my grandson’s schedule was like for a typical day. Getting up at about 5:30 so that his mom could take them on bus to drop off his sister at daycare, then another bus to get him to school for 8:15. School for hours (and the types of things he did) and then picked up at 3:15 – more bus rides. Home, do a few chores, do homework (about an hour even though only in grade 2 at that point), eat supper, play for maybe 30 minutes or so, and bed. Also we mentioned (briefly) the bullying he was experiencing. This was all backed up by my grandson…. it did take a little while, but my son stopped compaining.
Honestly, I think it’ll just take time. How much are you having your 5yo do? At that time, I was roughly following AO, where 5yo’s aren’t supposed to do anything except have good books read to them, and lots of time in nature. I was teaching him to read, but that was about it.
For my 5yo’s now, I’d do a little bit of reading instruction, a little bit of writing instruction, and a little bit of math…. and they could listen in on the family subjects as they wish.
I’m sorry you’re struggling today. I agree that the farther you get away from that vacation, the more you’ll see what a good thing you have going. It is hard to be around others who do life differently than we do. I have often wondered what mothers do without their children all day long. I think I would get SO bored! At some point, there wouldn’t be any housecleaning left or space left in the freezer because I would have used all my free time to fill it up!
Here is a blog I posted over 2 years ago with our reasons for homeschooling: http://todayindietzville.blogspot.com/2009/07/why-homeschool.html
While our reasons haven’t changed, we have most certainly added to the list. My blog takes on the practical standpoint, but now our reasons have to do with spiritual responsibility. Deuteronomy 6:6, 7 is one of our main reasons for homeschooling, “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.”
To us, we have a mandate from God Himself to be training and teaching our children in His ways all the time, in everything we do. We have chosen to take this verse literally, and therefore feel it is our responsibility to not only teach our children academically, but to teach them diligently to obey God, obey His Word, and love others and themselves. This, in my opinion, can be accomplished more efficiently if we aren’t fighting against the influences our children would come up against in the schools.
Without over-spiritualizing it, I just don’t see how moms and dads keep up with the constant go-go-go of school life! Getting my children out of bed at 6:30 or earlier, hurrying about to get fed and dressed, out the door all day long, then rushing to get dinner cooked, the kitchen cleaned, homework finished, chores done, and still have some sort of family time before bed DOES NOT sound like very much fun to me! I can’t imagine seeing my children only 2-3 hours a day!
Our children have so many opportunities that they simply would not have if we weren’t homeschooling. Both children are involved in pursuing their own interests: our dd loves ballet and gymnastics, ds is learning tae kwon do. At home, they learning how to be helpful, useful and responsible around the house. At 6 1/2 and almost 8 they can scramble eggs without assistance, unload and load the dishwasher, dust furniture, organize shelves and drawers, take trash to the dumpster, fold and put away laundry, wipe down table and chairs, set and clear the table, use the sweeper on the floors, wipe baseboards, take care of pets, and have their personal devotions everyday. They also have the opportunity to earn money each day through an optional paid chore. I wonder how much of that they would know if I didn’t have all day, everyday to teach them?
So, in my opinion, from a practical and spiritual standpoint, WHY WOULDN’T I WANT TO HOMESCHOOL???
I meaant to mention that I did go through periods of doubting myself and how would I get it all done. And then I found such great peace in knowing that the Lord had brought us this route and He would finish the good work he started in us. In other words, we didn’t do it a lone, He was with us every step of the way and still is. That is so reassuring when the problems arise and I give Him the glory for just using me to help my boys stay on the right path. “So that we may boldy say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do to unto me”. Hebrews 13:7.
I am so glad when my boys need t go to the bathroom or need to eat or just rest they can without being on someone elses schedule. I love that we have never had to keep a schedule with the school system and yes, they can even take a day of if they need to without a doctor’s excuse. I am thankful they get to spend lots of time outside and they get to see their dad aroiund his busy work schedule. It is not always easy but is the rewards far outweigh the sacrifrice. As the boys have grown they have learned to do a lot of household chores that I don’t have to do anymore and I have found more time for myself. With your son being 5 it is just a great time to read and cuddle together.
I agree with everyone above, I have struggled personally with everyone of those issues and more. I had my oldest daughter graduate from public school so sometimes I linger with the fact of what they may miss. I then see the things that my daughter never did get to learn or experiance. I wanted to homeschool her when she was young but I didn’t feel “Qualified enough” I went through several things..
I saw her struggle in some subjects and because I didn’t know where she was at in her learning I couldn’t really help her. I didn’t know what she really knew.
Then the wammy hit… One day she came home very mad at me. For a few days this festered. She didn’t tell me why. The when she blew up and said,”The Bible isn’t true anyway.” I knew something happened. I asked her where she got this idea and she said, “Her English teacher showed her in the Bible” so I had her show me. This teacher was into Wicken. She was determined to ruin the faith of our dear child. The teacher had been in this school system for many years and who knows how many with faith she destroyed.
Later when my son was in preschool I noticed they were teaching Evolution to him. I corrected the teacher and gave her educational material on creation. She took it home and her husband and her had a real discussion on it. She didn’t teach it again after that. However, she did have tatoos and was in with the hair dying in different colors. Now, my children were asking me about this stuff. It did greatly influence my oldest.
She was a wonderful preschool teacher but her ideals and things that she beleived were becoming daily things my children were exposed to. In a few years my son tried praying over his lunch ( a practice we do at home) and he was told not to do that . ” It could offend others”. He contined to please God. 🙂 But this was just some of the things.
