When kids feel like there's no free time?

We are re-working our routines/schedule right now, but here’s what we basically do:  Rise and shine around 7am, breakfast, chores, school starts between 8:30 & 9am and break at around 12pm for lunch.  Quiet time is daily from 1-2pm, no exceptions (well, rarely exceptions…  LOL).  After that, if there is still schoolwork to be done, we do it, and then it’s free time until about 5pm, when they finish any remaining chores (including picking up before Daddy gets home).  Supper is at around 6pm, and after that they get free time until their bedtime routine (I try for 7:30pm so they can be “sleeping” at 8pm, but I rarely get around to it until 8pm….  I may as well just face that fact, huh?  😛

BTW, we schedule handicrafts, art, and guitar lessons (for my oldest) during the schoolwork time in the mornings.  Even with 3 kids who need my help for nearly everything, we get it all done usually in about 3 – 3 1/2 hours.

Another aside: I don’t know if you saw the post about chores recently, but in it, Doug had mentioned something about popsicle stick chores.  I made those, and this week has gone much smoother with chores.  They can do their chores whenever they want (usually during their chore times), as long as it’s done before dinner at 6pm.

Sometimes my kids say they don’t have enough free time, as well, but I think it’s more about whining that they don’t want to do anything other than play (which us adults have a hard time saying no to, as well).

HTH,

Sara  🙂

I never thought of doing a PS day. Have to keep that in mind if the complaining gets bad as it may down the road with some of mine.

I do, however, make sure to point out the priveledges they get that PS schools don’t. Anytime we drive by a PS school on our way to something fun, I say “Should I drop you off for school today?”. I make sure to point out when the kids are leaving for their bus in the morning and mine are all still in pj’s or when the bus comes thru in the evening and my kids have been done wiht school for a long time and are already enjoying free time. So far that has worked for us. They do occasionally complain about wanting more freetime but also seem to realize that PS will NOT make that better.

Rebecca

I can go into my schedule if you want; my husband is very disabled and I’ve had 2 neck surgeries in 2 years. So my children are extremely involved in the workings of the home, with many chores and spur of the moment help; there’s only the 4 of us, but we, too, have chickens, 3 German Shepard dogs and 2 cats and a garden.

I find that most of the time, when they complain, I mean actually grumble as opposed to expressing frustration; that tells me that they have had too much free time. I have noticed that the more “off” time or free time they have, the more grumbling and whining I hear. Whereas, when they express frustration with several days of doctor appts. and grocery store trips, then that’s different. They are generally happy when we are working together in the garden, working with the chickens, etc. There’s a sense of accomplishment and their playtime is more agreeable afterwards.

I say, if they’re grumbling, they’re being self-centered; not grateful for their free time and not recognizing thier duty to family and need to be more useful (or contributors) in the workings of the family. The PS thing is a “grass is greener on the other side”; they see friends/relatives “off” of PS at a certain hour or time period and they’re still working. They see PS children without chores and not contributing to the household and they too want that irresponsible lifestyle. This is you and your husband against the culture of laziness (or sloth as Benjamin Franklin said) and the self-esteem, child-centered movement style of parenting that exists now.

I wouldn’t worry too much about the PS desires; continue to address the reasons why you do what you do; I don’t think any amount of explaining will convince them. It’s about contentment in this area and trusting and believing in the parents and G-d’s calling for the family.

IMO, perhaps a little more hard labor and contributing to the family is in order when there is complaining or just a reworking of the wchedule to make the older ones be more helpful?

Rachel

Rachel, that is very insightful.  As I read through your post, I could see that in my own children.  Thank you for sharing what you have seen in your own family.

Sara  🙂

I enjoy the comments.  My son was griping today when we had to leave for an errand (that he knew about beforehand!) because it was breaking into his free-time.  I might just add that we did a very short homeschool session because of the errand….

I gave him a brief rundown of a PSers day.  Then later, after I had picked up his adult sister (who has a son the same age as my son), I asked her to describe my grandson’s typical day.  I think it was educational for him!  (My grandson gets up at 5:30 to get ready, they have to take 2 buses – one to drop my granddaughter at daycare, and another to get to school, then has school (and mentioned how long it is), then bussing to get home, then about 30min to play, then homework, eating supper, helping clean, and maybe a little more time to play, then bed.

But then his sister mentioned that one of the kids in her son’s class had a friend come to school with him one day (a homeschooler.. lol) – and said that we could probably set it up with the teacher… so my son could sleep over at his sisters, and experience a day at school (I’d pick them up at school…)  I am thinking this sounds like a fantastic fieldtrip!   (I sure hope he doesn’t love it though… you never know.)