He was bored in school. He wouldn’t do his homework. They asked me what they should do. Well, they can’t do this and they”can’t” do that. So, what can they do? They couldn’t get him to do anything. If he doesn’t want to do it. So if it is up to me I might as well be teaching him. right? They really didn’t like that idea. 🙂
Then, I have another son, right behind him he is now in kindergarten. Well, he is allergic to mold and I would send food to school for him. They wouldn’t even give it to him. when he would have a tantrum and go bonkers they would call me. I would go down and get him and bring him home. This was beginning to become a habit. I followed his day in school and found they were feeding him foods he wasn’t allowed to have. They knew this and still gave it to him. They would even lie to me about it. No wonder he couldn’t stay focused!
I kept this up. ping ponging backand forth between school and home. It was frustrating because I couldn’t get anything done without worrying if I was going to get a phone call to come and get him. I feared to leave to get groceries. Yes, my home was cleaner. Yes, I had some free time. Yes, I had that high energy child that drove me nuts at home and I wanted to get away from. I didn’t get away from him. It just made things worse.
If you have a problem with him at home you are going to have more problems with him in school. The influences are so great that you can’t control them. You don’t know what they are being taught, what they are thinking, the bullying, the food they are eating. If they are bored out of their minds. How much they are absorbing ect… and you can’t help them if you don’t know where they are. They are lost.
I asked G-d if you want me to homeschool you will provide me with the curriculum. You will give me a love for my over active child and help me to want to make this work. You will help me see that the public school isn’t for him. He did show me all of this. Even with our bad days They are better than getting up at 6am to put him on a bus to be gone all day and come home around 5pm. Do homework, eat dinner, take a bath and go to bed. That isn’t a life for a child. They should be building snowmen, lying in the grass torchering grasshoppers, catching frogs and butterflies, playing in water and sand, learning wonderful stories about life.
Not sitting in a desk bored out of their minds waiting for the next fun assignment to come, if it ever does. I know my reasons to homeschool, mine are like everyones above and more. You must find what it is that you hate about sending them to public school. The above were some of mine. When I go threw the ” I wish… stage” usually brought on by visiting others. 🙂 I think about the “what they don’t have….” 🙂
They don’t have a child that… has allergies, is high strung, sensative, ……. They don’t have cool curriculm, help with housework.:), Someone to enjoy the day with doing fun projects, (they get to clean all day). bonding, kisses, hugs, happy faces(most of the time). They don’t understand what they are really missing. I have been on both sides of the fence. I have seen what it has done to my oldest child. I have seen what it started to do to my younger ones. I see how much more mature my children are compared to school children who only have peers to guide them. I see that my children have culinary skills and learning skill that school aged children do not have.
Everyone of these homeschooling moms has felt like you are feeling right now. Everyone of us has gone threw this or is going threw it right now. We all understand how you feel. We all sypathize with you because somedays are just harder than others. We are determined. We are strong. We know what we believe is best for our children. We all have to continue the good fight and keep the faith that what we are doing is the best for our little ones.
I remember how empty it feels when you let your child on the bus for the first time wondering if it was the right thing to do. I know that the reason I felt that way was because he was suppose to be here with me and he is just a little tike that needs his mom. Not a teacher that doesn’t care about how he really feels because all she wants to do is teach him her curriculm. She has an agenda and that agenda isn’t your childs or his feelings.
Find your peace with what you are feeling and going threw and remember …. “This to shall pass ! “
Blessings and I hope you continue to stay strong and find what it is you hate about the public school and what you love about homeschooling. 🙂
Sweet ladies, thank you so much for your perspectives!
I am reminded afresh why I DON’T want my smart, active little boys subjected to a system over which they, the teachers, or my husband and I have no control. I am excited to grow and learn alongside my boys; I just need to REMEMBER that I AM curious, I DO like learning, and it’s a tremendous blessing to do it TOGETHER.
We are a part of a homeschool organization affiliated with an AK school district, and so we “have” to do language arts, math, social studies, and science. Even now, I have to turn in a report card for my son for kindergarten, and work samples, which is tricky, when most of our time IS spent reading all kinds of fun books together.
Having been a classroom teacher in my former “life”, this year has been a humbling paradigm shift for me when it comes to teaching, and learning from, my own children. I truly see this as a refining time for my spirit, and my identity. Never easy, but always worth it. 🙂
Thanks again to all of you. I look forward to journeying together with you. And yes, I will be praying often for other like-minded “crazy homeschooling mamas” to call friends.
I second “the Lord called me to do so”. It started when my DD was in K and DS in PreK. Both were in a private christian school (DS in addition in a special needs program in a public Preschool) and I was working 3 seasonal/ part time jobs. I knew with both being in private school I would need to go back to a full-time job to be able to pay for the tuition or send them both to PS. PS was very quickly ruled out since God put a desire for a bible-based and God loving education for our children in our hearts. I started praying a lot and God led me to home school, something I never imagined in my wildest dreams! It is about a year that I started looking into home schooling and after DD finished K I stopped working and took her home. DS is finishing up K in PS, then I take him home, too. To be honest I was scared to death to start HS and thought I better start with one child, especially since my DS has therapy sessions that were provided in school.
Now I see HS as one of the biggest blessings in my life! My daughter has a much better learning progress since she is home and we cut out a lot of stress out of our lifes. Like others mention here, DD was in school from 8-3, then homework and afternoon activities(ballet, choir, church activities etc), DH and I working. The weekends were wasted on shopping, household, catching up on stuff to do in and around the house. Church and fellowship and any family acticites were cut short or hardly possible.
Another thing I want to catch on is that I still find it very strange that PS students are busy 10 hours a day but don’t learn anything
. My oldest went from 7th to 11th (early graduation) through PS so unfortunately we experienced it first hand.I could go on and on and on about all the reasons I am now so glad we were led this path and I do not look back and cannot imagine putting them back in school again.
. My oldest went from 7th to 11th (early graduation) through PS so unfortunately we experienced it first hand.
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